AIBU to feel overwhelmed by neighbours' building work all summer?

[marshallzumarubble]

We live in a semi-detached bungalow and the adjoining bungalow is having a huge extension, they are literally stripping everything back and redoing the entire inside. No problem. There is currently no-one living in the property and they have a company overseeing the work. They started this work a few weeks ago and the noise is insane. They start at 8am every morning with drilling, banging, including on the shared wall which happens to be the wall of both my kids' bedrooms. This wasn't a problem when we all up for school etc... but now it is the holidays and they are being woken every morning, Monday - Saturday.

On top of this, they have scaffolding up around the back of the house and are often on the roof, shouting, swearing, playing music loudly. It feels like our garden isn't our own. When they are on the roof they are literally overlooking us. They are friendly and sometimes say hello but it just feels a bit awkward and intrusive when you are trying to enjoy a coffee in the sunshine. We have had brick dust over the clean washing on the line. Straw blowing all over the garden from some sort of insulation that are removing from the roof.

Today, DD (age 11) was in the garden, practicing cartwheels and gymnastics, and one of them shouted 'Keep going love, you'll get there'. It was an entirely innocent comment and meant to be encouraging but it has made her feel embarrassed and upset as she now thinks they were watching her practice, especially as she was in a leotard.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but realistically, is there anything I can do?

I don't want to be that neighbour and, I get it, building work is noisy and that is unavoidable, it needs to be done.

Is it just a suck it up situation and accept that this summer isn't going to be one we get to enjoy in our garden?

What the hell? If a builder next door made a comment like that to my DC I’d be blocking their van in until they apologised. I would get in touch with the neighbour and tell them to sort their builder out. I have only ever employed builders who can behave. No swearing, and the radio is on low. Someone round the corner had sweary builders on the roof last summer. After s few days of it the nearest neighbours complained, and the owners turned up and had words with the lead builder.

Do you have a contact for the neighbours?

I would approach the owners and / pr managing company and ask that they put as many measures in place to mitigate all this. They can put up screening all around the scaff and possibly along your boundary to cut down dust, they do that in city centre developments. You can ask them to keep radios down and not swear outside.

Maybe ask if they can delay start on Saturdays? What time do they finish on Saturdays? Usually planning permission specifies times they can work.

Just be calm and reasonable but assertive.

Do they love it? Or are they polite to the children of the person who hired them, but would draw the line at the neighbour sending children round to spend the summer learning about plumbing?

If they are renting out structures in gardens for holiday letting they need change of use of land planning permission. If they haven't got it you can report them to the council and they will have to apply retrospectively. If they don't get planning consent they can be closed down.

Not what I said and if it came across that way then my error. Supervised small slots let the builders lead . And I think most people who are not obsessed with Mumsnet point scoring understood that. If the builders tolerate it and the children get something out of it - it might make what the op is tolerating a little more bearable. Win/win or rather tolerate / tolerate.

I’d have a word about the swearing but then starting work at 8am isn’t really an issue.

If you’d be happy to have your children out playing in the garden in the holidays at 8am you should be ok either way neighbours getting on with their lives too.

Sometimes I genuinely can't tell if someone is being sarcastic or just stupid. I really can't.

Thanks for all the replies and the helpful suggestions. I definitely need to be a bit more assertive, I was really trying to keep the peace as much as possible and thought it not worth the hassle.

I am going to speak to the company overseeing it and ask for a heads up for particularly loud/messy jobs and also ask them to tone down the swearing and music. I am awful for swearing myself but I usually do it in context, this is more saying 'fuck' every other word, or discussing the date one of them had at the weekend in great detail, just general unpleasant discussion which would be fine on a building site in the middle of nowhere, just not a few metres away from kids.

It is just frustrating, especially as when it was us getting building work last year, we communicated everything to them, even though they weren't living there at the time and the property was empty (the woman who owns it lives abroad, her elderly mother used to live there but it stood empty when she died and now she is doing it up apparently to turn into an airbnb, although I haven't actually heard that from her). We emailed her regularly to let her know timeframes, and was really clear she could contact us if there were any issues. But we have had nothing like that from her!

And as for the poster that said my daughter is delicate?

Nah, she's an 11 year old girl, whose body is changing so she feels self-conscious and isn't used to having grown men she doesn't know talking to her when she is in a leotard in her own private garden. I appreciate the comment was innocent, perhaps a tad clumsy but well-intentioned, and yes, as she gets older she will learn how to work out what is well-meant and what isn't but, at 11 years old, she gets a pass on this one.

Whaaat??! Are you serious?

Aside from the fact that this would slow the work down a lot, you really can't place that kind of expectation on the builders! How would you react if someone turned up at your work with a random kid and informed you that you were to show them your job so they could 'learn new stuff'? It'd be a no, presumably, so why should builders be expected to incorporate teaching and childminding into a day's work?

Besides which, a lot of kids wouldn't find it remotely interesting anyway. This suggestion is straight out of a 1950s storybook, and it probably wouldn't have worked in real life back then either.

Also, They wouldn’t be insured for small children on a building site 🤷‍♀️.

Oh Lordy some people here need to get a grip. Your kids will learn from safe experiences and experiments like this far more than being wrapped up in cotton wool and sent to the petting zoo ( don’t forget the hand sanitiser). Honestly I give up.

Mate what aren't you getting about this? Builders are PAID PROFESSIONALS who are paid to BUILD.
They dont want to stand there pointing interesting shit out to the neighbours kids like theyre in an installment of Peter and fucking Jane!

I'm looking forward to after 3pm today when the builders go home for the weekend and I can get my washing out on the line without fear of it being covered with dust and debris.

Two days when I can use my patio hopefully and be able to sit outside with a glass of wine and my book.

😎🌞😄

Also if I’m paying for professionals I don’t want nextdoor’s kids “having a go”
at blocklaying or pipe fitting. I’ve never heard anything like it!

Can’t believe someone is suggesting the kids go visit the building site. Health & safety regs literally wouldn’t permit it and the builders have actual work to do.

At least what they’re doing is productive ie improving the house next door. After 30 years of kids just whacking a football for no reason the building work wouldn’t bother me. I have to say though, why hang washing out if you know it’s going to get covered in dust

There's more to why your suggestion is being derided than just the health and safety angle, and I think you know that full well.

Well, obviously I didn't know. As I said, we have had no communication from them on what is happening at any point. When I pegged things out that morning I had no idea it was brick cutting day. It was a lovely surprise in the evening!

Yeah, we have them at home starting at 6am so you have my sympathy but 8am on someone else’s house is very reasonable to me.

It won’t be forever and maybe take them some cake and ask if they could just watching the swearing as it’s the holidays.

Yeh! Imagine calling round and there are kids all over the project. Not good

that said many of them do just that in between their swearing, music listening and obnoxious comments to little girls. They’re all in the job spec I believe.

It’s reasonable to ask them to mind their language, keep the music down and to leave the kids alone.

Sad that they don't already know to do that, like normal Human beings!! Shouldn't be that people have to tell them!

As is it’s not bad enough putting up with building work, you now have music and yelling workmen too.
I’d have a word with whoever is in charge.

🤣