AIBU to resign again after accepting my employer’s counter-offer?

[PumpkinPandaShoe]

A few weeks ago I resigned from my current job after being offered a role elsewhere. My employer made me a counter-offer which I accepted, so I withdrew my resignation.

At the time it felt like the right decision. The salary was increased and I thought the issues I’d had with the role would improve.

However, since then the new company has come back with an even better offer. They’ve got budget approval to comfortably beat my current salary and, more importantly, they’ve changed the job description so it now feels like a role I can get really excited about. It genuinely feels like something I’d love doing.

The problem is I’d now have to resign from my current employer again, only a couple of weeks after withdrawing my resignation. I feel awful about that. They’ve invested in keeping me, announced I was staying and, from their perspective, I’ve changed my mind twice.
On the other hand, I also don’t want to stay somewhere just because I feel guilty if another opportunity is a much better fit for me long term.

YABU - Stay
YANBU - Leave

Never base your decisions on loyalty to your employer. Do what’s right you only.

Who can turn down 15K over a bit of embarrassment at having resigned again?

Couldn’t turn that down .

style it out and enjoy your new role

I don’t see there is any reason to be embarrassed tbh. You already announced your keenness to leave so this isn’t a shock. Your new company just did what you current company did and outbid for your services. You must be pretty good that different companies are competing for you. Congratulations!

It’s not very pretty, however you clearly weren’t too happy where you are. Move to the new job. It will all be old news quite soon

I’ve done this but had been with previous job for a much longer time. Consider if it’ll be a problem for your CV if you have only stayed in a job for a few months (assuming this is the case if you’re still on probation). Doing this once isn’t an issue at all - you tried and it didn’t work out so found a better offer with better salary and development potential. If you have done this previously it might look like a pattern and people may get the impression you’re a quitter. I wouldn’t make the resignation about issues, keep it about better pay and work conditions. That way it’s all about pull factors not push factors and usually that’s much better for not burning bridges.

You could potentially let your new employer down gently, explaining that you really want to accept their offer but you wouldn't be comfortable backtracking after accepting again. Show your integrity and ask if they would keep your application on file in case things don't work out.

I had a similar situation many years ago now and the new employer respected me more for it and kept the door open.

Do it. Put yourself first. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t, and will always think “What if”. And remember there was enough wrong with current company to make you look elsewhere in the first place.

That it better and easier. Having the discussion is the hardest part but once it's done and that's why I say make it clear and clean cut so it doesn't drag that's it. Use up your annual leave unless there are critical handover tasks that you need to do so you don't leave them in a lurch and move unto the next chapter of your career.

I've been in your exact same shoes, but in case I'd been with my employer for 20 years. However, given your update that your still in probationary period I wouldnt feel any loyalty to your current place and would 1000% leave! You've already said you regretted staying so grab this opportunity with both hands.

Why the hell would she do this to stay in a job that pays less and where she is having issues and unhappy??

Integrity??? Do these companies show integrity when they let people go for their financial gains?

Your advice is to ask the other company to keep her details on file so if she stays with current company and it doesn't work out she can come back and the other company will be waiting for her right? Keep the job wrapped up warm for her when she's ready?

@PumpkinPandaShoe please don't listen to this advice. If you stay you will build resentment and be unhappy, and the fact is you've already signalled to your current company that you want to leave so you're not secure anymore. A counter offer is usually aimed at keeping you for now to prevent the company being left in the lurch while they figure out a longer term solution.

Time to move on. I think the stats are that even after accepting a counter offer most people leave within 2 years anyway.

Errrr…. NOPE!

Is the dream job in Paris. Do you think your room mate may have played a role in this at all

Yes you're messing them about. But there are times when you need to put yourself first. This is one of these times. Take the new job.

Counteroffers have a high risk of failing. I might even go so far as to say never accept a counteroffer because it is against the interests of the employee.

As another poster said, the same push factors are there. Your card is marked with the current employer, who despite their counteroffer, have now bought themselves some time to start to reduce their dependence on the employee, whose loyalty is now suspect.

One year later, you still resign having been marginalised and lost all your leverage of the new job offer.

Go with the enhanced job offer and don't look back.

1. we regret the things we don’t do, so leave and enjoy your new role.
2. as someone said, it was a bidding war and they lost.
3. you don’t owe loyalty to an employer, they would get rid of you in a heartbeat if they needed to cut costs
4. congratulate yourself on a fantastic negotiation, you did really well.