DD’s friends have absolutely destroyed my carpet.

[MyOwnBestFriend1989]

I don’t even know the point in posting this but DH is on a business trip and all my friends are probably watching the England match so have got no one to rant to.

my DD (12) had her friends over today and they went to B&M or wherever it was (honestly couldn’t care less at this point) and bought some of those stupid stress toys. They’re the ones filled with fluorescent, possibly radioactive, liquid and you squeeze them. when they came back they were instantly playing tug of war with them, jumping on them and just stretching them beyond their limits. I said, in no unclear terms, “if one of those pops and goes all over my carpet I’m going to hit the roof”. Obviously I got the whole “we’ll be careful!” reassurance, and please don’t ask me why I didn’t confiscate the toys off them because I honestly don’t know!

i was downstairs catching up on Eastenders and one of the girls comes down looking guilty and sheepish and disappears into the kitchen. She comes out clutching my Zoflora and I instantly ask her “what do you think you’re doing with that”, she claims the girls were “just making potions”. My response was “not with my Zoflora you’re not now what’s the real reason.” Cue her bursting into tears shouting “we didn’t mean to!”. My stomach dropped.

I’ve marched upstairs and there it is - a, what can only be described as marinated, ocean blue stain clearly smeared into my cream carpet. Not only that, there was also some scrunched up bits of toilet paper in it which had a faint blue tinge to it meaning they had obviously rubbed it in in an attempt to get it out.

i have to give myself credit for I didn’t scream or shout at the girls: I said “girls, you have half an hour to ring your parents and get them to collect you.” There were no arguments and rightly so.

it is now 11pm and I’m yet to receive an apology text from one of the parents - not that a “sorry” WhatsApp message will pay for my carpet to be professionally cleaned.

don’t know what the point is in posting this but just deflated to be honest. Unless of course anyone has any advice on how I can get this stain out or indeed on how to passive aggressively message the parents to imply that I do indeed want to be indemnified for a professional clean.

I'm having deja vu as I'm sure I read this exact post about 6 months ago..

@MyOwnBestFriend1989 you can’t ask the girls’ parents to pay for any damage in your house, as they had no opportunity to parent their children whilst in your home, they would have been expecting you to do this. And you didn’t. You left the girls to play with those items even though you knew of the potential consequences should one burst.

This is on you OP. You messed up. And can only be angry with yourself I’m afraid.

@MyOwnBestFriend1989 you can’t ask the girls’ parents to pay for any damage in your house, as they had no opportunity to parent their children whilst in your home, they would have been expecting you to do this. And you didn’t. You left the girls to play with those items even though you knew of the potential consequences should one burst.

This is on you OP. You messed up. And can only be angry with yourself I’m afraid.

I doubt the kids told their parents, OP; they were probably too embarrassed. Have you tried spraying a mix of vinegar and warm water on the goo to get it out?

Next time, don't allow toys like that to be played with inside.

I think it’s you who should be sending an apology. Girls have been invited over I assume for a sleepover. You knew those things would burst, but you let them take them upstairs. It bursts, the girls panic, they do their best to clean it and clearly anticipated your response. Your conversation to the girl with the zoflora is awful. You were rude and nasty. Why would the girls not be honest with their parents? Your daughter will be the one who misses out on some of the fun stuff now as they will all be scared of you. An apology from you is needed along the lines of I’m sorry, I over reacted, it’s my fault, I knew that would happen but still let them take it upstairs. Maybe the stain will be a reminder about how adults should behave.

You are making too much of it. Kids have always done stuff like this without thinking the consequence through - that's what you're there for, to be in charge and make sure your own child does what you tell her to. Claim on the insurance and don't even think of asking their parents to pay.

I can't imagine sending dc home for a genuine accident. You must have made them (and your dd) very uncomfortable. I think the impact of your dd is more important than the stain on your carpet.

Its your job and responsibility to supervise play in your house. You let them play with them against your better judgement on cream carpet so you pay for clean up.

What do you want them to message?
Sorry you didn't supervise my child and an inevitable accident occurred?

This one is on you.
Chalk it up to experience

It's the third post I've read about this over a couple of years.

Sorry, OP. Another vote here for "this was your responsibility".

Especially as you've subsequently said you suggested they go outside but didn't put your foot down. You know you have cream hallway carpet too- this was all pretty foreseeable and you could easily have prevented it. Making other people's kids feel bad- and even expecting their parents to pay- because you took your eye off the ball isn't on.

Absolutely this

You’re better than me I would have hit the fucking roof and started wailing. I would probably have bollocked the kid for trying to lie to me as well.

Realistically though you should have been watching them or kicked them outside to play. Whenever we have other peoples kids over I pretty much always banish them to the garden unless it’s torrential rain.

We’ve had to ban them from the school I work as as kids were purposely popping them or cutting them with scissors and it was going everywhere - being left on chairs for the next kid to sit in etc. can’t wait for yet another shit trend to disappear.

It's possible you can get it out. I did this a few weeks ago when one of my cats knocked over a dehumidifier in the window onto cream carpet. The ones that have a blue liquid. I used carpet cleaner to blot and soak up most of the blue. Then I switched to warm water and white vinegar. Blot, blot, blot and it'll (hopefully) come out! Don't wring out the cloth too much, really let it get wet so it lifts properly.

Yup, sorry OP, not the other girl's parents fault you let them have them in the first place.

White vinegar is pretty good at lifting absolutely horrific radioactive slime out of a carpet (guess how I know).

You don’t sound very nice. Why send the girls home? You’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. Your daughter must be mortified.

YABU you should have said play in the garden with the things or not at all. You are the parent here, I would not pay if I was one of the other parents.

I mean, YANBU to be pissed off but I'd not expect other parents to chip in to cleaning.

That's a cost you bear having DC and having their friends round to play.

Get the pro cleaner booked in and agree a suitable (but not excessively harsh) punishment for your DD. I would suggest she has to clean something in the home today.

They're 12, not 45. Kids. 12 year olds get overexcitable and silly and clumsy and stuff gets damaged in the process. It's what they do.

DD2 had a bunch of friends come over just after her 12th birthday when we'd moved house and they were just the same. Fortunately, because I had more sense than that was skint and had cats, the flooring was vinyl other than a cheap oatmeal landing carpet and dark seagrass on the stairs, so there were no ruined carpets. What we did have, though, was a broken lower segment and back panel of her brand new wardrobe and a wonky chest of drawers where a couple of them thought it would be funny to sit in and on them.

There was no point in getting angry about it, they were hyped up and being silly and instead of doing anything, I'd retreated into the shade with a cold drink to leave them to get on with it. When DD told me, I had a look, rolled my eyes and tried to fix them, but the damage was too extensive.

DD was so annoyed with them that she never invited anybody else round again and told them why. Me making a fuss because I'd bought cheap shit furniture (because it was all I could afford) and hadn't done anything when the noise got a bit louder would have been pointless.

You didn't stop them playing with things that could stain a daft choice of colour especially for a hallway white carpet when you already knew it was likely to happen. That's your responsibility, not some hyper preteens'.

There is no chance they have told their parents what actually happened. If their parents asked them they likely gave them some vague rubbish about you having to go on an emergency errand or something.

so first off you now message all the parents and say that you assume that by now they know why the girls were sent home and that tomorrow you will get a quote for cleaning the carpet and you will let them know how much they will owe you

and then when you get the price you divide it by the number of girls involved (including yours)

And in future you remember that this was partly your fault for not making them go outside with the toys, or taking them off them.

ETA if you are lucky some of the parents at least will cough up. (also where i live, not UK, parents have 3rd party insurance for their children for things like this)

You had the opportunity to take the things off them especially as you were aware the mess they could make and now you sent them home and expect ££ from their parents?
Exactly how to ruin friendship's.

This - this happened on your watch you should have taken the toys off them. There was literally nothing those parents could have done to prevent this when they werent there, this one is on you
And frankly expensive cream carpets are a silly impractical choice in a house with children. As a pp said you have sent them outside with it.

This was your fault and your daughter’s fault as much as her friends. You saw that their play was too rough relative to the jeopardy and you went and watched eastenders. They’re kids. You’re an adult. Your daughter didn’t stop the continued rough play.

You absolutely cannot expect them to pay for the carpet. You should have parented.

Exactly. You anticipated the issue. Lesson learned OP