AIBU to think children do not need packed summer schedules?

[Didhereallyleavethecountryinabetterplace]

We have finished school where we are. We live in a warm place by the beach and swimming pools and so many things to do.
A family member has signed her children up to hundreds of activities and different camps. She doesn’t really work or at least not many hours and from home, they have plenty of money and a large home and garden.
I completely understand full time working parents having to rely on camps/clubs etc. But if you don’t/didn’t have to, is there anything wrong with just letting your kids relax and be at home with you and their friends a bit?
I love mine being off, do get overwhelmed sometimes yes, but generally love it and we can find lots to do and days that we don’t do much, they can relax-watch tv, play in the garden, do crafts, go for a bike ride, swim and so on.
Why do some have to be so over scheduled, especially when they have that normally with school then clubs and homework every night
As a child, I remember loving just lolling around, seeing friends and having some days not really doing much

I don’t understand it

Different temperaments maybe. Some children are not great without structure and something to do or somewhere to go. I know mine was unbearable on a day at home, constantly annoying me just for something to do. My line was constantly: 'I'm not a cruise director'. I love a day at home but I couldn't even get chores done. Holiday clubs are a godsend. Camps like America would have been even better.

You are happy with how you are approaching it and your family member has made a different choice - both are valid, why does it matter?

Some children are fine , some are not. Some parents are fine , some are not. When you get a combination of parents and children not being fine , a schedule ends up being the best for everyone.

You don't have to understand it just accept they do it differently. Not everyone enjoy lazing about at home. Not everyone enjoys spending time with their children.. as postet above says.not everyone enjoys Not having a routine.

If they can afford it and the child.is happy then YABU about their child.

If you can't afford it and it would make your child unhappy YANBU

I feel for the kids

We do lots of clubs and activities and have some quiter days in between where we get the garden toys out, bake, watch a film, play a video game, read, craft etc. The club and activity days seem to go better for all of us and we couldn'thave a run of several days at home. One of my kids is very intense and if we don't plan things she makes her own enormous schemes at home then has a meltdown when things get out hand. The other cries about everything and they bicker with each other. A mix is often best: and activity or walk to the park and a coffee in the morning then back for lunch and nothing in the afternoon.

@Didhereallyleavethecountryinabetterplace How do you know what these kids want? Unless there is more information here you just seem to be projecting your own childhood on someone elses kids.

Different things for different people OP, you don’t need to understand it or feel sorry for her kids. Just mind your own business and save your judgement for your own family. Of all the things to be judging, this just doesn’t need it

Agree, we mix it up too

Not necessarily packed, but they do need something to do/something to look forward to..

I used to ask for all the camps as a kid, by siblings lazed about at home People assume parents drive activities and camps, sometimes kids want them! Saying that I think less is more and definitely none the week before school goes back!

I mean it's a bit weird to pretend you don't understand it, instead of admitting you've come here to criticise other parents doing things differently with their kids.

I tend to mix it up as my parents did when I was a kid, but others will do what suits them and theirs.

I'm not sure what's not to 'understand'?

So what’s hard to understand then?

It's a bit different as I do work, but I have high energy kids and they spend the rest of the year saying things like "I'd love to do a week of surfing/snowboard lessons/mountain biking..." Mine are 12 and 14 and the summer is the chance to do it.

They are often only a couple of hours a day, these camps, and they are back by lunch and able to join their friends, who are just getting out of bed or do stuff with us. All they are missing out on, if you look at what people are actually doing, is they aren't dicking about on their phones between 10pm and 1am. That's the three hours difference in daily activities. They don't want to, they'd rather be outside doing things in the mornings.

There's a thin line between relaxing and mind numbing, you should be really careful where you are on that line before you start feeling sorry for busier people.

Depends on the family circumstances and the child.

Many working parents have no choice. My best friend has her DD in camps all summer because she can only take 1 week out of the 6 week holiday off work and has no other childcare options.

Some kids are very active and benefit from structured activities and lots of socialising. My DD was like that (DS quite the opposite), I used to sign her up for everything I could afford and she had great fun!

Having said that, I was lucky as a child that my mum was a teacher and had the summers off. She used to make a big calendar and stick it up on the wall with the ‘days out’ and activities filled in (probably around one a week). There were no camps or anything in those days (that she could afford) but things like ‘swimming’ ‘museum’ ‘summer fair’ etc.

Then we could fill in the quiet days with things we wanted to do at home or locally - baking, painting, trip to the local park etc.
We found it so exciting! 😆

I voted YABU because you’re clearly wanting to highlight your own superior parenting rather than ask a genuine question out of concern for the other kids. Obviously either approach is fine, no need to judge. Some kids love camps and loads of activities and some are happy to chill at home. Most parents don’t have the luxury of staying home with their kids all Summer and those ‘over scheduled’ kids seem to do just fine in life.

We don’t use phones etc

Do you often find things difficult to understand? Children, like adults, are individuals and enjoy different things. People have different ways of parenting. I’m not sure why that’s so complicated for you? I think I’d much prefer to do lots of fun activities than be stuck at home with such a judgemental mother, but that’s just me and we are all different.

There is large body of research in this area, which evidences that unstructured time is good for children. It’s good for cognitive, motor and social skills, creativity, problem solving etc. That’s not to say that that organized activities are bad or less valuable but let’a not underestimate the value of leaving children to find their own fun.

You’re definitely the better parent.

Happy?

We all think very differently about summer holidays as this PP demonstrates.

I'm trying very hard but I can't get worked up about how other people spend their free time.

Depends on the kids surely? We have stuff on most days, DD1 has various camps and activities booked. We don’t tend to have full days with absolutely nothing planned, maybe a handful over the holidays, but we like to have stuff to do and a plan. She loves going to camps and stuff.

We do a lot of stuff at home during the school year anyway as she doesn’t attend Fridays, so we use that for day trips etc., and due to working patterns, we have plenty of time together for all the baking and whatever it is people apparently do, so summer is a chance for her to do a bunch of stuff she doesn’t usually do. Every evening is free too during the holidays as usual stuff doesn’t run so there’s loads of times for board games, crafts, all that stuff.

My older daughter would have been fine with unstructured days. My youngest needs constant stimulation and social interaction and will gravitate to screens at any chance if allowed. I do work but I would still put her into camps for some of the holidays if I didn't as we would drive each other insane otherwise.

Ok 👍😂