DD’s friends have absolutely destroyed my carpet.

[MyOwnBestFriend1989]

I don’t even know the point in posting this but DH is on a business trip and all my friends are probably watching the England match so have got no one to rant to.

my DD (12) had her friends over today and they went to B&M or wherever it was (honestly couldn’t care less at this point) and bought some of those stupid stress toys. They’re the ones filled with fluorescent, possibly radioactive, liquid and you squeeze them. when they came back they were instantly playing tug of war with them, jumping on them and just stretching them beyond their limits. I said, in no unclear terms, “if one of those pops and goes all over my carpet I’m going to hit the roof”. Obviously I got the whole “we’ll be careful!” reassurance, and please don’t ask me why I didn’t confiscate the toys off them because I honestly don’t know!

i was downstairs catching up on Eastenders and one of the girls comes down looking guilty and sheepish and disappears into the kitchen. She comes out clutching my Zoflora and I instantly ask her “what do you think you’re doing with that”, she claims the girls were “just making potions”. My response was “not with my Zoflora you’re not now what’s the real reason.” Cue her bursting into tears shouting “we didn’t mean to!”. My stomach dropped.

I’ve marched upstairs and there it is - a, what can only be described as marinated, ocean blue stain clearly smeared into my cream carpet. Not only that, there was also some scrunched up bits of toilet paper in it which had a faint blue tinge to it meaning they had obviously rubbed it in in an attempt to get it out.

i have to give myself credit for I didn’t scream or shout at the girls: I said “girls, you have half an hour to ring your parents and get them to collect you.” There were no arguments and rightly so.

it is now 11pm and I’m yet to receive an apology text from one of the parents - not that a “sorry” WhatsApp message will pay for my carpet to be professionally cleaned.

don’t know what the point is in posting this but just deflated to be honest. Unless of course anyone has any advice on how I can get this stain out or indeed on how to passive aggressively message the parents to imply that I do indeed want to be indemnified for a professional clean.

Yes, we're surprised you came back but not surprised you have no update or response.

Wow.

Which parent picked your dd up from your house, OP? You should really charge that parent most. 😂

Perhaps she’s too busy haranguing the other parents with requests for payment.

Or overseeing her daughter scrubbing the carpet 🤔

@grumpygrape

daughter could and should scrub the carpet with her mum, work together to try to put it right.

YABU. You literally knew what was going to happen, and didn't take enough steps to prevent it. If you didn't want a massive stain on your carpet, you should have removed the risk entirely and taken the items away or sent the girls elsewhere to play. You were the adult in charge. This one's on you.

Well they were still told to be careful and they choose not to be... so yes I would expect them to contribute and learn a lesson.

They knew what would happen if they messed around with them and made a choice to still do that. Poor choices need consequences.

They got sent home. That was a fitting consequence.

If my child caused damage in someone else’s house by being silly/ careless I would be mortified and would want to pay to fix the problem.

I disagree.

They have caused a significant amount of damage.

Kids need to understand action and consequences.

How else do they learn to respect other people's property?

That’s a bit harsh and over the top. ‘Why you’ve been told to leave’…

It’s not like there was intent or malice in it.

They’re 12.

If you want to be mad at anyone be mad at yourself. You saw it coming and took no steps to stop it.

It can be really scary having a friend’s Mum be so stern. Sure one of them has already been in tears.

+It’s a carpet, it can be cleaned. Unsure why you’re expecting a by proxy apology from parents who weren’t even there.

I’m afraid that this is your responsibility OP. They are kids and you were the supervising adult.

It’s not the responsibility of other parents who weren’t there. If anything, you may have inconvenienced them by asking them to come and pick up kids earlier than was expected.

I don't think you can ask the parents to pay although if I was one of them I would probably offer.

I don't remember having to supervise dd and her friends when they were 12, they're at secondary school ffs. I think the fact that you warned them and they said they'd be careful fully justifies you sending them home early, you trusted them and they screwed it up so they have to take the consequences. That's a good life lesson. Was your dd genuinely apologetic? If she was I'd say she could make amends by putting money towards the cleaning.

I hope one of the cleaning suggestions work.

Kids don't have money to replace or professionally deepclean a carpet. It's their parents who would end up being asked.

OP doesn't know which or how many of the girls were holding the thing when it broke. She can't prove who was, it might have been her own dd for all she knows. Trying to get the parents to pay would be a nightmare and cause loads of problems socially.

OP knew it was an accident waiting to happen and she didn't take action.
She wasn't properly supervising them knowing what they were doing.

Her consequences for not stepping in at the time or watching them is a stained carpet.

Sending them home early was fair and enough.

The 'poor choice' was made by the parent, the adult, to make the take them outside or not play with them.

12 year-old children were playing with a toy that broke. They don't have an adult understanding of how likely that was to happen. It was up to the parent to parent instead of deciding she couldn't be bothered then get angry with them when the inevitable happens.

Nobody on MN is ever bothered by anything. Pretty sure that if the DD and her mates had been playing with matches and burnt her house down then the OP would still be told to get over it and just buy another one.

Reminds me of the thread recently where a lady unknowingly put her baby I'm a defective restaurant high chair, which then fell over with the child in it and hit the ground. So many people were lining up to chastise the obviously shaken and upset OP because they wouldn't have batted an eyelid in the same situation. Apparently.

FFS NEITHER SHOULD BE SCRUBBING THE CARPET UNLESS YOU WANT TO RUIN IT.

Pull water on it and absorb the water with a clean dry towel, preferably white rinse and repeat.

I wouldn't be mortified. I would be apologetic (in an "I'm sorry that happened, DC didn't intend the the carpet to be damaged" kind of way) but I would also be clear it was an accident. And I would suggest a carpet cleaner she could try. But I would also be wondering why she wasn't supervising sufficiently.

It was not 'too hot' by the time England kicked off, but it was up to you to be the adult. Tell them they could play with them in the garden or not at all.

There are lots of things that would bother me, and my baby getting hurt certainly would have. I wouldn't, however, cause a big scene over a stain on a carpet. If I was very fussed about my carpets, I wouldn't let kids keep playing on them in a way that I'd already identified as likely to lead to damage.

Gosh I think your reaction is very extreme. I would have arranged a professional cleaner (most stains come out), expressed annoyance, but otherwise the friends would have stayed and enjoyed themselves. Life is too short, it's a carpet, and I imagine your daughter is rather embarrassed by your reaction of chucking her friends out, which will live with her longer than a carpet would last!
The idea that the other parents should pay is completely ridiculous. If you tell them what happened, they'll think you're unhinged.

Please don't despair, it might be salvageable. A few weeks ago I washed some cream shorts with blood on at a high temperature thinking the high temperature would get the stain out. It made it worse!

I then took biological washing powder, made a paste, smeared it over the stain and the stain lifted after a few hours. Please try biological stain removers before throwing it out.

Why didn’t you say No to them playing with it on your cream carpet? If I was one of their parents, I would be thinking that.

Do you struggle to assert yourself?

"37 school weeks out of primary school" ...give me strength.

You let them do it