Feeling like an alien for choosing one child

58 replies

NorthernWildflower · 26/07/2026 11:20

Wherever we go I always feel like there’s something wrong with us, as our family of three.
Everyone else seems to be with two or more children.

We have chosen to stop at one because of my mental health, neurodiversity and my son has been very difficult from day one.

I was out today with a friend who has three kids and one on the way and I just felt like an alien. I can’t really relate to her experiences at all, most people I know have more than one or are pregnant at the moment, it’s really difficult to know what to do.

My DS is nearly 8, so I wish we’d just gone for it sooner.

OP posts:

M2B19 · 27/07/2026 18:21

My DD is an only child. We have friends with only children too. She is lucky to have lots of family friends and cousins of a similar age. I can honestly say I have never felt any judgement for only having one child. Sometimes people may make comment about ‘only having one child’ but it’s not in malice.

Missj25 · 28/07/2026 00:20

SerenaCat93 · 26/07/2026 11:40

I don't know why you feel weird it's perfectly normal to have one child these days.

Having 2 or more kids looks awful. Whenever I see mums out with multiple young children they look stressed out of their minds and watching them scream no! Come here! As one both children run in opposite directions and the cogs are free spinning in her mind choosing which one to run after first. No thanks!

Whilst having one child is obviously perfectly normal, you sound ridiculous in the rest of your statement 🙄.

TrailingPlant · 28/07/2026 00:23

Bluntly, I find it much stranger that so many people go on to have more than one.

durdledoris · 28/07/2026 00:29

starrynight009 · 26/07/2026 11:39

I have one child, not necessarily out of choice, more circumstance, but I have embraced it. I also can't relate to a lot of what my friends with multiples talk about...which mostly seems to be a lot of stress. There's pros and cons to every family size and situation. You do what's right for you and your family.

Agree - am currently on holiday with my dd and my friend with her dd, having a lovely time and as you said, am embracing it!

Missj25 · 28/07/2026 09:16

TrailingPlant · 28/07/2026 00:23

Bluntly, I find it much stranger that so many people go on to have more than one.

If this isn’t a wind up post .
How idiotic you sound .

Bringemout · 28/07/2026 09:18

I have one I don’t care, I feel a twinge for DC sometimes, think they would have liked a sibling but tbh I don’t think too much about how many kids other people have or worry about how many I have. I do know my life's a bit easier with one and we are a happy family (as I’m sure bigger families are too). You are overthinking it OP.

sociallydistained · 28/07/2026 09:20

I don’t feel this way at all with one. I’ve nannied for multiple children for 20 years I know that is not for me. I feel pretty smug with my one sometimes when out with others with more! So much easier although my son can be as hard work as many children 🙈

Sometimeswinning · 28/07/2026 09:32

It’s in our genes to reproduce. I think that’s now evolving into something else but others who say above they don’t understand the need for more than 1 either don’t understand science or are being a little too “I don’t care” and perhaps have that little niggling thought completely from nature.

I would hate to live like they did when there were 8/9 children and that was those who survived.

Men and women are having children later and less children. So you’re definitely in a very small circle to feel alien.

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