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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My local train station is currently burning down

280 replies

thehardestpartis · 21/07/2026 10:44

Reportedly due to children being on the station at 5:45 this morning and setting fire to an equipment cabinet.

AIBU to ask where the hell are the parents?! This will cause chaos in the town, reduce holiday maker visits and just generally worsen an already run down town.

The parents should be punished for arson with intent to endanger life, as should the children.

OP posts:
SomersetBrie · 23/07/2026 15:17

Metalmotha · 23/07/2026 15:05

Exactly, that’s not what I said at all, so not sure why you linked my post to it. But Hebrew parenting seems to not create disciple (or indeed resilience) it might work for some kids but chances are these kids would have worked out fine anyway. but most kids need a balance of different disciple styles my neighbours kids, for instance are just laughing in their parents faces as they do gentle count outs etc. they need a bloody good telling off trust me, they aren’t using quite voices)although their parents are) they’re walking all over them at 6

Edited

What you are describing in your neighbours' kids is not gentle parenting. This has been gone over so many times on this thread already.

I linked to your post because you mention foster kids and gentle parenting without really taking in that for kids to be in foster families, the parenting must have been pretty poor. And most likely not gentle. Unless you (or anyone else) can link to studies on how gentle parenting has led to an upsurge in violent children?

0Thatsplenty0 · 23/07/2026 15:38

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 23/07/2026 11:50

This is what has been discussed back and forth in this thread.

I agree with you that what is usually derisively dismissed as 'gentle parenting' is in fact standard good parenting, like most people practise - usually by the kind of parents who do always scream at their kids and treat them like a problem to be got rid of; or indeed who just ignore and neglect them and let them freely do whatever they want, as long as they aren't bothering them.

I don't think I'm a superior parent to most other parents; but I do believe that I (along with the majority of parents) am a superior parent to those described above.

I make no apologies for my opinion that the parents who do only ever shout and scream at their children and never actually talk to them are abusive. Your (generic 'you') boss at work may well take you aside to tell you off for something that you've done that they are very unhappy with, but no reasonable person would accept them screaming at you about it. If you extend it further, and they just naturally shouted at you every single time they spoke, I don't think many people would choose to stay and put up with it. Children don't have that choice to leave.

If you/other parents are not the kind that only ever bawl at their children, then I am clearly not referring to or accusing you.

But why is normal, common sense parenting, where the children know the adults are in charge, being given the name 'gentle parenting' by you? No wonder people don't understand what it is. You also said we're not a 'screaming at children' family as if that's the only other alternative way to parent.

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 23/07/2026 16:01

0Thatsplenty0 · 23/07/2026 15:38

But why is normal, common sense parenting, where the children know the adults are in charge, being given the name 'gentle parenting' by you? No wonder people don't understand what it is. You also said we're not a 'screaming at children' family as if that's the only other alternative way to parent.

I'm just using the common parlance that other people often use, and have been using on this thread; I wouldn't choose that description myself, as I believe that what is called 'gentle parenting' is in fact normal parenting.

That said, 'normal parenting' will cover a wide spectrum. In fact, there probably isn't a way of quantifying 'normal parenting' in the first place. I know a number of families which I would consider to be decent, caring, responsible families - some of them middle class (we aren't MC ourselves) - but where they do shout a lot, rather than talking calmly to the children.

Maybe 'screaming' was an exaggeration, when I mostly meant shouting or just generally very loud (the parents as well as the children); and also I possibly should have said 'calm and quiet' rather than gentle... but then again, the same terms will mean very different things to different people, and many might say that those are just synonyms for 'gentle'.

For the record, I don't personally really like the phrase 'gentle parenting', as it's usually used dismissively and can be understood in a wide range of ways.

We have always spoken to our DS calmly in an age-appropriate way, but not letting him get away with bad behaviour. As I said before, we've probably been lucky as he's always been a generally well-behaved and responsible child, now the same as a teenager. We would almost certainly be criticised by the people who say "You shouldn't be your children's friend; you're their parent" - but it's worked very well for us by being both. We now have a very calm, mutually-respectful relationship; but he still knows that we are in charge.

TheignT · 23/07/2026 19:01

Metalmotha · 23/07/2026 12:56

Only for the barriers to open when you’ve just reached the bottom step the other side 🤣

Ain't that the truth. Do you think they have a camera on us and do it for a laugh.

TheignT · 23/07/2026 19:04

Metalmotha · 23/07/2026 15:05

Exactly, that’s not what I said at all, so not sure why you linked my post to it. But Hebrew parenting seems to not create disciple (or indeed resilience) it might work for some kids but chances are these kids would have worked out fine anyway. but most kids need a balance of different disciple styles my neighbours kids, for instance are just laughing in their parents faces as they do gentle count outs etc. they need a bloody good telling off trust me, they aren’t using quite voices)although their parents are) they’re walking all over them at 6

Edited

Have you thought about this possibly being permissive parenting.

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