AIBU to compare our finances to our friends with young kids?

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I’m 30 happily married with very sweet but chaotic twin 2.5 y/o boys. They are VERY hard work and we’re 99% done with kids.

I sometimes think we aren’t doing ok as my friend has a young daughter and financially they’re in a much better position than us.

I work 2 days a week, husband works FT.
I have £40k saved and invested. We have our own small 3bed house and I also have equity in another home (inheritance).
We try to save around £500 a month but my husband is taking over a business franchise and we know it’ll be 3-4 years until we see real profits and change in our life.

I invest around £320/month into a SIPP. We try to give ourself good amount of spending money to have days out and treats etc.

Until the business is stable and a chunk of the business loan is paid off we will be quite stagnant in our position in life. It’s hard not to compare to others, AIBU to feel this way?

How many days a week does your friend work? How do you know financially they’re doing better than you?

You can compare yourself to whoever you want, there will always be someone better off than you and always someone worse off. What do you hope to achieve with all this comparing? Is it something productive like recognising that you fritter too much money away on takeaways and that if you fix that you'll save x amount a year? Or that you look at what you have achieved in the past year and feel proud. Unless you are comparing for constructure reasons all it will do is make you unhappy.

I hate these threads, so goady. My beautiful twin boys are gone 2.5 years, ironically same age as yours. But mine passed away in the NICU. Sometimes op, its wise to look around and say life is good, thankfully we are doing well. I miss my boys terribly. Being jealous of others is pointless. Embrace each day. I know I would if I could have them back.

So you save over £800 a month. Have £40k in savings

what is the issue Excatly ?

There are no other posts by the OP.

You save £820 a month, I'd say you're doing ok.

Unless she's @Handsfreeme.
AIBU to feel stuck financially while working part-time with young twins? | Mumsnet

Why have you posted this same thread again?

You have more than some people and less than others. Like literally everyone else.

YABU to think that comparisons are helpful in any way at all.

Has your friend told you shes in a better position financially than you or have you seen the hard evidence- bank statements, figures etc ? . Why are you discussing your finances with anyone other than your husband anyway .

You're in a good position but you know that, bragging on mumsnet is quite pathetic given the state most people are in financially, whatever the background. The education, family wealth or even social class of the people is irrelevant. Most people are having to cut cloth accordingly and strip back lifestyle creep. Be thankful you dont need to

Why fo people brag like this. "Oh no. Ive only got a spare 40k".

Yes ok.

It is quite natural to compare yourself with others

Yes I agree OP. Life is so hard and unfair. I only have £100K spending money to last me till payday next week.

I think your being either purposely boastful to give your ego a boost or you are tone deaf to the reality of many young families financial situation!! (I’m 59 and so not in this bracket) you’re literally saying you have £40k invested, a house, money in another house and save a good amount every month. May I ask what more you think you should have for your age with 2 very young children?

What are you possibly hoping to achieve OP? Toske people jealous of you. FFS grow up a.d appreciate you are comfortable if you are saving all that money every month. What a pathetic post. You can't be living
in the real world?

The trope about comparison being the thief of joy is a trope for a reason.

I couldn’t agree more: very distasteful and unpleasant knowing what many people are going through these days

Comparing yourself to your friend, for a start she only has one child.
Maybe you need to work full time , it may help ease your worries but with nursery age kids I think any financial improvement is unusual.
Normally with kids that age savings are depleted.
When mine were at nursery we were happy to just break even

It's hard to tell whether you are doing better or worse than other people in your circle of influence as we don't know what you are comparing your life too. In general however it looks like you are doing well compared to the average Brit so crack on as you are. Comparison is the thief of joy remember

If you're investing in building up a business and you've still got savings and plenty of cash for treats you are doing really well.

That's the way it works in a business, you sacrifice in the early days and they you reap the rewards later, if it works. Something employees often miss when they are going on about how much people in business make...

Oh for god sake, are you really so blind.

seems identical to me! Not sure what she wants to hear .

this. how out of touch is OP.lol