DD’s friends have absolutely destroyed my carpet.

[MyOwnBestFriend1989]

I don’t even know the point in posting this but DH is on a business trip and all my friends are probably watching the England match so have got no one to rant to.

my DD (12) had her friends over today and they went to B&M or wherever it was (honestly couldn’t care less at this point) and bought some of those stupid stress toys. They’re the ones filled with fluorescent, possibly radioactive, liquid and you squeeze them. when they came back they were instantly playing tug of war with them, jumping on them and just stretching them beyond their limits. I said, in no unclear terms, “if one of those pops and goes all over my carpet I’m going to hit the roof”. Obviously I got the whole “we’ll be careful!” reassurance, and please don’t ask me why I didn’t confiscate the toys off them because I honestly don’t know!

i was downstairs catching up on Eastenders and one of the girls comes down looking guilty and sheepish and disappears into the kitchen. She comes out clutching my Zoflora and I instantly ask her “what do you think you’re doing with that”, she claims the girls were “just making potions”. My response was “not with my Zoflora you’re not now what’s the real reason.” Cue her bursting into tears shouting “we didn’t mean to!”. My stomach dropped.

I’ve marched upstairs and there it is - a, what can only be described as marinated, ocean blue stain clearly smeared into my cream carpet. Not only that, there was also some scrunched up bits of toilet paper in it which had a faint blue tinge to it meaning they had obviously rubbed it in in an attempt to get it out.

i have to give myself credit for I didn’t scream or shout at the girls: I said “girls, you have half an hour to ring your parents and get them to collect you.” There were no arguments and rightly so.

it is now 11pm and I’m yet to receive an apology text from one of the parents - not that a “sorry” WhatsApp message will pay for my carpet to be professionally cleaned.

don’t know what the point is in posting this but just deflated to be honest. Unless of course anyone has any advice on how I can get this stain out or indeed on how to passive aggressively message the parents to imply that I do indeed want to be indemnified for a professional clean.

We have a patch called "George's patch " where a friend of dc's ruined the carpet. We are finally about to replace it but have positioned furniture over it for a couple of years. Never told his mum.

Like a PP says, you're annoyed that you let it happen. You should have made them go outside or put something protective down - you knew this was coming and did nothing to prevent it. You can't expect the other parents to pay, it was on your watch and your child is involved too

Only one parent knew they were being silly with those toys. You also have a turn of phrase that doesn't sound very pleasant to your DC's friends.

You knew what they were doing and let them continue doing it. Your DD was involved but you choose to blame the other DC in your care. It is time to start taking responsibility for your actions rather than trying to pass off blame to other people.

Incidentally op, the type of carpet can be relevant to staining. Pure wool is nice in texture but not so great for stain removal.

Id not think to psy you anything because you knew what was going on on and failed to take action

they have told their parent's a different version

in the morning ask if any of them have a carpet shampooer or any tips and see if they apologise

its collateral damage of having kids

sorry

Who in their right mind has a cream carpet in a hallway when you have a tweenage child ?

No sympathy from me.

I’m did managed to get that sort of stain out of my son’s white top so I am crossing my fingers for you. But carpet stains are the first attempt is the most important so best to call in a professional

So not zoflora and toilet tissue then ?😬

I reckon OP is pulling our leg. No one would admit to watching telly in the other room while the kids run amok and expect parents who aren’t even in the house to be responsible 😆

Nothing to do with their parents, they weren't there - you were. You saw the risks and didn't take the toys away. This is on you.

Am going against the general opinions here . A12 year old is not a toddler and old enough to take a certain responsibility for themselves! Yes Mum should have been more assertive and banned these toys but think loosing her shit was an acceptable response!

These poor girls it was an accident you saw coming and didn't prevent. You can get carpet cleaners in surely?

Echoing majority of people here... you are the responsible party here.

The other girls parents didn't know what they were doing. They knew their kids were at your house though so you should have been supervising them.

You were the only parent who knew they had these stupid gunky toys (that inevitably burst the day of purchase every single time). You knew they were upstairs playing with them. Your daughter was also partaking. You told them to go outside, they said no, you didn't say "Go outside or give me those toys til you leave".

Having a 12 yr old girl come down to try find some cleaning materials and having her cry in your house is pretty evident she was sorrowful and it was an accident.

Buy a rug and move on.

I think you have overreacted and cant expect the friends parents to pay. Its annoying but it was an accident and cant be helped. They apologised and tried to fix it but you still kicked them out. If i was their parent i wouldnt want them at your house again.

The issue here is that the girls - including your own DD - were too scared to come and ask for your help.

Accidents happen, especially with tweens and teens. Aside from the obvious insanity of having a cream carpet with DC in the house, if they weren’t so scared of you, the stain wouldn’t now have been rubbed into the carpet with toilet roll. They knew what your reaction would be which is why they were too scared to come and tell you. Even your own DD.

As a parent, I’d be mortified if I made another child cry because of accidental damage. And I certainly wouldn’t be sending them home - what an enormous overreaction.

You were well aware they were playing with the godawful toys. You knew the risk. When those things split, they ooze gunk instantly. It’s not something you can easily prevent spilling over the carpet - when they split, it goes everywhere. You should have insisted that they went outside - this is 100% on you.

As a 12 yr old I would have been too embarrassed to ever show my face at your house again. As a parent I wouldn’t want my child at your house. Carry on as you are and your DC is going to find no one wants to come to her house, or she’s going to be mocked at school.

Honestly astounded that you think you’re in the right here.

FFS there are some weird replies in this thread, the girls are 12 not 6, and frankly girls/boys of 12 should know better!

Yes maybe @MyOwnBestFriend1989 should have sent them outside or taken the object off them straightaway but they were told to behave & didn't.
Thats why one of the girls got tearful as she knew she'd done wrong.

You can bet your bottom dollar that the girls haven't told their parents the real reason why they had to be sent home.

Personally I would have told them off and rang all the parents myself.
Also if my daughter had been involved in an incident like this at a friends house I would have offered to chip in to help pay for the damage.

Some people really do baby their older children & then wonder why when they get to adulthood they are unable to adult!

Ignore all the people putting all the blame on you and listen to the ones supporting you & take the advice of the carpet cleaning tips.

I had a sleepover and one of the girls tried to clean our tv and broke it

we just took on the cost sadly.

I do however now say please don’t try and clean my tv!

I always marvel at the people that care more about their furnishings than their children

The other parents are not going to pay to clean your carpet, you should have taken the toys away. They’ll already unimpressed with you for sending their kids home over this, please don’t embarrass yourself further.

As your own daughter was taking part in the 'game' that ruined your carpet (and you knew about it and didn't put a stop to it immediately), I don't think you should expect the other parents to pay. It would be different if the other girls were doing something without your or your daughter's knowledge.

ETA: I'd be furious with them (and DD), of course, but just as angry with myself that I didn't confiscate the toys or send them outdoors if they wanted to continue to play with them. If you specifically forbade them to play with the toys and they continued, fine to send them home early, too, imo.

Your fault I'm afraid, you should have removed the toy or stood over them until they went outside. I don't say this unkindly, my child recently drew all over her bed with pens that I knew I shouldn't have let her keep playing with but felt too exhausted to argue about. We just have to learn from our mistakes. I'd get a carpet cleaner machine and then get DD to do the cleaning with it repeatedly as a learning point. I'd leave it with her friends, I think you've punished them enough.

Also, your message feels very full of stress. Are you stressed more widely? Perhaps you should evaluate whether the problem is actually the carpet or more that you are on the edge anyway with whatever other issues and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back, and why you reacted so harshly.

Better to get a professional in as they will know what to use. Some carpet cleaners will just set the stain.

And yet none of what anybody has said seems to have sunken in does it love.