is she a CF or am I in the wrong?

[Anonforthis2]

A family member has a huge four wheel drive car. For the past couple of years she has chosen to work in a fairly remote location because it comes with free rent and other benefits. It's about a 5 hour drive away. Where we live you do need a car to get around really, buses are few and far between and it's a big walk to the train, not having a car pretty much means every day getting around town is a hassle.

She now wants to drive the car here in August, her next visit to our town, and leave it on our lawn for 3-4 months until she comes back, to avoid having to drive it back but still have access it to it during her next trip.

We have a fairly large front lawn, there is room for it and it is legal to park on the lawn, if you avoid the nature strip.

I don't want the car dumped here for 3-4 months. At all. I hate the thought of it, I think it will be an absolute eyesore and more than anything I just think it's a fucking cheek to even ask.

Am I being unreasonable? Partner is unsure and not sure how to say no.

This is a genuine question. There have been issues with her overstepping and being cheeky and entitled a few times over the years, so I may just be emotionally reacting to all of those past events instead of this request.

Perhaps your DH is uneasy about saying No because the CF will keep asking, then guilt-tripping, then she'll hold a grudge forever after if you stand firm, and he'd prefer a quiet life.

But from your perspective, every time you draw the curtains and see her car outside over the next four or five months, you'll feel aggravated. You'll feel responsible. Your lawn will suffer damage, and that will need your hard work to get it nice again. And you only need to say Yes once and you're stuck forever. CFs don't care about any of those things because they get their own way, but why should you go through this cycle of stress?

Is there a possibility there'll be an insurance issue? I'd be panicking someone would steal or damage it and she'll hold me responsible. Maybe check that, and it could be a way out.

What’s the issue with just saying ‘i don’t want my lawn ruined, as it’s a lawn, not a car park’

Agree with PP who said direct her to car storage facilities.

Yes I know I will feel just like that :( And yes that's definitely worth considering, thank you :)

You aren’t even slightly. She’s bonkers!

You're not being unfair

I agree tbh - but she is prickly and that's why my partner is hesitating.Thank you though, you're right.

Does your partner's supporting of her parking there have anything to do with them fancying having a drive round in her big fancy car? I can't think of any other reason why they'd consider such a cheeky request otherwise.

Always good to come back with another reasonable solution if you’re worried about saying no. So. She can park it on the road somewhere near you so you can keep an eye. Where it won’t be impacting other people.

Where do you live that the only option for a guest to park is the front lawn or… no where else?

No, definitely not :) They have a Tesla that is their pride and joy and prefer to drive that over any other car. It's not so much that they are in favour of the idea, but they don't like to say no to favours in general and family favours in particular, and she is prickly and they don't want to upset her.

She could definitely park it in the street, but she's worried about her car and something happening to it 🙄

You mention the nature strip and economic incentives to work remotely. Are you in Australia?

Although clearly you don’t like this relative so come on @Anonforthis2 …. Give us the awful backstory!!

I have to step away and do things, will check on the thread later. Thank you all for your ideas and I do appreciate knowing it's not just me😄

Deep breath in, nervous laugh. "Ha ha very funny" pause while she does pikachu face "oh you were serious" shortly followed by politely changing the subject or "I must not keep you, good bye" if on phone.

yes, she’s a CF!

Just say no it ruin your lawn and it's not allowed. Yanbu

I voted Yabu but that's because I wouldn't even notice a car on my lawn. But that's a me problem (sometimes blessing) and my dh would not accept it. He keeps pointing out eyesores or changes around us and I'm oblivious. You could change all my furniture and I probably wouldn't notice😂. I will change to yanbu because I presume you're "normal".

It's a no from me. And a good mumsnet phrase is
No is a complete sentence.

If you have space for 2 cars off road, what happens when people visit by driving there ? Do they park on your lawn or the street ?

If the former, have you considered creating a new parking spot anyway ? If so, then maybe your friend could chip in. Then park the big unused car where it is most out the way, and use the new spot for who drives most.

And as another poster has asked. What is a "nature strip" ?

OP, you’re focusing on the wrong thing. It’s completely irrelevant whether she’s a ‘cheeky fucker’. You don’t want to do the thing she’s asked. That is fine. Stop being such a wet lettuce. I’m assuming you’re Australian from the mention of a ‘nature strip’ — I thought you were a direct culture?

If you are serious, it's worrying that you are calling yourself names for refusing. She doesn't need this large favour, she can park on the road or rent a garage. Refusing is a normal thing to do.

Mate, you’re the crab in the pot and she is bring it to the boil. She has you well trained from asking cheeky things previously.

Yes, exactly. It’s fine for her to ask. It’s fine for you to refuse.

Surely it would ruin her car too?