DD’s friends have absolutely destroyed my carpet.

[MyOwnBestFriend1989]

I don’t even know the point in posting this but DH is on a business trip and all my friends are probably watching the England match so have got no one to rant to.

my DD (12) had her friends over today and they went to B&M or wherever it was (honestly couldn’t care less at this point) and bought some of those stupid stress toys. They’re the ones filled with fluorescent, possibly radioactive, liquid and you squeeze them. when they came back they were instantly playing tug of war with them, jumping on them and just stretching them beyond their limits. I said, in no unclear terms, “if one of those pops and goes all over my carpet I’m going to hit the roof”. Obviously I got the whole “we’ll be careful!” reassurance, and please don’t ask me why I didn’t confiscate the toys off them because I honestly don’t know!

i was downstairs catching up on Eastenders and one of the girls comes down looking guilty and sheepish and disappears into the kitchen. She comes out clutching my Zoflora and I instantly ask her “what do you think you’re doing with that”, she claims the girls were “just making potions”. My response was “not with my Zoflora you’re not now what’s the real reason.” Cue her bursting into tears shouting “we didn’t mean to!”. My stomach dropped.

I’ve marched upstairs and there it is - a, what can only be described as marinated, ocean blue stain clearly smeared into my cream carpet. Not only that, there was also some scrunched up bits of toilet paper in it which had a faint blue tinge to it meaning they had obviously rubbed it in in an attempt to get it out.

i have to give myself credit for I didn’t scream or shout at the girls: I said “girls, you have half an hour to ring your parents and get them to collect you.” There were no arguments and rightly so.

it is now 11pm and I’m yet to receive an apology text from one of the parents - not that a “sorry” WhatsApp message will pay for my carpet to be professionally cleaned.

don’t know what the point is in posting this but just deflated to be honest. Unless of course anyone has any advice on how I can get this stain out or indeed on how to passive aggressively message the parents to imply that I do indeed want to be indemnified for a professional clean.

“Absolutely destroyed” seems a bit OTT for a carpet that realistically needs a good clean.

Your daughter was part of this, so not sure why you are blaming the other girls. Do you really want to cause a fall out with dd's friends parents because if you pursue this, she wont be invited over ro their places, I'd be willing to bet on it. And finally is this really a battle worth taking on, I know you are angry about the carpet but they are kids who behaved like kids. This is minor in the grand scheme of things, trust me I know. I'm a bereaved mom and honestly, you'll be able to sort the carpet, you'll be more assertive next time but that's the beauty. There is a next time. Also,,carpet wise... I use a product called Dr Beckmann stain remover, its quite good.

I have the England match on but....

I have a missing part of the ceiling because of those ruddy things..

One of the girls on a play date threw them up to the ceiling.... Which brought clumps down...

I gave off.... She hasn't been back.... But .... I am one of those mums were kids are welcome. I do give off, I sometimes throw them out, but I can't change who I am. As long as they are respectful and they are getting to see that here but it sometimes isn't easy....

Dr Beckman also does a laundry liquid that genuinely removes a musty smell from laundry.

No mention of your daughter, sounds like they bought them in your time and you have a cream carpet with children ...you must be an incredible optimist ...go you and your confidence ✨️ 👏

You shouldn’t be arguing with the parents, full stop. It’s not their fault, how are they responsible at all?

was your daughter not part of the group playing with the toys? Why is it only her friends who are to blame?

You had a gut feeling that if they popped, your carpets would be damaged. You warned them, but you didnt take any action on that gut instinct. Sorry OP, but the finger of blame points towards you.
The kids didn’t maliciously do it, it was unfortunate. They made the mistake because they pushed the boundaries, because you didn’t set a proper one. All they would have taken from your threat is “cool, we can continue to play with them, we just can’t let them pop” but they over estimated the resilience of the toy, easily done when your brain is only 12yrs old.

Another note, I had a friend with a mom like you growing up. Speaking to kids the way you do “if you do that and this happens, I’ll be fuming” “what do you think you’re doing? Put that back” “you can get out of my house, tell your parents why you’re not allowed to stay” Everyone hated her, she was known as the mean, grumpy mom. Nobody wanted to go to that particular friends house because they felt like walking on eggshells. My friend was mortified by her mom embarrassing her all the time, by getting cross and aggy with her friends just being kids.

I get you having boundaries, and wanting a level of respect and placing down some authority, but have a think about how it was handled. You made a child cry, they were attempting to clean up, they were trying to correct their mistake. You could have expressed your disappointment with them and said that’s exactly why you didn’t want them playing with them, but what’s done is done, accepted you didn’t ban them and acknowledged your part to blame.
I personally wouldn’t have sent them home, I would have said “you can all go out and play for a bit now, I don’t want you all in here at the moment, I need to deal with the mess” and let them walk and reflect on it a bit. You punished them for a mistake that you didn’t have control of when you should have, and made it awkward for them all by telling them “and you can tell your parents the reason I sent you home”

You can be cross, but don’t be mean or passive aggressive. For your daughter’s sake.

Why would you be arguing with the other parents?

I’d genuinely laugh my tits off at you if you sent me a message about this. Solely your fault. I have a cream carpet and two children U12. It’s a nice carpet but f me.. it’s a carpet. Clean it, or buy a a new one.

I also wouldn’t want my children at your home, so maybe - send the texts - give the parents a heads up that you’re irrational and unreasonable.

I think you’ve over reacted. It’s your responsibility to take the toys away.. I’d have tried decent stain remover and carpet cleaner before going mad tbh. Agree they were silly but I think you’ve probably made life hard socially for your DD

You sound like a SUPER fun mum. Your poor kid. She must be mortified.

I think this is on you. I would be fuming too but I wouldn’t expect the parents to pay.

How bad is it- I’m sure it can be sorted, you might even laugh about it in 10 years!

So your daughter just stood by and watched? Took no part in it at all? That's obviously the case as you're clearly placing all the blame on the other kids present....

You are being totally unreasonable! The fact you let them (including your innocent little daughter) continue to do what they were doing, Makes you even more complicit in ask this. You were the adult, you should have acted like one.

You made it clear, you punished them by sending them all home, you knew the risks, they took the responsibility to at least know they fucked up and try fix it.

Honestly, if I had to pick up my daughter who was crying from trying to fix something she'd fucked up on, I probably wouldn't punish her - because you literally let them do it, and I'm not a precious parent at all but you have to take some of the blame for knowing exactly what they was doing, where they was doing it, and putting faith in 'accidents won't happen'

It wasn't on purpose, and I think they've probably be punished enough.

Can you post a picture, potentially someone has a great trick that won't cost you £££ on a professional clean

I understand how gutted you must be, it feels so wasteful and pointless when things like this happen but it was on your watch, the girls aren't especially to blame, they were given permission to play with toys that have high likelihood of bursting and it's certainly not the other parents responsibility, I don't allow those things in my house as they burst as you clearly knew!! if someone let my daughter buy one and play with it on a cream carpet I would find it hard to take responsibility and pay for the cleaning as that was that persons choice to take the risk and unless they could say my daughter deliberately burst it and smeared it or did something else really purposeful then I would only make my daughter rightfully apologize for the mistake but I would suggest the incident was enabled by your choices. Does your DD have a cream carpet? It's worth remembering that when kids are in gangs they are less sensible and attentive than pairs or alone and don't think things through as much but it's still a big ask to expect a bunch of 12 year olds to self regulate enough to not play with a toy excitedly when you've not really controlled it. You need to be on it, eg no drinks on carpets, food and sweets at the table, no make up or nail polish etc if you want to keep things under control. Maybe someone can recommend stain removal ideas and I do understand it's awful and expensive and frustrating, I even get pissed off when my daughters pals mess her bedroom up, I've no patience

I got lily pollen on my cream carpet and I was convinced it was uncleanable. Bought this and treated it 3 times, no stain. Incredible. HG Stain Remover Extra Strong,... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00D6E66EG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

She already said she is waiting for an apology from the parents so presumably believes the parents do know. Whether she told them or thinks the girls will tell their parents, I have no idea.

I don’t understand why you want their parents to know , you were the adult in charge so it’s totally down to you

I would let the girls tell their parents, they probably will because they fear that you might.

Personally I'd let it go but make sure they knew nothing like that was to happen again.

A cream carpet doesn't sound like a good idea with children around.

They did? Or your daughter did? Your daughter should be setting the tone for how her friends play at your house. I remember being much younger and telling my friends things like "we're not allowed drinks upstairs" or "can you leave your shoes by the door".
If you asked them to go outside, it's between you and your daughter to ensure that happens.

The fact you had already threatened to "hit the roof" and then spoke the way you did to a guest in your home says volumes about you.

You need to ensure your daughter knows your house rules and that she ensures her friends are told these.

But I don't think you need to worry about it now, no one is going to want to come and hang out at your house today, after how you spoke to them.

Sending them home was a huge over -reaction.

I’m sorry about your carpet and feel your pain but you did know, as did your daughter, what was going on so know I don’t think it’s the other parents responsibility. An apology and telling off would be reasonable (if they know)

Can’t believe you sent them all home from sleepover over a blob on the carpet.

If anything you should be sending apology texts to the parents for overreacting and making them come collect their kids!

YABVU not to have a mini carpet cleaner at home with cream carpets (and children)!

My son's friends broke his bed by jumping on it when they were younger.
Was I annoyed? Yes. Did I let them know I was annoyed? Of course not. Children do silly things and I perhaps could have been paying more attention. I didn't dream of sending them home.

Yabvvvvvvvvu Just for watching Eastenders. 😁 ya definitely NBU for literally hitting the roof, your predicament is precisely the reason I've banned "play dates" - I hope you can get your carpet sorted ❤️

I know. WD40 is magical and I use it for lots of things now. Ive got a Matt black sink in my utility room which really discolours with our hard water, and a quick spray of WD40 get rid of the white marks instantly.