AIBU to think this is really odd? Neighbour’s cat has lived with us for 10 months and now she’s furious.

[TheFastMauveWasp]

Trying to work out if I’m missing something.

Our neighbour has 20+ animals. One of their cats started coming to us about 10 months ago. She was really skinny when she first started coming over and absolutely riddled with fleas. We started feeding her because she looked hungry and the neighbour had previously said it was fine if the cats came round.
Fast forward and she’s basically lived here ever since. I don’t mean she visits for meals. I mean day and night. Sleeps here, follows us round, is with us all the time. She’s become incredibly attached to us and my children adore her.

The downside is she brought a horrendous flea infestation with her. Our house has been absolutely crawling despite repeated treatments. I’ve spent a fortune trying to sort it. I even rang the vet to ask what the options were and they said they could prescribe treatment, but obviously she’s not registered to us.

So I went to the neighbour and said, look, if the answer’s no then just tell me straight away, I completely understand, but would you consider letting us take ownership so we can get her treated properly?

She became really hostile. She said “they’re mine”, “I didn’t think you’d feed them”, “my other animals don’t have fleas” and “I can’t get near her to flea her because she’s always at yours.”

I also said the cat is covered in fleas, our house is covered in fleas and she’s ended up sleeping outside for the last week because we can’t let her in while trying to get on top of the infestation. I appreciate she may well have felt criticised by that. Equally… those are the reasons I was having the conversation in the first place.

What I can’t get my head round is this: if this is really her cat, why has she never once looked for her in 8 months? Never knocked, never asked where she was, never seemed remotely bothered until I asked about ownership.

I wasn’t demanding the cat. I specifically said I’d accept a no. I just thought after us feeding her for months, dealing with the fleas and caring for her, there might at least be a conversation.
Instead I just got hostility.

AIBU to think the reaction was bizarre? Or can people genuinely be that defensive when they feel criticised… not one word about the wellbeing of the cat!

I get flea, tick and worm treatments from amazon for the 7 ferals and strays that I have in my garden and house. One sign of any and they all get treated the same day.

Go to pets at home and ask for Advantage flea treatment. You don’t need a vet for it and it’s bloody brilliant.

Are you sure the cat hasn't been going home too? It would explain why you can't get rid of the fleas because she'd just keep picking them back up again?

Poor cat. You need indorex spray for the house - it's the only thing I've found that really works

I took my mum's cat to the vet because she was riddled with fleas. Just said my mum was on an extended holiday and she was staying with me. They weren't fussed about the address not matching. They gave her bravecto and advised me to spray the house with indorex. It worked a treat. I'd been killing myself with over the counter solutions and flea baths etc. I think those might have worked if the house hadn't already been utterly infested by the time I realised what the problem was (my mum thought she didn't have fleas!).

But yeah, vet strength treatment, clean everything soft, carpets, linens, curtains, sofas, wipe down skirting boards etc then indorex everywhere.

A few summers ago we had a flea issue. Had to vacuum the house every day put the fluff straight into the outside bin. Washed the carpets, sprayed the sofa and armchair. The cat was treated first. It was a ball ache.

I'd speak to the cats protection league about the number of animals in the woman's house.

This is a mess of your own doing I’m afraid.
a neighbour has 20 plus animals and one comes to you skinny and riddled with fleas? Why didn’t you call the RSPCA? no wonder you have an infestation you can’t get rid of. Sorry you’re in this situation but this is just a silly decision to me.

I'm sorry but I think you're being very unfair on the Op. This wasn't a well cared for cat. It was skinny and flea-ridden and the Op showed it compassion and has treated it well. The neighbour hasn't seen it for months, hasn't once enquired after it and only now seems bothered. For the life of me, I don't understand how the neighbour is managing to provide adequate care for 20+ animals. The probability is that some, if not all, are also neglected.

Edited for typo

Vets DO scan for microchips. I've been using my vet for 15 years and he still routinely scans my animals, which makes me feel a bit sniffy, but I know he's just being conscientious.

Yours might but many don’t bother.

I might try talking to her again with a different approach. Say you’re really sorry, you got off on the wrong foot, you fully appreciate now that she hasn’t been able to treat the cat (obviously this is nonsense, as you say, why didn’t she come looking for the cat ever.) Say cats are peculiar in their ways but she has just taken a liking to you and your children and wants to come in all the time, and the kids love her, so Is there any chance you could take ownership, if you’re in a financial position to do so, offer to pay for her if you think she’s someone who might be swayed by that. I’d just desperately want to get her away from someone who is clearly not looking after her properly and be able to care for her without any subterfuge.

The cat was a bag of bones when she first came. She’s incredibly fluffy so this wasn’t immediately noticeable but when we realised I checked in with the neighbour that it was ok she was with us. Neighbour confirmed fine. The cat is very timid and we figured that she probably doesn’t do well with the dozens of dogs, cats, rabbits, snakes etc.

She recently got a Bengal who aren’t outdoor cats and it was let out and got run over after a month or two. This may sound a bit cowardly but these are quite hostile people who have had police outside a few times, slashed tyres etc and I’m worried to report - it would be so obviously me and I have very young children and no man in the house so feel a bit vulnerable!

How about going back to her & apologizing (through gritted teeth if need be) and say you & your children have fallen in love with the cat & would really love to buy her from you & offer her maybe £100 cash?

Do you need a vet to treat the cat for fleas? If not I would just treat it and take ownership.
i couldn’t allow it to keep coming to the house with fleas.

this is a really good idea. Apologise profusely and just say it’s because you are all so attached to the cat.
Then ask her to reconsider your request to rehome the cat and offer payment to cover her costs.
Maybe a kind note would work better and avoid any potential confrontation.

This is a really good idea. Thank you!

A microchip is not actually proof of ownership, which is totally bonkers but if there was a dispute and you produced pictures of how she looked before, bills of medical treatment, food etc then she would be on very shaky ground.
Are you sure she’s actually chipped or is the lady just telling you she is?
In your shoes I would check she is chipped and the chip is registered.
Next I would use a spot in flea treatment called Advantage rather then frontline, you can buy it online without a prescription. She will also need to be dewormed as fleas can carry the tapeworm egg, so if she’s been crawling with fleas then she’ll have worms.
You can get a spray called indorex flea spray for house, you need to do hard floor edges, bathroom hard floors and your car as you could be transporting eggs back and forth on clothing and shoes
Hoover as much as you can as the heat and vibrations encourage the eggs to hatch so you can clear through the cycle quicker.
You’ll probably need 2 tins of indorex to do your entire house, good luck!

Is the cat microchipped and is the microchip registered to your neighbour? I'm assuming so, but if not then maybe you could microchip it and/or register it to you.

I looked up the law on cat ownership when we adopted a couple of cats from a potentially questionable source. Basically legal ownership of a cat is not necessarily clear-cut. There seem to be 3 main things that are taken into account if it's disputed (which doesn't actually happen very often).

1. Paper trail (e.g. adoption or purchase documents, or even an informal email saying that you are adopting or keeping the cat). So if you buy the cat, send the neighbour an email or text mentioning that fact ("thanks so much for letting us adopt little Tibbles! we're so happy to have her officially part of our family now!)

1. Who has habitually paid for the upkeep of the cat - food and vet bills etc

1. The registered keeper name on the microchip. Interestingly, the 2023 law (which makes it compulsory to microchip cats) says that it's the KEEPER of the cat whose name needs to be on the microchip database. NOT the owner. The microchip should be registered to the person who the cat actually lives with. The law is very specific on that point. So theoretically you should be able to contact the microchip database which the cat is registered with, and ask for the microchip registration to be transferred into your name. Because you are now the keeper of the cat and this is actually the law. Obviously this may not go smoothly. For a start, you need the microchip number and you need to know which database it's registered on (there are not that many, so you could try them all). More to the point, the microchip database will contact the previous keeper - presumably your neighbour - and they have got a certain amount of time to object and stop the process. So a lot would depend on whether or not your neighbour has her contact details up to date, how organised she is, and how much you mind pissing her off. Legally you would probably be in the right, but proving that and making it happen may be difficult. However, your neighbours sound quite chaotic and it sounds possible that the cat either isn't microchipped, or is still registered to whoever the neighbours got it from. Which might be good news for you.

@TheFastMauveWasp TheFastMauveWasp

We also adopted a cat with a flea infestation and had trouble with fleas in the house.

We managed to get rid of all the fleas in the house, and on the cat, but it does take daily commitment, but it's worth it, and really feel there are no short cuts.

This is what we did:

• Used a Frontline flea treatment, the one we purchase is behind the counter at Jolly's.
• I combed our cat for at least an hour every day, and preferably more. This can be broken up through the day, but I cannot stress how important this is when there is an infestation. I combed our cat whilst watching TV in the evening and at any other time possible during the day. Have tissues and a bag ready to catch fleas when combing. Combing not only helps remove fleas, it also removes eggs, and prevents the infestation growing. I cannot stress how important this is.
• Vacuum every day, everywhere. Purchase a decent spray for your home. We purchased ours from the vet. Let the cat out, spray carpets etc, then go out yourself. Keep doing this all over the house.
• I do NOT recommend the 'bombs', they are highly toxic! You don't want those when you have kids, or for your cat or yourselves.
• Wash mats etc that can be washed, very frequently.

If you follow these instructions, you WILL get rid of the fleas, but you have to be persistent and keep at it.

Good luck!

You need to treat the cat or the fleas wil just come back. You might want to bathe her first to get the worst of it off her, then treat. Then do the house. I've read that steam cleaning is good to kill them (the fleas) when they're in furniture. The cat has chosen you, but the owner isn't ready to accept it yet. If she's riddled she will need the proper vet stuff though so you need to work with the owner somehow.

Just buy a Credelio tablet online, stick it in some tuna. That's the fleas gone! So much better than spot on treatments, I've got two days, not seen a flea for years.

You'll need Indorex for your house to.

This
if she agrees I would try and get it on record.

Also only pay her once the chip has been transfered to you so you will need to know what company the chip / cat is recorded on also there is usuarly a small fee for transfer.

Sorry if I missed it but are you sure it has a chip ?
Or did she just say to you it has?
Or was it the vets responce when you told them its not yours initially.
If the latter you could take to another vets a bit further away.

You could either get a scanner from Amerzon to double check ( £20;) and / or take cat to vets to get treated say uou think its a stray that you feed as it doesn't seem to belong to anyone

Again sorry if i have missed any info you already said.

20 animals ?? What has she got ? Think you could have handled it a bit more sensitively as she feels aggrieved hence her reaction. Thank God you are helping the poor mite. It needs sorting as she’s certainly not going to have the cat back in her house flea ridden

Flea comb from Amazon. Our cat was crawling and the only thing that worked was a flea bath then combing them once a day. Try frontline plus you don’t need a vet for that. Also indorex spray is great for carpets and furniture. Also we have these sticky flea traps. Finally got on top of it now.

In retrospect I could definitely have handled it more sensitively. I mistakenly thought that if I presented it as a problem which I’d be happy to pay for and fix then it might appeal to her.

I don’t know for sure she has a microchip but I heard from another neighbour that the cat was once found on an industrial estate miles away (had jumped into a boot and travelled) and been returned to her in a very poor state. I feel very sorry for this cat!