To not get emotional at end of school stuff?

[MercyMeMary11]

I have nc for this.

I did not get emotional at the start of when dc started at primary school. Nor am I emotional when they leave. Currently youngest dd is leaving primary school and with both dc, I didnt feel much at their respective leavers assemblies.

Other parents, have said, in their own words, that they are "a wreck".

Oldest dd started secondary school a couple of years ago, and I just focused on the practical side of things.

Is there something not exactly right? I think I am the only one amongst my friends- other school mums- who is like this.

No I don’t get the emotion behind it either! I was proud when my DD finally (after 13 years of nothing) got two prizes when she had her school graduation and was a bit emotional when she left for uni but more excited for her. And upset at leaving primary? Seems OTT.

We are all different. I found all the leaving primary stuff absolutely traumatising. Our kids’ school did so much stuff that appeared to be designed to make the parents and children weep. Both me and my husband cried about 5 times in the last week of summer term for year 6.

I’d love to have remained dry eyed as we were worn out.

I didn’t cry at either of my parent’s funerals, but leaver’s assembly? Sobbing. 😂

I’ve never yet been ‘a wreck’ but sometimes I get a bit emotional/ a little tear in the eye at some of this stuff (we’re not at leaving primary school time yet).

When I dropped DD at the childminder’s for the first time she gave me a really sweet note and a ‘care pack’ with tissues, a chocolate, a teabag etc in. The implication being I was going to be sat at home sobbing and missing her. I really wasn’t! I was excited to have a bit of time to myself and it was very part time to start with so it didn’t seem a huge deal. I was sad when we eventually moved on from the childminder because she was lovely, and DD had very much been part of the family. No tears though, and we kept in touch anyway.

Same with her starting school nursery, it did tug the heartstrings to see her looking tiny but weirdly grown up in school uniform - the book bag seemed nearly as big as her. I was just excited for her to start though, as I have been with Reception.

A few days before the end of Reception my eyes filled up in the playground though and the very lovely TA gave me a hug! I feel somewhat the same now she’s coming to the end of Year One. Not a wreck, but a bit emotional and wistful.

She’s one of the youngest in the year, was only just 3 when starting nursery, 4 for reception etc. I was sad for her moving on from the very lovely, nurturing and play based EYFS and wondering how she’d cope with Year One, and am once again a little apprehensive for her as I know next year is another step up and more formal than she’s been used to so far.

I only have one DC and would have liked more, it’s going so quickly and I will very much miss these early primary days, just like I missed the baby and then toddler phase (even whilst finding lots of it hard). There’s no more to it than that really - it’s just a time of year/ transition that highlights how fast they’re growing and changing.

YANBU because personal feelings can't be, it's how you feel.
I on the other hand d am one of the need a box of tissues - couldn't explain why I am like that, just am. Have cried saying goodbye to people since I was a child.

Some people get very emotional about their children growing up.

I’ve never really understood it, considering the alternative.

I’m happy my DC are healthy, interesting adults starting to make their way in the world.

It’s attention seeking

I’m very sentimental and an emotional person in general, it’s very tiring!

I didn’t cry because I was very much an ‘onwards and upwards to the next stage’ kind of parent. The first time I felt properly emotional was when I saw my son in his graduation gown. It completely took me my surprise and I had no idea that I would feel like that. I don’t know what came over me!

Surely the point is - its emption, not logic, and there isn't always a neat 'explanation'.

You say you're happy for your kids, you're excited for their next chapter at secondary, you're glad that they've done primary school etc - all those things can be thought and felt by people who 'get emotional' at primary school leaving.

I think it's just a celebration of what they've achieved at primary, and seeing pictures of your kids being 4 and then 11 and thinking how far they've come in that time makes some people think about things like -

• the tiny version of their children who no longer really exist in the same way (sure that doesn't mean they're not glad they've not developed and grown)
• memories of when they were tiny that they'd forgotten
• how proud they are of any struggles they've overcome in primary school

You might be not very emotional but you may be over thinking it. Its just a celebration and why shouldn't people take some time to reflect and feel? In the same way they do at marriages even though often it doesn't really change anything (couples already live together, have a house, have kids etc by the time they get married, but lots of people still get emotional seeing the ceremony / speeches)

Overall yanbu to not get emotional. But yabu to not get why some people might

I get emotional. You don't. Both of us are perfectly normal,

I can remember helping out at a school where a friend of my mum worked when I’d finished A Levels and her saying to me ‘I bet your mum cries when you go away to university.’ I said ‘No, she won’t’ and she was adamant my mum would. My mum did not cry as indeed I knew she would not. She and I have always been close and she was and is an excellent mother but she would have thought it ridiculous to get so emotional over something like that!

I’m the same and often wondered about the other mums who are in tears and why am I not! I focus on the excitement of the next stage for them and me at these times, celebrate their achievements and moving on, not wish they stay where they are forever!

it’s only now that I have a 13 and 15 yr old that I look back on leavers stuff, class assemblies, songs etc plus all the other stuff like world book day, easter bonnet day and finding random egg boxes the day before they’re needed that I find all this stuff actually sentimental!!

I am with you op, but then I try not to make my childs life about how I feel as I had/have a very emotionally immature father and mother and I don't want to replicate any of that with my child. I did get a bit of a lump in my throat when she got into grammar as she wanted that, she wasn't pushed and i was proud of her determination- she was supported of course. So I am not totally heartless.
Edited to say however on reflection I am fairly emotioness but again that was drilled into me, emotions were for my parents not for me. Case in point when my dad was dying a few years ago i got a bit of a lump in my throat and did that kind of choke sob thing but composed myself very quickly, my mother was bloody furious and made some snide comment to the doctor - who came round to my side of the hospital bed and put her hand on my shoulder.

I got emotional when DD1 went off to university back in 2013 because that was proper growing up in my eyes.

I hadn't been particularly emotional as my three went through each stage at school prior to that. A little wistful occasionally perhaps, but that's about it.

I am an emotional person, I get upset at any major transition points for DS because I know how he has battled against the odds in every way to get to where he is today.

It’s a milestone, I think it’s perfectly normal to feel emotional about it.

You think about how small they were, how much they have changed and the lovely person they are now as they embark on this new stage of their lives. It’s not about being sad they are leaving. It’s just about taking a moment to drink it all in, how fast they grow, the struggles they overcome…

i think it’s odd that some people need that explained to them.

I’m the same op, I don’t get it. I love that things are fun and special for the kids but I’m just happy my DDs are growing up and moving on to the next big thing.

I am like the OP.

What I see allied to this is overcelebration, hyping up life events. Nursery graduations, baby showers, year 6 proms and things of a like kind should be consigned to history.

I don't get emotional either. I've got quite big age gaps between my eldest and youngest children so I have both adult and younger children. I feel a bit " been there, done that" about some things. Not my children themselves, but end of term assemblies, class whatsapp groups and school mum meet ups, things like that and to be honest, I'm looking forward to it ending.

I never got emotional on the first or last day of school when my DD was young. I remember my DM telling me once that lots of parents were crying dropping their kids off on their first day. She didn't cry because she felt thankful that she had a child that was healthy and able to go to school when there were lots of parents with children that didn't live long enough to even go to school. So that always made her feel happy and thankful every new school year/and school ending.

It's ridiculous the amount of events, if your child is finding it difficult then it's just worse for them.
I cannot wait to hit delete on all the WhatsApp groups!

Felt sad ( but excited for them)when they went to university because it was the real end of an era. None of the other ending / beginnings though.

I got privately very emotional at my daughter's leavers assembly a couple of days ago, because she went to such a wonderful school that has been so good for her and I felt so grateful. That school was a huge part of her world since she was 3, and I couldn't have asked for a better one. I kept it private though! I'm also just so excited for her to move on to secondary and how the world will open up so much for her.

Nah YABU, I work at a school and I do notice that the kind who tend to get upset at their children leaving school (especially year 11) are the full time mummy types who I suppose are losing their only perceived purpose in life

I think some people are just way more sentimental! My younger daughter just graduation elementary and my older daughter high school (canada), I just see it as the normal passing of time. Both ceremonies were lovely and a wee bit emotional but I am quite happy for my kids to move on and grow up. Friends were telling me they were so sad about their child moving up to high school but I think 10 years in elementary is plenty! She is my younger one so maybe I am more used to having an older kid than they are.
University drop off is next I'm not sure how I will be, it will be strange for sure not having her home every night, but she needs to move on to the next thing not be stuck at home with her parents!!