AIBU to resign again after accepting my employer’s counter-offer?

[PumpkinPandaShoe]

A few weeks ago I resigned from my current job after being offered a role elsewhere. My employer made me a counter-offer which I accepted, so I withdrew my resignation.

At the time it felt like the right decision. The salary was increased and I thought the issues I’d had with the role would improve.

However, since then the new company has come back with an even better offer. They’ve got budget approval to comfortably beat my current salary and, more importantly, they’ve changed the job description so it now feels like a role I can get really excited about. It genuinely feels like something I’d love doing.

The problem is I’d now have to resign from my current employer again, only a couple of weeks after withdrawing my resignation. I feel awful about that. They’ve invested in keeping me, announced I was staying and, from their perspective, I’ve changed my mind twice.
On the other hand, I also don’t want to stay somewhere just because I feel guilty if another opportunity is a much better fit for me long term.

YABU - Stay
YANBU - Leave

Look, if you are resigning, in the nicest way why do you care if they are cross? You will probably burn your bridges, BUT you say there are issues in your current role and I suspect they will return shortly. If you are truly excited about this new role, and you have the bonus of even more money, I would take the leap.

You need to do what's right for you. This is intimately a business decision and you have a better offer for a better job. Take it. Your employer would do the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

You can still leave well. Or at least try to. Do a great handover. You could even offer give longer notice than your contract requires if that would be appreciated (and it suits you).

Leave.
You will regret it otherwise and always wonder what might have been.
Having a role you are excited about sprang out at me from your OP. Very few have that.
And clearly the new company really want you to put the salary up again.
What was meant for you won't pass you by.
I'd go for it. On the excitement factor alone. 🍀

I’d go. Unless you really love your current role.

I know it’s not easy.

Leave

If you want the new job more then go for that but you can’t erase people’s views that you have flip flopped because you have - albeit with good reason.

What if your current employer makes an even better counter offer?

Changing a job description doesn't make it a different job. Just dresses it up to sound more inviting.

Is this more about the money or issues...

If the former be honest and tell your current employer that you've been offered more money to go with the other company.

If the latter say you feel that the issues you had haven't been resolved so you're sticking to your previous decision and will be resigning.

While I get it's uncomfortable you been to do what's right for you and the standard advice is not to accept a counter offer because you've now given your employer the heads-up that you went to leave and it may be used against you, the counter offer is to keep you for now but not necessarily long term.

It's a straightforward conversation, they came back with a better offer not only monetary but also the other role changes and this better aligns with your future goals so unfortunately you need to resign and don't engage or leave room for another round of negotiations or counter offers, end if cleanly and once and for all. Make it clear that you've made your decision and will be leaving so everyone know where they stand asap and focus on wrapping up your notice period.

Congratulations and good luck with the new role.

Leave. In 6 months time they will forget you ever existed. It's only a job.

It’s both. New company offered an extra 15K per year on top of current company counter offer.

Ever since I accepted counter offer I’ve had a niggling feeling it was the wrong decision.

I am worried about burning my bridges in a small industry where people talk. I’m worried about not getting a reference. I’m worried about having to serve my notice period in uncomfortable circumstances

I get it but sometimes you need to burn bridges to progress. Be professional and polite, firm and straight to the point so it doesn't come across like you're playing games and move on.

Unless there are only 2 companies in the industry you will be fine, and yes they will be upset but will move on quickly and replace you.

If they decide to lay you off they will do it and move on asap like you didn't exist so prioritize your career.

How long is your notice period? You can only focus on what you can focus on, do what you need to do during the notice period and move on.

Re reference is it a small business? References should be standard processes via HR so unless it's a very toxic company where your manager will move heaven and earth to mess you up I don't see the issue and frankly if that was the case that's more reason to leave.

The thing is they could also do a better offer. It’s a job, they don’t care really. You’re there for money and you’ve said you’re also excited about the new role

At the end of the day you are just a number to the company. They will replace you. Sure it’s easier to keep you but you are replaceable.

The quit for a better offer they then beat it, but the other company beat it again. That’s how it goes.

Unless you ever want to go back....fuck em.

When it comes to work I think everyone should always put themselves above their employer. Don't stay for them, do what is right for you.

I’m still in probation period so my notice period is only 2 weeks. I’m also on annual leave for almost all of that (would only have 3 days to work). I don’t know if that makes it better or worse

"The salary was increased and I thought the issues I’d had with the role would improve."
They only increased your salary to keep you, they'd have been perfectly happy not to have done so. And whatever the issues you had with the role, they haven't improved yet, it's just a promise to do so. Which might not actually happen.

"I am worried about burning my bridges in a small industry where people talk. I’m worried about not getting a reference. I’m worried about having to serve my notice period in uncomfortable circumstances"
I'm big on not burning bridges, but sometimes it's OK to do so. And as for serving your notice - that's max a month, right? As opposed to the whole of your future career.

It's fine.

They can't give you a bad reference, only an honest one.

It's what would be best for you, not your employer

Your seeming indecision has worked in your favour since the other company have increased their counter offer.
I would go and just say the offer was too good to turn down.

If you are still in probation, you clearly haven't been there that long.

Take the new role. There is some crazy statistic about how short a time people who accept counter offers stay.

References these days are very bland to avoid risk. Usually dates of employment and job title only. They can’t reasonably refuse to confirm that.

The reasons you were job seeking will quickly resurface within a few months if you stay. I say this based on many years in HR and specifically recruiting. Statistically you’re more likely to be job hunting again soon after a counter offer.

Your gut is niggling with good reason. £15k with better career development. They see your value. Good for you and good luck 💐

You said you wanted to leave. The company got into a bidding war in an attempt to keep you. They lost the bidding war.

They could have avoided being messed about by not trying to stop you leaving and accepting your original resignation. It’s a situation of their making.

No need for any angst. Onwards and upwards.

Counter offers rarely work long-term...the push factors that made you look elsewhere are usually still there. Take the new job, they'll be fine.