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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is new boss being such a knob?

594 replies

Buggeroffboss · 20/07/2026 14:10

Our old boss took ill suddenly in December last year and died shortly after. They been the boss for 20+ years, so appreciate we were all very used to them.

Following their illness I became interim boss. In April I was offered the role permanently but declined as it would mean returning to full time work. I'm bitterly regretting not taking it due to new boss!

We're a remote team, have been since many years before COVID. New boss clearly hates remote working. We do have an office, but it seats 10 people and us open to the whole business (approx 300 people) not just our department (40 people). New boss wants everyone in the office 2 days a week. HR have told him to go whistle - we are all on remote contracts and live across the whole of the UK, including channel Islands and 2 in France!

New boss is now insisting we schedule any "coffee breaks" (you know, where you brew up between meetings) and that under no circumstances are we to appear on screen with tea/ coffee if it isn't adjacent to our scheduled break. In addition he's put an embargo on lunch time errands, such as laundry, popping to the post office or collecting the car from the garage. All time is to be accounted for.

As you can imagine, morale has gone down the pan. We're a high performing department, there is 0 issues with productivity. Our work is largely invisible most of the time, lots of thinking time and idea generation which makes monitoring our day to day workloads difficult, but we always exceed our targets at quarter and year ends - so people are clearly working. In the 6 weeks he's been in there's been a noticeable change in how people are working, fewer people on early or late, most just working to their hours.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and just needs to chill the fuck out?

OP posts:
Buggeroffboss · 24/07/2026 14:13

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That link confirms what I said - probation ended early is treated the same as dismissal. I didn't say you couldn't claim JSA.

I'm not trying to collate any evidence, that's not my job as I'm not his manager.

OP posts:
Biggestfallers · 24/07/2026 14:19

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Biggestfallers · 24/07/2026 14:19

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Biggestfallers · 24/07/2026 14:20

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Biggestfallers · 24/07/2026 14:21

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keepincool · 24/07/2026 14:23

I work for a university. We have had academics who have been dismissed during their probationary period who have then brought ET claims of unfair dismissal. They usually reference a protected characteristic as part of the claim so that the normal 2-year employment period doesn't apply. These claims take up a lot of time and money to defend, and can be emotiotionally draining for witnesses. If an employer has a paper trail of the issues leading to dismissal then that is very helpful in litigation.

CarpetofBluebells · 24/07/2026 16:12

keepincool · 24/07/2026 14:23

I work for a university. We have had academics who have been dismissed during their probationary period who have then brought ET claims of unfair dismissal. They usually reference a protected characteristic as part of the claim so that the normal 2-year employment period doesn't apply. These claims take up a lot of time and money to defend, and can be emotiotionally draining for witnesses. If an employer has a paper trail of the issues leading to dismissal then that is very helpful in litigation.

I was going to say this, if the employee had a protected characteristic they might have a claim. Any HR Dept would want evidence to support a decision to end the probation period and let the person go

Buggeroffboss · 24/07/2026 16:28

CarpetofBluebells · 24/07/2026 16:12

I was going to say this, if the employee had a protected characteristic they might have a claim. Any HR Dept would want evidence to support a decision to end the probation period and let the person go

Exactly.

And I don't know if new boss has a protected characteristic or not. There may well be stuff at play I'm not aware of. Also someone can claim a protected characteristic such as sexuality or religion that doesn't need to be pre-declared.

OP posts:
ThreadGuardDog · 24/07/2026 19:16

Buggeroffboss · 24/07/2026 16:28

Exactly.

And I don't know if new boss has a protected characteristic or not. There may well be stuff at play I'm not aware of. Also someone can claim a protected characteristic such as sexuality or religion that doesn't need to be pre-declared.

OP there are also day one rights which have nothing to do with protected characteristics. In the UK, you generally need 2 years of continuous service with an employer to claim constructive dismissal but short service exceptions apply if the dismissal or forced change is related to unlawful discrimination (e.g., race, sex, disability) or an automatically unfair reason. You would have to check with ACAS for your specific circumstances.

You don’t need a specific length of service to bring a claim for breach of contract, and you don’t need a written contract of employment. A verbal contract is formed as soon as a job offer is made and accepted, even if done entirely through spoken conversation or conduct. They are harder to prove in case of dispute but any other evidence you can gather to support your claim would be useful - the job advertisement for example, or an email/letter offering you the job as originally advertised.

By law, employees are entitled to a written statement of employment particulars outlining the core terms (such as pay, hours, and holiday) on or before their first day. Your employer hasn’t complied with this, and given the drastic change to the original offer, you may want to seek advice from ACAS. The caveat to all of this is that a breach of contract claim is limited to actual financial losses and unpaid notice periods, so you would need to make sure you can make a case for a quantifiable loss.

Chasingthecode · 24/07/2026 19:29

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OneSparklyGoat · 24/07/2026 19:51

Why are so many replies being deleted? I don’t agree with some of them but I haven’t seen any that I recognized as breaking talk guidelines?

Premiumfloppedbigtime · 24/07/2026 20:00

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Buggeroffboss · 24/07/2026 20:33

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HR told me to ask others if they would write down their concerns as part of a group grievance. Their information, their words. Their choice as to whether to submit jointly,. independently or at all.

If I were gathering the evidence I'd be interviewing them, documenting it and submitting it. I'm not. I'm passing on info and asking them to consider doing it.

OP posts:
Buggeroffboss · 24/07/2026 20:34

OneSparklyGoat · 24/07/2026 19:51

Why are so many replies being deleted? I don’t agree with some of them but I haven’t seen any that I recognized as breaking talk guidelines?

No idea. I didn't see them before they were deleted.

Same poster had loads deleted off another thread I'm on.

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Premiumfloppedbigtime · 24/07/2026 20:40

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OneSparklyGoat · 24/07/2026 22:28

Careful how you answer here @Buggeroffboss

It sounds like HR may not be the only one building a case. 🤣

Premiumfloppedbigtime · 25/07/2026 06:06

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Allergictoironing · 25/07/2026 07:37

Wow some of you are really trying to put the boot in on the OP!

Everything is so very dependant on the culture and policies of the individual company, so unless you work at the same place you can't judge really. I can think of some scenarios where what the OP is saying (while seeming a little contradictory) could be perfectly valid.

How I've read it is that until recently nothing has been reported formally to HR. Now the OP as a manager has spoken top them and requested assistance HR can't be accused of being biased by searching for hard evidence based on one person's say so, so they've asked the manager of the team (OP) to collate some examples of the behaviours. These examples may easily be described as "evidence", then from an HR point of view the formal recording of these probably combined with them interviewing complainants (NOT just a chat at the tea point) would then comprise the "Evidence" (note capitalised).

HR has probably either been bitten before by being taken to tribunal, or have picked up a hint that this particular new hiring may have previous, so are making sure that not only have they dotted the "i"s and crossed the "t"s, but have double checked the punctuation.

I think the OP has handled the whole situation very well so far. She gave the new manager the benefit of the doubt and a few weeks to settle in to the culture of the organisation. She has complied with his demands for her own behaviours while trying to mitigate the negative impact on her reports. After there has been no attempt by the new manager to fit in with the culture she's gone up a level and asked advice from the big boss. As the hiring manager, the big boss has possibly tried to stay out of things a little as he could be accused of bias.

Wellitwas · 25/07/2026 09:08

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aMintLion · 25/07/2026 18:26

Buggeroffboss · 20/07/2026 14:21

He said in writing that we were to schedule tea breaks in our diary and not to brew up outside of that and then has taken 2 people aside after they were on a meeting with drinks and he had checked their diary and they didn't have a tea break scheduled. He's since advised that if people do have drinks in meetings he will be checking their schedules.

He previously worked in a call centre didn’t he? Sorry he’s a knob mines a knob too

Razor1965 · 25/07/2026 18:41

I would ask for a meeting and present yiur thoughts to him. You've done it fairly professionally on here except calling him a knob. Leaving that aside, in this meeting inform him it's causing a high level of anxiety and you have been to see the doctor. (It sounds to me like you should discuss it one anyway). If it continues you fear it'll affect your mental health. Is it a company wide policy that you can't make a cuppa? I doubt it. You have 20 years plus loyalty here which is enough to leverage. I would ask them to put it into your contract that you can't make a cuppa. They won't dare because I doubt it's legal.

Razor1965 · 25/07/2026 18:50

I don't think the question is, 'how will he find out.......'. Challenge this. Tell him openly in front of him and the team....you are doing laundry at lunch time then popping car into garage another day. He hasn't got a leg to stand on.

How do i add the 'popcorn gif'. Let us know what happens....

ConverselyAttired · 25/07/2026 18:52

Razor1965 · 25/07/2026 18:41

I would ask for a meeting and present yiur thoughts to him. You've done it fairly professionally on here except calling him a knob. Leaving that aside, in this meeting inform him it's causing a high level of anxiety and you have been to see the doctor. (It sounds to me like you should discuss it one anyway). If it continues you fear it'll affect your mental health. Is it a company wide policy that you can't make a cuppa? I doubt it. You have 20 years plus loyalty here which is enough to leverage. I would ask them to put it into your contract that you can't make a cuppa. They won't dare because I doubt it's legal.

You've not read the thread, have you?

Cromwell1905 · 25/07/2026 18:52

Funny I have never once heard anyone say that they are less productive when working at home.

Razor1965 · 25/07/2026 19:19

ConverselyAttired · 25/07/2026 18:52

You've not read the thread, have you?

Apologies. Not all. I realised the op doesn't have 20 years. Will re read now. Thank you for your observation