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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect my driveway to be clear of neighbours' things?

72 replies

BePinkPeer · Yesterday 13:53

I need the advice of mumsnet on this one, sorry if it's a bit long.
The other day I came home and as I drove onto my driveway I heard an almighty metallic clunk. Slightly panicked I jumped out to see what I'd driven over - the neighbour's kid scooter was left abandonded on my driveway. The neighbour came up and said "Oh, it's (her) DS's scooter", picked it up and said it's ok, the scooter is actually not damaged. I was quite annoyed at this and said I was more worried about my car getting damaged to which she said, your car is fine. And she walked off. I'm not one to choose confrontation, and as the car was in fact fine I just let it go. The next day her husband approached me saying he has a little problem and went on for about 5 minutes at me saying things like "Now can we be all grown up about this. Grown ups come and apologise when they damage something". Turned out the scooter was in fact broken by the car (how was I to know that, I'm not sure). That patronising tone really annoyed me, especially as I'm at least 10 years older than him. He went on how I was only interested in my car and didn't check if the scooter was ok (is that so strange? potential £££ of damages to a vehicle over £50 toy? also, wife said the scooter was fine!) He completely didn't see my point that this is my driveway and I should be able to expect it clear of any objects and the kid simply shouldn't have left it there. I am still seething at his audacity to try and put it on me. Our driveways join up and there is no clear kerb to mark the border of one and the other, however it is clear that what's in front of my garage to the right is mine, what's in front of his and to the left is his. The scooter wasn't even by the garage, it was half way up to my front door.
He said they were in a rush to get home after the kid got a bloody lip in a park and they needed to patch it up. The thing is their front door is before the driveway, so why did it need to be left there? The kids are not tiny btw, they are 7 and 9. And also, how is this even relevant, I'm not a fortune teller and couldn't know that was what happened before I reached my driveway.
Unfortunately the way the estate is designed I don't actually have a clear view of my driveway when I get on it. It is also partly their fault because they park two cars on their side and partly obscure the view. But now I'm not sure what to do, do I need to get out of my car every time I arrive to check the driveway is clear? Would you say this is normal neighbourly thing to expect things to make their way onto my driveway? Or is it safe for me to keep driving as I was and they ABU to expect me to look out for their stuff on my driveway?

OP posts:
mbosnz · Yesterday 14:34

I'd suggest to them that this makes it abundantly clear that they should make very sure not to leave items on someone else's driveway, otherwise they're likely to get damaged. To avoid future mishaps, perhaps they could stay the hell off your property?

HelenaWilson · Yesterday 14:35

Sitting playing tea parties with their cuddly toys?
Drawing with chalk.

If they're young enough to be playing tea parties with cuddly toys, they're too young to be playing unsupervised somewhere there might be moving vehicles. And they shouldn't be drawing with chalk on someone else's property.

FunnyOrca · Yesterday 14:35

YABU to be driving onto a drive that you can’t see??????

But YANBU to think the man coming over was a twat and that it is not your fault the scooter got damaged.

EDIT: to add, I would definitely be looking into how to separate the driveways. Your situation sounds like a nightmare. I think you would add property value to both houses.

Dollymylove · Yesterday 14:36

We need a diagram

Lindy2 · Yesterday 14:41

We need a diagram.

The scooter shouldn't have been left on your drive.

You need to look where you are driving. If there was a person on the drive would you have not been able to see them? I'm confused about the layout.

Can you mark a clear boundary separating the driveways?

Move anything off your driveway that they leave there and place it back on to their side.

If they mention it again say unfortunately if toys are left out unexpectedly on your driveway there's a risk they could be damaged so please ensure that they stay off your property from now on. Don't apologise and don't explain any further. You don't need to.

Balloonhearts · Yesterday 14:43

"It was on my property, as are you, and I couldn't give a shit what condition either of you leave in. Fuck off."

Anything further on the driveway, I'd skip. Straight in the nearest bin. Should teach them to keep better track of their belongings.

NameChangeAgain48 · Yesterday 14:44

I think its 6 of one and 1/2 a dozen of another. Thet shouldn't leave their shit in your drive. You need to look properly before you drive. Id be more irritated with thd tone than anything. CF talking about grown ups. Grown ups supervise their kids and approach others without being condescending dickheads.

Viviennemary · Yesterday 14:45

Why didn't you see a scooter. It might have been a cat you ran over. But I dont think you are liable to pay for a new scooter.

beefthief · Yesterday 14:46

You are being unreasonable for not using paragraph breaks. And for not looking where you were driving.

Friendlygingercat · Yesterday 14:47

I like the suggestion from @GreenFootstool to divide the drives in some way with a wall or fence. Any neighbour who speaks to me in a patronising manner gets my teacher v naughty child voice.

A good neighbour is a dead one.

Darragon · Yesterday 14:50

HelenaWilson · Yesterday 14:35

Sitting playing tea parties with their cuddly toys?
Drawing with chalk.

If they're young enough to be playing tea parties with cuddly toys, they're too young to be playing unsupervised somewhere there might be moving vehicles. And they shouldn't be drawing with chalk on someone else's property.

Yes but we all know these things can and do happen anyway, regardless of whether you can stand next to a dead child after running them over and go "well they should have been supervised".
FFS.
OP shouldn't be driving into places she can't see and neither should you, since you've posted twice now doubling down on this.

MalcomVexx · Yesterday 14:50

I think his wife has told him a variation of the story once he’s asked why the scooter is broken. I would ignore everything and if they speak to you about it again tell them that you don’t appreciate being spoken to in that manner when the fault sits with them for leaving it in an obvious blind spot (most drivers understand how a scooter on the floor is in a blindspot and if they can’t, ignore them, they’re clearly stupid or trolling) and it was confirmed as ok before you parted ways and you will not be replacing or repairing. You may create an atmosphere but it’s because they’re unreasonable.

Harrietsaunt · Yesterday 14:51

I think I need a diagram

Xkk · Yesterday 14:52

BePinkPeer · Yesterday 13:53

I need the advice of mumsnet on this one, sorry if it's a bit long.
The other day I came home and as I drove onto my driveway I heard an almighty metallic clunk. Slightly panicked I jumped out to see what I'd driven over - the neighbour's kid scooter was left abandonded on my driveway. The neighbour came up and said "Oh, it's (her) DS's scooter", picked it up and said it's ok, the scooter is actually not damaged. I was quite annoyed at this and said I was more worried about my car getting damaged to which she said, your car is fine. And she walked off. I'm not one to choose confrontation, and as the car was in fact fine I just let it go. The next day her husband approached me saying he has a little problem and went on for about 5 minutes at me saying things like "Now can we be all grown up about this. Grown ups come and apologise when they damage something". Turned out the scooter was in fact broken by the car (how was I to know that, I'm not sure). That patronising tone really annoyed me, especially as I'm at least 10 years older than him. He went on how I was only interested in my car and didn't check if the scooter was ok (is that so strange? potential £££ of damages to a vehicle over £50 toy? also, wife said the scooter was fine!) He completely didn't see my point that this is my driveway and I should be able to expect it clear of any objects and the kid simply shouldn't have left it there. I am still seething at his audacity to try and put it on me. Our driveways join up and there is no clear kerb to mark the border of one and the other, however it is clear that what's in front of my garage to the right is mine, what's in front of his and to the left is his. The scooter wasn't even by the garage, it was half way up to my front door.
He said they were in a rush to get home after the kid got a bloody lip in a park and they needed to patch it up. The thing is their front door is before the driveway, so why did it need to be left there? The kids are not tiny btw, they are 7 and 9. And also, how is this even relevant, I'm not a fortune teller and couldn't know that was what happened before I reached my driveway.
Unfortunately the way the estate is designed I don't actually have a clear view of my driveway when I get on it. It is also partly their fault because they park two cars on their side and partly obscure the view. But now I'm not sure what to do, do I need to get out of my car every time I arrive to check the driveway is clear? Would you say this is normal neighbourly thing to expect things to make their way onto my driveway? Or is it safe for me to keep driving as I was and they ABU to expect me to look out for their stuff on my driveway?

What is screaming at me is not the scooter left on driveway, is the fact that your drove over an object and did not see it. You are driver you are responsable to see at all times where you drive. Anyone saying "why a child would be there" that is not the point. It doesen't matter. You have to make sure your path is clear of hazards at all times, you can be driving in your living room doesen't matter. Leave it at that with the neigbours and reflect on what happened, this time it was a scooter next time might be someone's pet or worse.

Sartre · Yesterday 14:53

Darragon · Yesterday 14:50

Yes but we all know these things can and do happen anyway, regardless of whether you can stand next to a dead child after running them over and go "well they should have been supervised".
FFS.
OP shouldn't be driving into places she can't see and neither should you, since you've posted twice now doubling down on this.

Show quote history

Agree with this yes. We have our own driveway but my DC do sometimes draw with chalk on it or run their scooters/bikes up and down it as her child may well do hence the scooter being left there…

Rothburypixie · Yesterday 14:54

They are idiots. If my child's scooter had gotten damaged I’d have told them that they shouldn’t have left it in your driveway.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · Yesterday 14:54

I’d be questioning why they’re letting/instructing their children to play on other people’s drives.

Lazy parenting. Take them to the park! Those poor children.

SallyD00lally · Yesterday 14:54

HelenaWilson · Yesterday 14:35

Sitting playing tea parties with their cuddly toys?
Drawing with chalk.

If they're young enough to be playing tea parties with cuddly toys, they're too young to be playing unsupervised somewhere there might be moving vehicles. And they shouldn't be drawing with chalk on someone else's property.

Well yes quite.

YOU know that, the PP knows that and I know that.

Infact, every single adult reading this thread will know that.

But the point is, those things COULD still happen and when you're in charge of a massive moving metal machine, you need to be able to see where you're driving.

"Sorry officer but the kid shouldn't have been chalking my driveway, that's why I killed them".

Really doesn't cut it, does it?

Ceramiq · Yesterday 14:58

I'd ask Claude about this and get it to draft a letter to your neighbours outlining the legal position and responsibilities of both parties.

WearyAuldWumman · Yesterday 15:00

MalcomVexx · Yesterday 14:50

I think his wife has told him a variation of the story once he’s asked why the scooter is broken. I would ignore everything and if they speak to you about it again tell them that you don’t appreciate being spoken to in that manner when the fault sits with them for leaving it in an obvious blind spot (most drivers understand how a scooter on the floor is in a blindspot and if they can’t, ignore them, they’re clearly stupid or trolling) and it was confirmed as ok before you parted ways and you will not be replacing or repairing. You may create an atmosphere but it’s because they’re unreasonable.

Thank you for saying this.

Of course people look but - yes - depending on the way the drive slopes there can well be a blind spot.

I do look out for cats, birds, etc, and reverse in slowly but there's always the possibility of a mishap since it's below a certain level.

ETA Kids round our way have a bad habit of thrown down their (often expensive) bikes and scooters so that they're lying flat.

I've seen instances of folk tripping over bikes or scooters that have been left lying flat in front of the door of the local shop.

Rondayvu · Yesterday 15:04

I like diagrams so I too would like one, that said YOUR drive is not where any childs toys should be and had the scooter damaged the car in some way would the neighbours be handing over wads of cash for say a new exhaust pipe or paintwork? I think not. Also if the child gets hurt on your property then they can claim off your house insurance so child needs to use own property from now on.

ScribblingPixie · Yesterday 15:08

Two things. One your neighbour being unreasonable. Two you really need to find a way to be able to see your drive when you're backing onto it, especially as there's no barrier to keep next door's kids off it. I would treat this is a big warning.

Ceramiq · Yesterday 15:08

There is absolutely no way that the neighbour is in the right here because the neighbour should never abandon their personal possessions on your driveway.

WallaceinAnderland · Yesterday 15:12

It's the driver's responsibility to make sure they can see where they are driving.

I don't think you should worry about the scooter, that's a lesson learned for them. But driving over something you didn't see on your driveway is a lesson learned for you.

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