DD’s friends have absolutely destroyed my carpet.

[MyOwnBestFriend1989]

I don’t even know the point in posting this but DH is on a business trip and all my friends are probably watching the England match so have got no one to rant to.

my DD (12) had her friends over today and they went to B&M or wherever it was (honestly couldn’t care less at this point) and bought some of those stupid stress toys. They’re the ones filled with fluorescent, possibly radioactive, liquid and you squeeze them. when they came back they were instantly playing tug of war with them, jumping on them and just stretching them beyond their limits. I said, in no unclear terms, “if one of those pops and goes all over my carpet I’m going to hit the roof”. Obviously I got the whole “we’ll be careful!” reassurance, and please don’t ask me why I didn’t confiscate the toys off them because I honestly don’t know!

i was downstairs catching up on Eastenders and one of the girls comes down looking guilty and sheepish and disappears into the kitchen. She comes out clutching my Zoflora and I instantly ask her “what do you think you’re doing with that”, she claims the girls were “just making potions”. My response was “not with my Zoflora you’re not now what’s the real reason.” Cue her bursting into tears shouting “we didn’t mean to!”. My stomach dropped.

I’ve marched upstairs and there it is - a, what can only be described as marinated, ocean blue stain clearly smeared into my cream carpet. Not only that, there was also some scrunched up bits of toilet paper in it which had a faint blue tinge to it meaning they had obviously rubbed it in in an attempt to get it out.

i have to give myself credit for I didn’t scream or shout at the girls: I said “girls, you have half an hour to ring your parents and get them to collect you.” There were no arguments and rightly so.

it is now 11pm and I’m yet to receive an apology text from one of the parents - not that a “sorry” WhatsApp message will pay for my carpet to be professionally cleaned.

don’t know what the point is in posting this but just deflated to be honest. Unless of course anyone has any advice on how I can get this stain out or indeed on how to passive aggressively message the parents to imply that I do indeed want to be indemnified for a professional clean.

It's highly annoying but it happened on your watch, so you will have to suck it up. If a carpet clean doesn't work I would be inclined to claim on insurance. That's what you pay it for.

This is totally your fault. You knew the risk and the possible outcome, and you knew they were stamping on them and stretching them beyond their limits. The girls parents aren’t at fault at all. You agreed to have their kids round so you should have been supervising them.

You were the adult in charge so it was on you to tell them to play with these toys elsewhere. Nobody else to blame but yourself here I’m afraid

You sound like a birrcch tbh and god knows why any of them would want to come over. My girl and her friend broke out toilet light. We went without a light for years because I couldn’t afford to replace jt. We just laughed about it everytime they came round .

Sorry OP this is all on you - you should have booted them out if playing with those kinds of toys…..and on a cream carpet too! Instead you left them to it.

On you would have only let them do that in the garden

Sorry, but whilst I too would be annoyed, this one is on you OP as the adult in charge. Surely you must realise that. That's not to say there should be no consequences for your daughter. However, I'm sure she is mortified about her friends being thrown out - if it was one of my children, I wouldn't allow them back.

Cream carpets with children? 🤪
Will the space allow for a nice rug?
The kids have probably not told their parents. I once spilled nail varnish remover on a friend's parent''s bed side table, stripping the varnish. I wasn't going to tell on myself, but they told on me unfortunately.
I would consider claiming on my contents insurance and replace with à dark or striped or seagrass carpet. Otherwise, I would put a mid priced rug on it. I would stop any pocket money until DD has made a reasonable contribution towards it.
It can be upsetting when material things are damaged but try and prioritise your relationship with DD and her friends. Next time you see them, you could have a kind chat and establish some ground rules for being in your home..

This was on your watch. I can't believe you sent those children home for a silly mistake that you saw coming and didn't take action to prevent.

It's pretty straightforward. You were in charge, you were aware what they were doing so it happened very much on your watch. It's unfortunate of course but you cover it. When you have kids these things happen.

OP, try Stardrops Pink Stuff carpet (upholstery/fabric?) cleaner. Its available in most supermarkets and works brilliantly on my sofa and carpets with blood stains (I have gynae issues and flood massively). I also use bicarbonate of soda after the Pink Stuff sprinkled on the stain, leave for 24 hours and then vacuum it off. Leaves it extra fresh and clean. Both can be bought in b&m and supermarkets.

What a pickle.

You have probably made life really difficult now for your dd with her friends.

A carpet can be replaced, fractured friendships at this age not so much.

Your DD must be mortified. Hopefully you've apologised to everyone today. I love EastEnders too but 👀

If your house, your playdate & your DD. They are 12 year olds girls you had every chance to tell them out immediately with that toy or put it away & you didn’t. So I’d think you were quite mad if you texted over a situation your DD was also involved in under your supervision.

I’m sorry but you were the adult supervising them and should have taken the toy away or made them go outside. Your DD also had a responsibility to tell her friends not to do it. Their parents shouldn’t have to pay for your lapse in judgement.

Totally agree. OP’s reaction was completely OTT. These things happen, she foresaw it was going to happen and didn’t prevent it!

These are 12 year olds and they did something silly, not malicious. OP has ruined the weekend for all of them, and her DD will be distraught now at the thought of her friends never wanting to come round again. OP has created a massive mountain out of a molehill. Carpets can be cleaned, the upset caused to the children, and potential rift in friendships is less easy to repair.

DD will already be distraught today, please do not continue to punish her.

As an aside, cannot believe how many people are suggesting using home insurance to clean or even replace a carpet. Insane!! Home insurance is for major incidents resulting in thousands of ££ of damage, not one bloody carpet. You will already have a hefty excess to pay, and your premium will go through the roof for years after a claim. Never use insurance for something minor.

Correct. I would think the mother was either unhinged or had been drunk to have a hissy fit and send all the children home. Either way, I’d not let my DD go round there again.

OP’s best bet for a damage limitation exercise is to send a very calm & reasoned explanation to the other parents this morning but unfortunately, she has damaged these friendships through terrible handling of the situation.

this seems like a massive over reaction. Im not sure it would occur to me as a parent that wasn't there to be angry with my child for a joint game that led to a stain - that the parent had been aware was taking place !

in 15 yrs as a parent and having had many kids round playing energetically I have never sent one home! I would have to see serious malicious behaviour for that.

I don't blame you for being deeply pissed off and sending the girls home.

I don't think you can expect other parents to apologise or offer to pay, though - it happened on your watch.

Regarding the stain, I'd get a professional onto it. If you have any offcuts of the carpet, you could cover it temporarily with an off cut 'rug'.

I think OP disappeared a while ago … and is probably regretting her actions ( hope so!).
Thank goodness she didn’t ‘scream’ at her daughter’s friends.
Your daughter’s friends seemed as though they really wanted to sort it ( with the Zoflora etc)
Hope this won’t affect your daughter’s relationship with her friends. And please - as a mum to teens / pre teens - keep your communication with them open & supportive.
and .. I know I’ll probably be criticised for this statement - OP - you should probably limit your viewing of Eastenders…

And you just let them carry on playing with them on your cream carpet?!

The children won’t have passed in the information and I would get ahead of it and phone them because you never know what excuse they have come out with!
I suspect no one will offer to pay to help clean it, it all happened under your supervision and you could see what was going to happen because you’re warned them you’d hit the roof if it did.
Your daughter, I assume knows your house rules and is more to blame as well. She should have stopped when you told her….
I have a son the same age, I usually get invaded by boys who could be quite boisterous but essentially pretty well behaved.
Im pretty chilled out but there are some things I won’t tolerate so if one of them is making an interesting choice/being stupid my child will say to pack it in because otherwise they’ll not be coming again because I will just say no…
I learnt very quickly to have tiled floors throughout the downstairs after having boys and animals traipsing through, so I can see why you’re upset over your lovely cream carpet. I’ve resigned myself to redoing the house how I would like after they’ve all left home 😂

OP, did you never make this sort of error growing up? I was in my early twenties when I shook a bottle of nail varnish in my parents' immaculate house and the top flew off and got silver polish all over the new wall paper and carpet. Nobody shouted. I won't deny there was some polite despair and I was very sorry. I'd done so well since the fag burn in the carpet from the small party I'd hosted while they were on holiday during the upper sixth.

We're all different and I can't get too upset about carpet personally but my parent are very house proud people so I am familiar with your perspective. However if a visitor to our house smashed a window during an act of complete stupidity I would reassure them vigorously that it was fine, we'd never liked that window and would be delighted to replace it, they'd done me a favour, don't give it a second thought. I would not make them cry. I'd be more concerned about preventing them from feeling awful about it, because they would.

You seem to be treading an altogether different path. I hope you don't ring their parents, for everyone's sake. Accidents happen and the biggest problem here seems to be your reaction. Do you respond to life like this generally? I can't imagine you will need to ban DD from inviting friends. She must be mortified.

My daughter did this with a navy blue glittery one on a light grey carpet! I got a brush with a little washing up liquid and a stain remover/carpet cleaner and kept going over it and it did eventually come out.