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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to consider reporting someone I believe is committing benefit fraud?

177 replies

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 00:11

Would you report someone for benefit fraud?

Just that. It’s someone I used to know quite well but drifted apart from mainly due to this and from time to time I feel angry that they have made a living out of coning the system and quite often people around them. They claim they can’t walk or leave the house but go to at least 6 countries a year and do a mix of sports regularly they post online.

It hits a nerve as a lot of my family members are genuinely disabled and have struggled to get the right support. This person doesn’t have to pay council tax has every benefit you can think of and will literally use a wheelchair whenever their pip stops then go back to the sports and hiking holidays they do regular whilst claiming they can’t work and they even have been awarded carers to come in and help them. I’ve known this person for nearly 2 decades and they started this in their teens and would often brag about it and how to do it and even helped other friends at the time get awarded benefits so it’s not a case I don’t know them enough to know it’s bullshit. I always thought they would grow out of it as their life progressed.

I don’t think I actually will mainly because I’m so worried they would guess it was me and they are known to be very vindictive such as reporting people to social services or emailing job places to try ‘ ruin people ‘but I guess I’d like to vent as myself and so many people work their socks off to break even each month.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:18

RudolphTheReindeer · Yesterday 11:02

People absolutely can get this care. It's not always easy but it is possible.

I would love to know how as it was flat out refused and she was sent numbers to hire a cleaner

Badbadbunny · Yesterday 11:20

Yes, you should report. I've reported both benefit fraud and tax evasion a few times. Give as many facts and as much detail as possible. Preferably send screen shots of their social media posts.

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:20

Hamela · Yesterday 11:16

Op. If you are not her doctor/consultant, nor the DWP staff member dealing with her, keep your nose out.

Love to know what a doctor thinks of someone who can’t leave the house or walk more than a few steps unaided needs walking aids but can swing round a pole every week and do fuckitn trapeze inbetween her mountain climbing 😆

OP posts:
bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:22

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:01

Last time it was cut she was worried how she would afford her skinny jabs and personal trainer not her bills.

Again how long ago was this as the jabs have only been out a couple years and you havent been friends for years and you said the last cut was years ago?
Every time you post it sounds like utter crap honestly. You are obsessed and gossiping about someone you haven't seen in years so its all hearsay.

Justanopinionnothingmore · Yesterday 11:23

Do it.

Housebashing · Yesterday 11:24

Badbadbunny · Yesterday 11:20

Yes, you should report. I've reported both benefit fraud and tax evasion a few times. Give as many facts and as much detail as possible. Preferably send screen shots of their social media posts.

Did anything come of it?
Did you get a lovely warm fuzzy feeling?

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:25

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:22

Again how long ago was this as the jabs have only been out a couple years and you havent been friends for years and you said the last cut was years ago?
Every time you post it sounds like utter crap honestly. You are obsessed and gossiping about someone you haven't seen in years so its all hearsay.

Again I have tried to be vague to not make this outing. I don’t get how that’s hard to grasp.

OP posts:
Housebashing · Yesterday 11:25

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:18

I would love to know how as it was flat out refused and she was sent numbers to hire a cleaner

They will resist as hard as possible to provide any care
There are also some carers who will be booked for two hours come and do 10 minutes of personal care cause that’s all that’s required and then decide rather than rip the customer off they’ll run the hoover around or put a load of washing on
But there are as equally many carers who will just walk out after the 10 minutes and feel no remorse for charging for the full two hours

GoneWithTHeWindJammers · Yesterday 11:28

I don't think it is healthy to become too obsessed with what another has or is getting. Don't let them live rent-free in your head, I was once told.

Blackwidowsbite · Yesterday 11:29

Housebashing · Yesterday 11:24

Did anything come of it?
Did you get a lovely warm fuzzy feeling?

Honestly I don’t get why people do this? Just keep out of it, if they are committing these crimes then karma will catch up to them, whose business is it to do this to people and interfere with their life and finances unless they have hard evidence of the crime. It’s always on suspicions or because they think they are.

Hamela · Yesterday 11:31

Op, you're bitter and angry about it, which can't be good for your health, ironically. Social media is a curse, just delete her and enjoy your one-time-only life on this earth. Are you jealous? If so, fill your life with more good stuff so the feeling goes away. Much healthier.

Truly, I speak with knowledge, getting those benefits and, even further,being entitled to carers is NOT easy to obtain, there's no budget for it in the UK any more, she couldn't fully hoodwink everyone involved in that long arduous process. They ration care packages out like the final grains of rice in the apocalypse

Anger begets anger, stress begets stress. I bet she gives you precisely zero thoughts... and yet she's completely filling your head. Let it go.

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:35

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:25

Again I have tried to be vague to not make this outing. I don’t get how that’s hard to grasp.

Of course you have, trying to be vague when it suits. Its hard to grasp because its utter crap. When someone makes sense you dont need to 'grasp' it. How would she be home to receive all the care in between the millions of holidays, all the hobbies and personal training? You are just spilling out whatever you think will make people froth about benefits and I should honestly stop responding so it doesnt keep bumping this.

But if this is real, maybe get a hobby, your friend sounds like she has a bunch and probably zero time to obsess over others lives, maybe try that. If you were mountain climbing or swinging round a pole like she is, you wouldn't have time to be downloading all your second hand info from her so called friends or be stalking her social media.

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:38

Housebashing · Yesterday 11:25

They will resist as hard as possible to provide any care
There are also some carers who will be booked for two hours come and do 10 minutes of personal care cause that’s all that’s required and then decide rather than rip the customer off they’ll run the hoover around or put a load of washing on
But there are as equally many carers who will just walk out after the 10 minutes and feel no remorse for charging for the full two hours

When they came in they essentially refused to help with anything but personal care and then the care coordinator or whoever it was, spoke to her and said we can only do personal care and gave her numbers for cleaners and said you will need to hire someone. They said carers cant be used for household tasks or cleaning.
And you are right it was a hard battle to even get those carers in

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:40

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:35

Of course you have, trying to be vague when it suits. Its hard to grasp because its utter crap. When someone makes sense you dont need to 'grasp' it. How would she be home to receive all the care in between the millions of holidays, all the hobbies and personal training? You are just spilling out whatever you think will make people froth about benefits and I should honestly stop responding so it doesnt keep bumping this.

But if this is real, maybe get a hobby, your friend sounds like she has a bunch and probably zero time to obsess over others lives, maybe try that. If you were mountain climbing or swinging round a pole like she is, you wouldn't have time to be downloading all your second hand info from her so called friends or be stalking her social media.

You’re right, let me just tell my mum
whos actually wheelchair and home bound that if she really wants to she can go mountain climbing it’s all in the mind right. Lol

OP posts:
bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:43

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:40

You’re right, let me just tell my mum
whos actually wheelchair and home bound that if she really wants to she can go mountain climbing it’s all in the mind right. Lol

Im not talking about your mum, im talking about you! You are the one obsessed and you are the one that clearly needs hobbies.

And sweetheart you are actually talking to a mostly housebound wheelchair user here, so I know exactly what it is like to struggle with health and be completely trapped by it. What does you being obsessed with this person's health have to do with your mother or was I meant to instantly feel awful because you happen to know a wheelchair user?

kirinm · Yesterday 11:46

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 10:11

I do not have bad feelings towards disabled people my mother is disabled.

I really hoped someone else would be able to share being in a similar situation as not my monkeys not my circus has been what I thought for a long time.

You’ve not been friends with her for years but you sure do know a lot about her.

Housebashing · Yesterday 11:53

Blackwidowsbite · Yesterday 11:29

Honestly I don’t get why people do this? Just keep out of it, if they are committing these crimes then karma will catch up to them, whose business is it to do this to people and interfere with their life and finances unless they have hard evidence of the crime. It’s always on suspicions or because they think they are.

It wastes so much taxpayers money because when they get these calls through, they have to document them and take time out of their day. To Be seemed to be doing something.
Same with social services
The reality of it is anybody that they are going to catch for benefit fraud or tax evasion they’re on to anyway. They don’t need lamb chops like this one carrying on with their photos of ringing doorbells and social media posts up mountains.

caringcarer · Yesterday 11:59

There was a woman a few months ago who claimed not to be able to walk or leave the house but she put online she had just completed on a marathon. Her claim was stopped and she supposedly has to repay the money from her benefits. She will never pay it back as it was over £10k. If you report your ex friend anonymously she won't know who reported her or if DWP just did a spot check. They look through things posted online. They will do full investigation. They even have undercover people who film them out of house doing sports.

caringcarer · Yesterday 12:00

There was a woman a few months ago who claimed not to be able to walk or leave the house but she put online she had just completed on a marathon. Her claim was stopped and she supposedly has to repay the money from her benefits. She will never pay it back as it was over £10k. If you report your ex friend anonymously she won't know who reported her or if DWP just did a spot check. They look through things posted online. They will do full investigation. They even have undercover people who film them out of house doing sports.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · Yesterday 12:12

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 09:58

Again I’ve tried to be somewhat vague.

The situation was she was told she was no longer eligible and in the process of disputing that, she started to have falls she never did and have these all on camera and have the use of a wheelchair she never did that after it was granted again, she never used. Nor was there anymore falls it just happened all in the space of like a month and then that was that.

So it was hard not to feel this was bullshit a lot of it felt staged. She would send me all of these photos and videos and it didn’t feel genuine. I have worked as carer and have family members with disabilities. I am not saying nothitn is wrong with her, but I feel it is greatly embellished and suspect fictions disorder and it seems she’s now doing the same with her child, which did result in an investigation with a family member thinking she had the condition that gypsy roses mother had. I can’t spell lol but at the time I thought it was ridiculous but the more time that went by I could understand why they could think that.

say you had a family member for example who had a child in primary school that was mostly still using nappies because they claimed toileting them was too hard for them to do, yet they could do many activities and sports a week along with regular events and gig nights, would you think mmm they probably could use that energy to sort that? It got to the point I couldn’t witness or hear about it anymore. An I will bet their child will now have many diagnoses and the cycle continues.

Im not on their socials but as we have mutual friends I see a lot of posts from sports to dinner parties she hosts or traveling holidays etc and I think judging by the poll many people see stuff like this but its taboo to ever question it. I know many people on benefits for disabilities that I wouldn’t give a second thought to it’s nothing to do with the benefits itself.

I believe you, but I also think it would be hard for you to prove if she has medical evidence to support her case.

I have a relative whom I can't prove is making stuff up, but whenever money is tight or they no longer want to work they suddenly develop illnesses that are often diagnoses of exclusion where there's no singular test that can disprove illness. All her symptoms seem to manifest usually at work, after she's spent weeks moaning about how she's fed up with the job and just wishes she could quit but she's got no money and how it's not fair that she has to pay for her car when those benefit scroungers get their cars for free.

The issue is that you're up against a paper trail of evidence for illnesses that are not consistent, and when they decide to give you an award they look at the evidence and then read what you've put and they make a judgement based on whether what you've written is plausible with the evidence you've provided.

I can't disprove my relative has FND for example, although she's here most days and never has any symptoms, because she isn't here all day most days and it's when she's not here that she says she experiences them.

At the same time my FIL is very open about the fact he needs to make a doctor's appointment regularly to complain about the side effects of the medication they prescribed him last time having such adverse effects, despite the boxes being unopened in his cupboard, and how he needs to ask for a referral to yet another specialist knowing they will say his case is too complex, simply to build the paper trail. He even marks them in his calendar ahead of time so it looks reasonable. I HAVE reported him, I've provided photo evidence and written statements, I've written to his GP, and he has been investigated but because the evidence outweighs what I am saying, like his manufactured memory issues and saying "oh I just forget that I've already got a box of XYZ, I need help managing my medication and nobody is helping me" it goes no further than a preliminary call.

I've been asked to help my BIL apply for PIP, who appears to need it, but I've asked for his supporting evidence so I can build the best case possible but he's fucked off to Uganda to see his girlfriend, where he appears to be disability free and his supporting evidence has not been forthcoming so I have categorically said no. Being disabled isn't an automatic entitlement to PIP, and if he can travel solo halfway across the planet and cook, clean, shower, eat and manage his time for weeks then he does not qualify and I feel his issues are exacerbated at home through learned helplessness.

The issue is that if you don't understand how these conditions manifest, you couldn't reasonably challenge it, and if you do understand how they manifest and it rings true, you may even change your mind about challenging it if you find out something you didn't know before.

As I said earlier, I am on benefits and I know that some people could look at me and not see my disabilities or how I am supported to look and feel as "normal" as possible, and them not see all of the work that goes into making normal every day outings and tasks possible for me, so I like to err on the side of caution because we can't possibly know everything about someone unless you're extremely close, but a lot of what you say rings true about my experiences with other people who are on or applying for benefits.

The fact is we're not owed anyone else's medical history, and it's jolly hard to prove fraud.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · Yesterday 12:12

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 09:58

Again I’ve tried to be somewhat vague.

The situation was she was told she was no longer eligible and in the process of disputing that, she started to have falls she never did and have these all on camera and have the use of a wheelchair she never did that after it was granted again, she never used. Nor was there anymore falls it just happened all in the space of like a month and then that was that.

So it was hard not to feel this was bullshit a lot of it felt staged. She would send me all of these photos and videos and it didn’t feel genuine. I have worked as carer and have family members with disabilities. I am not saying nothitn is wrong with her, but I feel it is greatly embellished and suspect fictions disorder and it seems she’s now doing the same with her child, which did result in an investigation with a family member thinking she had the condition that gypsy roses mother had. I can’t spell lol but at the time I thought it was ridiculous but the more time that went by I could understand why they could think that.

say you had a family member for example who had a child in primary school that was mostly still using nappies because they claimed toileting them was too hard for them to do, yet they could do many activities and sports a week along with regular events and gig nights, would you think mmm they probably could use that energy to sort that? It got to the point I couldn’t witness or hear about it anymore. An I will bet their child will now have many diagnoses and the cycle continues.

Im not on their socials but as we have mutual friends I see a lot of posts from sports to dinner parties she hosts or traveling holidays etc and I think judging by the poll many people see stuff like this but its taboo to ever question it. I know many people on benefits for disabilities that I wouldn’t give a second thought to it’s nothing to do with the benefits itself.

I believe you, but I also think it would be hard for you to prove if she has medical evidence to support her case.

I have a relative whom I can't prove is making stuff up, but whenever money is tight or they no longer want to work they suddenly develop illnesses that are often diagnoses of exclusion where there's no singular test that can disprove illness. All her symptoms seem to manifest usually at work, after she's spent weeks moaning about how she's fed up with the job and just wishes she could quit but she's got no money and how it's not fair that she has to pay for her car when those benefit scroungers get their cars for free.

The issue is that you're up against a paper trail of evidence for illnesses that are not consistent, and when they decide to give you an award they look at the evidence and then read what you've put and they make a judgement based on whether what you've written is plausible with the evidence you've provided.

I can't disprove my relative has FND for example, although she's here most days and never has any symptoms, because she isn't here all day most days and it's when she's not here that she says she experiences them.

At the same time my FIL is very open about the fact he needs to make a doctor's appointment regularly to complain about the side effects of the medication they prescribed him last time having such adverse effects, despite the boxes being unopened in his cupboard, and how he needs to ask for a referral to yet another specialist knowing they will say his case is too complex, simply to build the paper trail. He even marks them in his calendar ahead of time so it looks reasonable. I HAVE reported him, I've provided photo evidence and written statements, I've written to his GP, and he has been investigated but because the evidence outweighs what I am saying, like his manufactured memory issues and saying "oh I just forget that I've already got a box of XYZ, I need help managing my medication and nobody is helping me" it goes no further than a preliminary call.

I've been asked to help my BIL apply for PIP, who appears to need it, but I've asked for his supporting evidence so I can build the best case possible but he's fucked off to Uganda to see his girlfriend, where he appears to be disability free and his supporting evidence has not been forthcoming so I have categorically said no. Being disabled isn't an automatic entitlement to PIP, and if he can travel solo halfway across the planet and cook, clean, shower, eat and manage his time for weeks then he does not qualify and I feel his issues are exacerbated at home through learned helplessness.

The issue is that if you don't understand how these conditions manifest, you couldn't reasonably challenge it, and if you do understand how they manifest and it rings true, you may even change your mind about challenging it if you find out something you didn't know before.

As I said earlier, I am on benefits and I know that some people could look at me and not see my disabilities or how I am supported to look and feel as "normal" as possible, and them not see all of the work that goes into making normal every day outings and tasks possible for me, so I like to err on the side of caution because we can't possibly know everything about someone unless you're extremely close, but a lot of what you say rings true about my experiences with other people who are on or applying for benefits.

The fact is we're not owed anyone else's medical history, and it's jolly hard to prove fraud.

emuloc · Yesterday 13:22

Hereforadviceee · Yesterday 11:01

Last time it was cut she was worried how she would afford her skinny jabs and personal trainer not her bills.

I can't take this seriously, honestly you just add more, and more. Have a good day!

Port1aCastis · Yesterday 13:43

Never ceases to amaze me how much people know about so called friends finances. If the person has been claiming tor decades she has probably had serious checks on her benefit claims. Have you helped her fill in the forms for PIP or DLA benefits OP if so you'll realise how difficult they are to get.

PinkFrogss · Yesterday 13:51

So she has fooled presumably multiple doctors, carers, and people are the DWP for years and years?

What makes you think they all know less than you? It sounds like you don’t even know how the claiming process works

RudolphTheReindeer · Yesterday 13:55

bingbangwallop · Yesterday 11:18

I would love to know how as it was flat out refused and she was sent numbers to hire a cleaner

It often takes formal complaints, complaints to the ombudsman or legal action. Sounds like she was treated appallingly.

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