To not get emotional at end of school stuff?

[MercyMeMary11]

I have nc for this.

I did not get emotional at the start of when dc started at primary school. Nor am I emotional when they leave. Currently youngest dd is leaving primary school and with both dc, I didnt feel much at their respective leavers assemblies.

Other parents, have said, in their own words, that they are "a wreck".

Oldest dd started secondary school a couple of years ago, and I just focused on the practical side of things.

Is there something not exactly right? I think I am the only one amongst my friends- other school mums- who is like this.

I cried when they started school but was still glad of the break. They’d never been anywhere else but with me and seemed so little but also looked so grown up in their uniforms.
I cried when they moved to Secondary but still appreciated they were ready for a change. What made me cry in the Leavers service was seeing how far they’d come, we had to take baby photos in and the comments from their friends about why they were good friends, it was so lovely.
I cried dropping the older ones off at University but was still really excited and happy for them. I had a pretty good idea they wouldn’t come back to live at home again.

There seems to be, on MN, a type of parent who thinks that their performative tears etc make them a better parent. Years ago a friend was a school secretary and always said there were two types of parents when children started reception. The first type were in floods of tears, hence upsetting their child too, who after break had to be told to go home, the second sort took their child into the Reception area, saw them into their class space, came through the door out of the Infants and threw therir arms in the air and said Yesssssssssss!

I was ok but the leaver's assembly did really tug on the heart strings.

I was more upset about DD2 missing out on all the leaver's stuff in 2020 due to Covid.

I’m very emotional at my oldest leaving nursery, I wish I wasn’t, but he’s growing up so fast and whilst it’s lovely in lots of ways I wish it would slow down! I have never really been a crier either, apparently only when my children are too old for something!

I just think we’re all different rather than one reaction is odd and the other is normal.

I still cry when people die in EastEnders though.

At least you know you're not dead inside 😂

I feel like a lot of people fake it as they think that's how they are supposed to act

My DC are grown now, but I never got emotional at school milestones.

I’m the same and find a lot of the school events extremely twee and downright unnecessary. I had to go watch my DS leave secondary school for the last time a few weeks ago for example. They had a balloon arch and we all had to clap as they walked out. It was really very strange. When I left school I would have DIED if my mum was there, we just signed shirts and left. They also do a year 9 graduation ceremony with caps and gowns- why?! It doesn’t make me emotional, just bored.

I’m an unusually emotional person, but like you for whatever reason I just felt nothing about school milestones.

I don’t get emotional as such but I do get very nostalgic remembering back to their first day and realisi just how little they’ve and how much they’ve grown!

my DD has not found primary school easy and we have had a lot of stress with it. I am actually glad it’s coming to an end tbh and feel happy that we won’t ever be going back.

I didn’t feel anything when any of mine started or finished at any of their schools. certainly no tears or anything.
One of my dc was sad to leave juniors because her best friend was going to a different school. Both mums pointed out to the girls that they lived on the same road 😂
They are now both at uni and still hang out at each others houses when they are home together, it’s very sweet.
But I’m not an overly sentimental person, school serves a purpose and once it’s done it’s time to move on to the next step.

I am the most un attention seeking person ever, didn't want a wedding or ever to be the center of attention. Combined with since I've had children really emotional. Although the first day of reception was fine for me the year 6 leavers assembly was intense for me. I did cry i tried very very hard not to.
They are happy tears of how proud I am of them and us together as a family for surviving all the hard times. If I could I'd opt for a beaming smile but unfortunately my eyes leak and I can't stop it🙈 it is 100000% not performative for me.

I think we are all different I don't think it means anything deeper.

There’s a big gap between not feeling emotional and being a complete wreck. I find milestones emotional for my two and endings have particular meaning (and challenge) for them. I’m so proud of how they’ve overcome adversity and each milestone is a reminder of how far they’ve come.

So, yes, I was a bit tearful when they left primary school. Not a wreck or sobbing by any means but a definite tear in my eye. While I do celebrate all the things they’ve achieved and recognise they’re ready to move on to new things, it’s also a moment for me to recognise I’ll never have that stage of parenting them again, they’re less dependent (as they should be) and our relationship will shift and change.

You have no way of knowing what these milestones represent to other parents. There’s no one perfect way to handle them.

I was dry-eyed when both DC left nursery and when they left Primary School. I felt proud of them and excited for their next steps, rather than sad. Quite a few others seemed to feel the same!

However, DS1 is now 16 and I did shed a (private!) tear after dropping him off at school for his last exam. It felt like such a different milestone! But my friends were not emotional about it at all!

I am relieved it's not just me. I was glad to have some space to think once dc were both in school.
Interesting what a pp said though above, I'm more emotional about bereavement.

I got emotional at milestones with my first. Not with my second (born 9 years apart).

Having worked in primary schools for many years, the majority of parents are like you. I understand why some parents feel a little upset or emotional, but I would question the sanity of anyone who describes themselves as ‘a wreck’.

I wasn't emotional at the start of school. DD was so ready, had been for about a year before and had lots of nursery friends move in to school already. She basically ran through the door and didn't look back. I am feeling sad about the end of infant school. End of an era type vibes and she's had such a good time there. Luckily junior school is basically attached

😆

Definitely wasn't particularly emotional about DD starting nursery/ primary/ secondary but I did shed a couple of tears at her leavers' assembly at primary, but only because DD and several of her friends started crying which set me off. It did feel slightly like the end of an era (and a very happy one for her) As PP said though, a big difference between feeling a bit sad or emotional and being a complete wreck.

I never cry but I was a blubbering wreck when my youngest left year 6. He was really upset, it was so te end of an era , 9 years of that school. Kids were really happy there too. I think for me it was tied into the fact it was proof they were growing up and I’d be left with my horrible husband eventually. (Divorced now)

It's not something i get emotional about. They are just transitioning to a new stage. Its exciting! Im not one that wants my children to stay small forever though. I'm happy for them to grow up and move on with their life.

I never got emotional either. I think me and my youngest son were the only ones not crying on his last day at primary and we both said, right let’s get out of here, when the assembly ended. Nothing bad ever happened at school it was just done and dusted, next! His last day at seniors was no diffetent either. I only get a little emotional when they’re on the stage getting awards or singing their hearts out.

When my youngest left primary there were some mums who really were absolutely sobbing. 🫤 One in particular I knew had gone to that school herself as a child, so maybe for her it really was the end of an era. I just kept thinking I couldn’t imagine my kids going to the same primary school I went to, it seemed strange to me (though admittedly I was brought up somewhere you planned to leave, whereas this is a much more sedate and community driven environment where generations stay local.

Hugs to you, @Seawolves❤️