AIBU to feel overwhelmed by neighbours' building work all summer?

[marshallzumarubble]

We live in a semi-detached bungalow and the adjoining bungalow is having a huge extension, they are literally stripping everything back and redoing the entire inside. No problem. There is currently no-one living in the property and they have a company overseeing the work. They started this work a few weeks ago and the noise is insane. They start at 8am every morning with drilling, banging, including on the shared wall which happens to be the wall of both my kids' bedrooms. This wasn't a problem when we all up for school etc... but now it is the holidays and they are being woken every morning, Monday - Saturday.

On top of this, they have scaffolding up around the back of the house and are often on the roof, shouting, swearing, playing music loudly. It feels like our garden isn't our own. When they are on the roof they are literally overlooking us. They are friendly and sometimes say hello but it just feels a bit awkward and intrusive when you are trying to enjoy a coffee in the sunshine. We have had brick dust over the clean washing on the line. Straw blowing all over the garden from some sort of insulation that are removing from the roof.

Today, DD (age 11) was in the garden, practicing cartwheels and gymnastics, and one of them shouted 'Keep going love, you'll get there'. It was an entirely innocent comment and meant to be encouraging but it has made her feel embarrassed and upset as she now thinks they were watching her practice, especially as she was in a leotard.

I don't think I am being unreasonable but realistically, is there anything I can do?

I don't want to be that neighbour and, I get it, building work is noisy and that is unavoidable, it needs to be done.

Is it just a suck it up situation and accept that this summer isn't going to be one we get to enjoy in our garden?

You can have a word on keeping the music down and not to talk to the kids, but past that no there is nothing else you can do if it’s permitted or approved development.

Have your kids do a lemonade stand around lunchtime.

You're not being unreasonable to be upset by it, but nor are they doing anything wrong, so there is nothing you can really do. Some parts of the work will be quieter than others, and they won't always be on the roof, so it won't be consistently this bad all summer but it is likely to have a big impact. If the music is a big issue then I think it would be fine to ask for it to be turned down. I wouldn't ask them not to speak to the kids as that will inevitably make things very awkward which might things worse not better for you.

It’s often the neighbours who have to put up with the insanity of all this while the owners are blissfully oblivious as they can live elsewhere. I feel deeply sorry for you but as others have said, it’s permitted and you just have to grit your teeth and hope it won’t take months more. I’d be upset too, your summer is basically a write off but it won’t be forever. I hope you have activities that will take you and your dd out during the day

Definitely ask them to turn down the music though

YANBU but sadly nothing you can do. Have they given a completion date for the work?

Do you have contact details for the neighbours? I would be asking them to ask their builders to do a few reasonable things to make it more tolerable , eg

Netting round the sides of the scaffolding so the builders can’t overlook quite as easily, also should help stop rubbish blowing in

Music volume down. No comments to kids.

Warning in advance when anything particularly noisy is going to be happening so you can plan to be out.

Same for any brick cutting or breaking as that’s so dusty, so you can plan laundry.

Of course building work is not completely predictable so giving a warning is not always going to work out but they can at least try.

If the neighbours want to have decent relationships with their future neighbours then I would hope they would at least ask their builders to make these changes.

Feeling your pain. We had this with the house we're joined to and it lasted 2 and a half years in total. The guy buying it had his dad doing it up (mostly single-handedly) while he (conveniently) worked away. It was a miserable time. We fell out when it came to a head finally on New Year's Day as they were hammering a fascia on the front of the house for hours and we'd had enough. Needless to say, we are not on the friendliest terms!

Do you not have a party wall agreement? You could have delayed the start of works during that process. Our neighbours gave us a week's notice of starting in July, and as they didn't follow the party wall process properly, we objected and said we wanted it delayed until September, which it was. My view was that if they couldn't be bothered considering us and though it was okay to put us under pressure to sign a PW agreement at the last minute, I couldn't be bothered having works like you're experiencing all summer.

And as @minipie has sensibly said - have a list of rules you want the neighbours to agree to. Our other neighbours builder was very considerate and washed our windows and path etc weekly.

What do you want them to do ? Halt work for the summer so you can lie in your garden ? Unrealistic. But you can ask to lower music . Sorry to say this but your daughter needs to realise the difference between a well intended remark and something she can be worried about .
How are people so delicate this days ?

Definitely tell them to turn the music down and stop the swearing. They don't even realise they're doing it most of the time but in my experience, when you point it out and tell them to pack it in, they usually apologise and mind their language. They also have a tendency to shout as the music is so loud. Turn it down then there's no need to shout most of the time.
Not much you can do about banging and drilling during normal working hours sadly. Generally no work after 6pm in the week, after 1pm Saturdays and no work at all on Sundays and Bank Holidays is the accepted norm. Everything else is considered fair game.

It’s totally reasonable to remind them that it’s the school holiday and there’s kids around and try not to swear or shout from the top of the scaffold, plus if the radio is on, please remember that kids don’t need to hear a debate on LBC or rude lyrics to whatever song is on. I’d point out that your daughter was a bit embarrassed about the cart wheel comment.

The rest is just standard builder noise. We have builders in at the moment - I’d be mortified if one of them was swearing loudly or commenting in the girls next doors cartwheels - the actual building noise is not really anything I can do about that as long as it’s not before 8am and most of the time they are gone by 4pm.

I'm living this life at the moment too, to be fair the builders are ok, I get on with my neighbours and I knew it would be dusty, noisy and a massive nuisance but I can't use my patio due to the roof work and they are quite loud at times too. Also they can see into my bedroom window so I have the blinds down and the window almost shut completely.

I cancelled buying my new garden furniture I was so looking forward to getting this year as I didn't want to pay out a lot of money and then it get damaged by loose bricks, tiles or chunks of wood.

Ah well, next summer then 🙄

Sympathies! I’m not sure who owns the nextdoor but two house these days but, FFS, it would have been nice to be warned that they planned to work whenever they fancy over the past 4 months (and probably for another 6).
It is best not to get me started on the proliferation of Airbnbs in back gardens.

No words of wisdom just sympathy exact same happening to my parents currently.
Attached bungalow being gutted, extension, new roof. Front garden being paved over, back garden being terraced.
My parents are retired and mum has MS. It’s making her ill as she can’t rest during the day because of the constant noise. They can’t use the garden and everything’s filthy.
My Dad was waiting to see if they came at the weekend and was going to have a word with the owner if so.
The unattached neighbours the other side are fed up too

You aren't near Pontrhydyfen are you?
I pass a little row of bungalows on my way to work each morning, and have been watching one being completely transformed by builders. It'll be beautiful when it's finished but I have felt for the neighbours in what is usually a serene little spot.
There's not really a lot you can do as it's temporary. But noisy neighbours are no joke.

We have just had this, not a lot you can do really 😒 The house next door to us was semi derelict for the 7 years we lived here and then a builder bought it and spent a year fixing it up. I work from home and at points the drilling and banging drove me absolutely nuts! Now we have a family with 2 teenagers living next-door yelling at each other and slamming doors so I feel the building work was good preparation 😆 Suck it up and arrange days out is probably all you can do. Look forward to next summer 🥰

Inconsideate builders who dont respect neighbours are aresholes. Turn the music off or down and stop shouting.

right. Your summer is wrecked in the normal sense, so flip it. Let this be the summer the builders show them how construction works how plumbing works what goes into electrical installation. Let them learn new stuff - they’ll remember it forever . Love the lemonade stand someone else suggested.

Yes sorry but you have to suck it up this once and try to see the good- at least if they’re doing this big job they will be done and hopefully not banging, sawing and drilling for years!

My neighbours (who I loved), did a whole house renovation during Covid when we had 3 kids and 2 adults working from home/ home schooling and we couldn’t go anywhere! And yes, they moved out!

I would try to keep on good terms with the builders, but also try to spend as much time as possible out of the house this summer. If you can plan another holiday (like camping or something) then do. Explore your local area and find new local parks, pools, libraries etc and get into a routine of getting out reasonably early with lunch/ toys etc. The good things are that you’re in the summer holidays so there will be loads of free things to do. Also IME although builders start early they also usual finish the noisy stuff by 3/4pm and at this time of year you’ve still got 4/5 hours to enjoy the garden before it gets dark.

The other thing is would it work to temporarily move your kids’ bedroom for a few weeks so they can go to bed later and then not be woken up?

Oh, and usually the first few weeks are by far the worst for noise- it does get much better once the big destructive bits are over. Apart from if they need to cut tiles- that was a low point…

Yanbu. It simply isn’t fair when the owners accept the disruption is so bad that they move out, but leave it for the neighbours. Whilst accepting that building work is going to happen, I would like to see some considerate contingencies put in place for neighbours. Liaising with them about when the works take place. No music (they don’t NEED it). Possibly buying decent ear defenders for your neighbours? I’m not sure, but the current way of ‘we’re doing this and you can’t stop us’ is horrible for neighbours, and some consideration/acknowledgment would be nice.

You absolutely do need music in a job like this. It makes a massive difference to the day. I work somewhere where it’s needed and I never listen to music at home or in the car. It makes the day drag much more without it

If i was painting my garden face for example i wouldnt blast loud music. Why do builders think they have the right to take over so completely

How did the victorians do it

So I’m having an extension done and have been living in it with a baby and preschooler. It’s rough I won’t lie. I have stages of regret too, and it’s going over, I can see our neighbours are over it all. I feel bad too. I didn’t think it would be this intense and myself I am struggling with the 6 weeks holidays. We’re just gonna have to get through it now. However my builders have been really respectful and thoughtful of others around them. X