AIBU to find a month at my parents' home too long? Going nuts!

[Pinkcheetahs]

I feel very ungrateful writing this but I'm going crazy. I'm spending the summer holidays with my lovely parents in their big house abroad (in saying big as in, we all have space and our own bathroom etc)

They've offered to look after DS (7) whilst I'm working (short) hours for two weeks and soon my husband will join for another two weeks, in total we are staying one full month at my parents house. It's my old childhood home where I grew up. Everything is annoying me - old school mates who never moved away and I keep bumping into, the neighbours who have never changed, forced small talk on the street etc. my DS has a lovely time with my parents but the neighbour children obviously have their own friends and are aren't interested (not blaming them of course they're children!)
There has been talk of us moving back there in years to come but I kinda feel like I don't want to be here for too long 😭 how can I make the best of this? Would a full month be too long for you guys as well?? Is it just me? I'm trying to be helpful round the house and treat my parents but I'm feeling so restless

Ha, I'm currently doing the same thing at the other end of the country. I feel you OP. My mum is lovely. My daughters are having a wonderful time. But it's a great reminder why I left. Like you, I didn't fit in back then and I still don't. Almost everyone else stayed and took over the respective family winery. I sometimes question if I made the right choice and ponder how different life would have been. But I'm two weeks into the four weeks and I'm certain this life wouldn't have been for me. It's all very Leage of Gentlemen, so I'm taking myself to the nearest city tomorrow just to get a break. Ironically, I live very rurally in the UK, so it can't just be that. Either way, I'll try and enjoy the food, while ignoring the neighbours as best as I can.

Look at it like this, the first part of your stay has been a trial run, now you know you’re not at a point in life where you’re comfortable moving out there anytime soon, you can put that decision to rest and treat the rest like an actual holiday if that’s doable. Is there anything in particular you’re not happy with? Is there activities or outings they’re pushing? Early wakeups? Any pressure at all? I know I went away with my mum for a week at 5 months pregnant, I love her to pieces but she’s a complainer and likes to constantly be doing something so she was up at the crack of dawn looking at busses to other parts of the island etc and I just didn’t have that in me, neither did my DH or 5y/o, so that put me off, if I was free to do what I wanted without judgement, I’d be fine!

I thought you were in the same place as me. I am in a European Capital, which I crave for so so long to be back and had so many plans but everything its annoying me, and I am living with my parents in their big house for 6 weeks and Its just terrible. But my situation its different as I have 4 kids and no money as I lost my job, so its really really sad I cannot do much with them or help my parents in any way :(((

We had an unexpected delay moving house and moved in with the in laws for a week. They absolutely bent over backwards to look after DDs who are tricky. They made all the meals and left lunches when out, cleaned up after us while we were working long hours. Amazing.

But I can't relax in someone else's home or when someone's visiting mine.

A week was quite long enough.

I am currently in the same situation and loving it!! We are doing the full 6 weeks of school holidays out here. We are in a small rural village but it’s by the sea. However, I don’t drive and to go anywhere someone needs to drive me, and I feel I am inconveniencing people. So I am chilling at home while the GPs are looking after the DCs, I am working remotely the 3 weeks and taking off the other 3. DCs are having a blast, going swimming every day, going for walks, GPs are very energetic so they are on top of entertaining them. Also my mum does all the cooking. I do the house tidy up and laundry. I love how care free I feel out here. I have friends and they come visit us, but otherwise I am not fussed about socialising or doing anything but rest, read books, catch up with work and spend time with my parents.

This is super interesting as I think you hit the nail on the head by saying I'd have moved by now if if I'd really wanted to!

Aww I'm sorry about the money situation. I bet your parents don't expect you to do anything for them though, I bet they're so happy to have you and your children there 💜

Sounds amazing! I'm having a great day again today after a bit of a bad one yesterday. Enjoy your time there😊

Oh my goodness! I can totally relate - in my place it's not the winery inheritance, it's huge farmers who have had lots of land and cattle for literally centuries and think they are better than everyone else, and now their offspring (who went to school with me) are exactly the same. I need to ignore them and focus on the many wonderful aspects of being here especially my parents and the amazing weather. Enjoy your summer 🌞

Thank you all so much for your replies. I think you've made me realise that the was more freaking out about the prospect of moving back rather than anything else. And the fact I met some of my old school mates at the lido yesterday which are literally like the cast of mean girls, they haven't left and always make me feel inferior for some reason!

I'm having actually a really great day today and I'm looking forward to my remainder of our time here. I realise I'm in a really lucky position as well to spend some quality time here and that I get on so well with my parents, and that they get to spend time with my son!

Wishing you all a wonderful summer🌞 ⛱️

You need to think of it the other way round. You left and lived a more adventurous life, and they're the ones that haven't left the same town!

I don't go back to my home town any more as my parents moved, but I always found it quite amusing to see those who were still there and hadn't done anything other than marry a local and have kids. Some even have children that go to the same primary school as they did!!

You need to put your tourist hat on and go have fun!!

A friend of mine from Poland has been living in the UK for 20 years with his wife. They're kids were born in the UK, but they have now decided that moving back to Poland would actually be better. The country has come a LONG way in 20 years and after staying with family, they realised that it has far more to offer than the UK now.

Yes I've got friends form Poland, it's beautiful. I think it always depends on each and every family's different circumstances. There's a lot going for Germany but we live in a really beautiful part of the UK and have a lovely community ( and I find Brits personally nicer and more easy going) though I wouldn't completely rule out moving back here.

It's interesting what you say about them having stayed and me having lived a more adventurous life- to me it often feels as it they are berating me for moving away and for having less children than they have!

The trouble with the parents of Mumsnetters is that they are all a bloody nuisance and need taking in hand so they do everything your way. Sort them out now - without delay!

They must change how they live; eat salads that they don't like; move their rugs; let you tidy up so they no longer know where the hell anything is; the list is endless ........ better get stuck in right now!

Christ, I can barely manage an overnight.
No helpful suggestions, but I feel your pain. The past is another country and all that.

Sorry, but I do sigh a little when I read posts like this. One of my parents died when I was in my twenties, so the time when I could ‘go back home’ is a distant memory.

I’m not asking for sympathy but when this ‘going-back-to-your-parents’ phase of life is gone, it really is gone.

Just try to really enjoy it in the here and now because, as sure as the sun comes up tomorrow, it won’t be there forever. You seem to be almost finding reasons to not enjoy it?

If I had my time again I would ask a lot more questions about their life and about family history.

Huh? I have no idea what you mean

I'm so sorry to hear that, and I didn't mean to be insensitive! My parents are wonderful - I wasn't complaining about them but more about other factors. I do realise it was all very first world problems (or really no problem at all) apologies if it's come across the wrong way. Sending a hug!

I was reflecting one of the previous poster's comments .... I should have made that clearer ...

My DH and I often holiday with my DPs as we do genuinely have a good time all together. That said, the longest we’ve done is two weeks, and I suspect regardless of how well we all get on, things would begin to become irksome once past that point.

Find some ways to give yourself (and your DS?) some time and space out of the house and look forward to when your DH arrives as I’m sure it will start to feel much more like a holiday then. Plus there’ll be another adult buffer there!