AIBU to think this is really odd? Neighbour’s cat has lived with us for 10 months and now she’s furious.

[TheFastMauveWasp]

Trying to work out if I’m missing something.

Our neighbour has 20+ animals. One of their cats started coming to us about 10 months ago. She was really skinny when she first started coming over and absolutely riddled with fleas. We started feeding her because she looked hungry and the neighbour had previously said it was fine if the cats came round.
Fast forward and she’s basically lived here ever since. I don’t mean she visits for meals. I mean day and night. Sleeps here, follows us round, is with us all the time. She’s become incredibly attached to us and my children adore her.

The downside is she brought a horrendous flea infestation with her. Our house has been absolutely crawling despite repeated treatments. I’ve spent a fortune trying to sort it. I even rang the vet to ask what the options were and they said they could prescribe treatment, but obviously she’s not registered to us.

So I went to the neighbour and said, look, if the answer’s no then just tell me straight away, I completely understand, but would you consider letting us take ownership so we can get her treated properly?

She became really hostile. She said “they’re mine”, “I didn’t think you’d feed them”, “my other animals don’t have fleas” and “I can’t get near her to flea her because she’s always at yours.”

I also said the cat is covered in fleas, our house is covered in fleas and she’s ended up sleeping outside for the last week because we can’t let her in while trying to get on top of the infestation. I appreciate she may well have felt criticised by that. Equally… those are the reasons I was having the conversation in the first place.

What I can’t get my head round is this: if this is really her cat, why has she never once looked for her in 8 months? Never knocked, never asked where she was, never seemed remotely bothered until I asked about ownership.

I wasn’t demanding the cat. I specifically said I’d accept a no. I just thought after us feeding her for months, dealing with the fleas and caring for her, there might at least be a conversation.
Instead I just got hostility.

AIBU to think the reaction was bizarre? Or can people genuinely be that defensive when they feel criticised… not one word about the wellbeing of the cat!

She's clearly struggling and resents you drawing attention to it. I hope you manage to buy the cat, sort out the fleas and have a happy life with your cat op.

Flea treatment online and report her for neglect & hoarding.

Yes great advice, much better to let them remain riddled with fleas and to starve. 🙄

She doesnt sound very well op

Agree that offering to buy her and apologising (through gritted teeth, as youve done no wrong) is the way to deal with this

YABU for getting into this situation in the first place. If you want a cat - why didnt you get your own?!

You could buy some treatment yourself, but not the cheap and nasty stuff. Indorex for the house - the only stuff that works.

If you think her animals are being neglected, you could get in touch with an animal charity. They can change chip details if the animals are taken away.

OP saw a starving neglected animal that needed help. She didn’t “want a cat”; she stepped in to help.

I didn’t particularly want one originally! We’ve grown attached. Also there are so many cats around our house, mostly from this neighbour, that it would just feel irresponsible to bring another into the area even if I were to consider one

I tiook the next door neighbours cat to the vets. I was told off but they treated the cat, they are a business at the end of the day.

Advantage flea treatment from Amazon should work.

Have you tried those flea bombs? 2 per room and sleep elsewhere overnight! Plus spray every inch (especially windows / cracks / skirting boards etc) before setting them off. It works.

Could you apologise and start again.

Dear neighbour, we absolutely love Kitty Kat and it has grown used to our home. Could you possibly sell it to us for 200?
Our children would be bereft without it.

Obtain ownership then treat it as your own.

My cats are scanned every year when they go for their vaccinations, every vet I've been registered with has done it to make sure the chip still works.

Cats typically go to many people’s homes for food and general affection, it’s quite common so I wouldn’t say her not coming round to look for the cat is worrying. Presumably with the fleas this isn’t an indoor cat anyway so it wouldn’t be surprising for her to see the cat now and then (assuming the cat has returned to her sometimes too for extra food as they do).

Fleas are a nightmare. I had an indoor cat years ago and it escaped only to the back garden briefly, managed to get fleas. Took us months to get rid so I feel your pain. She doesn’t have to give you ownership obviously but you can buy treatments OTC. From memory I had flea powder all over and had to vacuum non stop and empty the vacuum each time. They do go eventually.

She has 20+ animals and at least one to your certain knowledge was thin and flea-ridden, I'd report to Environmental Health and the RSPCA, her house must be vile and the animals neglected.

But she hasn’t really helped - she’s just feeding someone else’s cat while simultaneously neglecting to provide it with necessary medical treatment.

the family have become attached,I would feed a skinny flea ridden cat too.

Fleas even with a well looked after cats are a norm... I deflea mine every week and bathe every month. I give her anti flea pills with her crunches every week but as soon as she goes out she brings back so many insects...

What an odd reaction from the neighbour. It looks like she's insecure.

Do you mean that you've had 'strays', taken them onboard, but never checked to see who they might belong to? ie, who's bought them, paid for them, who's paying their vet subs, paying their bills, paying their insurance premiums, and caring for them as part of their family? Isn't that, well, rather irresponsible for starters?

Maybe I've mis-understood.

You’ll never get rid of fleas if it pops back to her house or mixes occasionally with her 20 cats!

Take her to a different vet, do you know her name call her a different one.get the flea treatment hoover everywhere steam all cracks ans furniture was everything on warm. Leave little bowls of water with a fake night light next to it. You would be surprised by home many you kill. Can you bath her is she gentle? Washed her with fleas shampoo and comb them out.

Just treat the cat with vet flea treatment the cheap other stuff does not work, treat your house and just carry on as you were with cat living at yours, she sounds like she has too many anyway and didn't really notice that one had gone walkabout.