AIBU to feel miffed about my family getting Irish passports?

[Honeysucklelane]

AIBU to feel miffed my DH & kids are getting Irish passports? They all have UK passports and it seems a luxury to pay twice.

I can’t get an Irish passport, but my DH and DC’s can. I’ve pointed out I’ll be stuck in the long non-EU queues at airports whilst they go ahead through the EU queue.

Realistically unless any of them travel somewhere alone, it’s highly unlikely they’ll be with other family or friends with Irish passports so they’ll always be waiting on whoever they’re travelling with anyway so what is the point?

DH was very sheepish when a neighbour popped round with the signed forms this evening and was avoiding telling me what he’d dropped round for.

My husband is Australian and he goes with me to the UK passport queue at immigration. You’re allowed if you’re a family. Don’t fret.

@Honeysucklelanethey can’t have only Irish passports as you have to travel in and out of the UK on your British passport if you’re a British citizen

Maybe take this as a moment of reflection OP. I’m very sympathetic to the mental health aspect as several of my family have similar conditions but if you’re unable to focus on the benefits for your kids becuase of your anxiety at potentially queuing alone for a short period it’s time to get some help for it. Anxiety is a bitch and it can really ruin your life and joyful experiences. ❤️ you can get help with it though so things like this bother you less.

Try living in NI where all the Unionists are now getting Irish passports for the same reason yet they continue to burn the tricolour every year and hate everything Irish. In NI people can have either or both passports automatically. C**ts

Gosh I think this is quite a selfish response. I would be over the bloody moon if I could get an EU passport for my child, so many doors are (literally!!!) available to them, and so many more opportunities.

Yes this is the most surprising thing. Surely he needs your details too when applying !
I think it's great the kids have the Irish passports but at least one should wait with you in the queue if you are split.

Also wanted to add - NI voted against Brexit but many Unionists voted for it and they are the ones now applying for the Irish passport in droves. Thick as f**k.

Just wait if you have to? If they don’t have to wait in a queue and can instead just wait for you, surely that’s preferable. What’s the problem with waiting on your own?

Is it really about queues? Or have just got that in your head?! It seems like a petty gripe on your part.

My DC are getting Irish passports, through their dad, and I am for it. They will have better options in terms of study and travel, why wouldn’t I want that for them?

Then you look to get help for your anxiety rather than holding your children back because of it. You keep saying it's not selfishness, it's anxiety...but it's definitely selfish.

I have complicated feelings about ancestry visas and citizenships. Like yeah, if your parent has a citizenship and you learn the language and go visit family etc. But applying for it when you're an older adult and haven't even visited in generations. And there is not even an intention to usenit to visit the motherland. And people seem to think that the partners should be entitled to a citizenship if your spouses grandparents were from a country. I can't blame anyone that takes advantage of this. Yes, this is clouded by my frustration with immigration rules (and how unfair they feel).

The most salient take away from this thread is that any of you who have European parents need to get your kids a passport ASAP. The process takes years and I'm not sure how the OP's husband is applying for himself and the kids simultaneously. First of all the parent has to get themselves done and only then can you get the kids done.

Now your kids can live, study (cheap fees), live, work in the EU.

Have you actually travelled to Europe recently or just read about queues online? I frequently travel to Europe on a UK passport and have not had any queueing issues at all.

I’m dual national of an EU country. Applied after Brexit. Didn’t vote for Brexit. Dh and I applied mainly, so our DCs could live and work in the EU, if they wanted. We share an ancestral family home, pay bills, taxes, bank accounts, in EU country, and visit regularly at least twice a year as do DCs. There is always at least one family event a year to go for.

It’s a pain being dual national with the new rules, but blame the people who voted for it.

Dh and dcs wait for me at luggage carousel, as I’m disabled and last off the plane and am taken there by the wheelchair team. First on, last off. Meet them on the plane as well.

I’m from NI and will get an irish passport next time. It’s not just about queues. I would feel safer with it. I was in turkey not long ago and the hotel treated us like second class citizens with British passports. I didn’t know they didn’t like the brits as most people we know go to turkey annually and just love it. I didn’t feel safe-yes I am another anxious person but it really was due to how the staff at the hotel spoke to us, we actually really loved turkey! It will open up opportunities as others say for us as a family too which is a huge benefit.
the issue here is not the queuing but why did your husband do this without telling you? And why did he try to hide this from you?

Very wise of your DH to get your children EU passports for the reasons previously mentioned. YABU to be miffed and should be delighted for them.

Id be less worried about a queue and more about a sly sneaky husband

I am sorry that you feel anxious. How are you trying to manage your anxiety? If being a queue in a.large airport on your own stresses you out, your anxiety probably presents in other areas of your life. You deserve to be happy and anxiety free ( without limiting others) so please continue to work on strategies to manage your anxiety.

Most people with dual nationality visit their 'roots' regularly. They are proud of their heritage.

An Irish passport makes sense.

Maybe if someone despises their roots they shouldn't have a passport. There was a thread last week about someone who's husband seemed to have married her in order to obtain British citizenship, that it despicable, not to mention fairly common.

How are your teens getting Irish passports?

I thought you could if your parents had one or grandparents if you’re under 2?

I qualify for an Irish passport but I’m not getting it out of solidarity with my DC, who don’t qualify. Also:

• I’m not Irish, so it feels hypocritical
• I qualify because a grandparent was born in Ireland, but the family was hounded out of the country because the parents were in a ‘mixed’ marriage (Catholic and Protestant). Becoming Irish would feel like a betrayal of what they suffered

Would you rather they all flocked over to Ireland? Do you also resent the grandparents for leaving Ireland and getting UK and US citizenship? It seems a bit pointless to be pissed off about it.

My DD has an Irish passport
and as a languages student is doing a year out in Europe this year. Because she’s going on her Irish rather than British passport she’s doesn’t have to get a student visa, is entitled to (a modest) stipend to support her accommodation and living expenses, and she can get a part time job while she’s there. If your DC and DH are entitled to them they absolutely should be getting them. There are so many longer term benefits unrelated to standing in a queue.

But it is a choice to bring everyone down by your wall of anxiety instead of seeking help and implementing CBT strategies to get through anxiety inducing episodes.
I’ve worked with so many people in this field and my own child, getting through anxiety requires work - ruining everyone else’s opportunities is not an option.

OP you would perhaps had more sympathy if you had posted just about your anxiety about being in a passport queue alone, or that you were upset at how sneaky your husband had been. Yet your focus seems to be that you resent your children having a passport that you don’t.