Partner went for an "afternoon pint" and came home needing to be put to bed having taken magic mushrooms

[ByRoseSheep]

I'm not sure what my AIBU question is here but I'm incredibly concerned

This is INCREDIBLY unlike my partner. He goes out a handful of times a year, usually in the afternoon for a few pints and is back in the evening. I'm completely and utterly stunned.

We did magic mushrooms together once 3 years ago. It was a pre-planned thing. We were early 20s at the time and didn't have any responsibilities. We'd made sure we were both off work the next day, and ensured we were in a safe environment. It was relatively harmless, we watched a film together and had a laugh, slept it off and that was that. Though overall the time we did magic mushrooms together was okay, he did present a bit of paranoia about a neighbour getting a parcel delivered. I'd taken a smaller dose than him and had to reassure him and sort of babysit him. After that we agreed it had been a one-off bucket list thing whilst young and that we had 0 interest in doing it again, especially since we had future plans involved building careers and having a family.

We also had a conversation again when I got pregnant with our planned baby that we'd never take the risk of anything like that ever again as the risk of having a bad reaction and resulting mental health issues is far too great when we have a child. He usually really has his shit together and is going for a promotion and we're in the middle of a mortgage application.

I'm now 8 months pregnant. He mentioned that his workmates had invited him out to watch the match tonight. He's not interested in the football and told me he wasn't going to bother. A bit later on he said he may just pop out for a few pints and enjoy the sun and he back for dinner. He booked his taxi, went off at about 3pm and I didn't think anything of it.

6pm I get a text saying "In the taxi on my way home." I replied and told him I'd done dinner. Honestly didn't think anything of it. He then said "When I get in put me to bed". I was shocked because I hadn't expected him to get drunk, he works at 7am tomorrow in quite a dangerous role that involves driving heavy machinery and they have a rule that you can't be drunk within a certain time period prior to a shift, and they do occasional drug and alcohol urine tests on employees without prior notice. I asked him how many pints he'd had an he replied saying "mushroom".

I let him in the house and he was laughing and giggling and started hugging me and saying sorry. I had to push him off me because he was unsteady on his feet and I was scared he'd fall on me and the bump. He told me "It's just about to kick in". I supervised him into bed and have now left him to it.

I am so fucking angry at him and feel like an absolute mug. This really is so unlike him, I cannot believe it. How can he be so stupid? What if I were to go into labour? What if he gets urine tested tomorrow and sacked? I'm incredibly stressed. We have no food in the house and I had been planning to go and get some but now I can't leave him. I'm hoping he stays asleep but I know usually on mushrooms you can't sleep. I'm concerned he will get up and start wandering around the house.

I feel like such a fucking mug for never considering that he would do this. I honestly don't think he's lied and pre-planned it, I think the stupid twat has been taken in by peer pressure from "the lads". I can't believe I'm pregnant by someone like this. I feel like once he comes round he's going to play it down. I had our health visitor appointment the other day and she had asked a general box-ticking question about whether anyone in the home is a drug user and I'd said no with no hesitation and now I feel like a liar. I'm devastated.

' Put me to bed?' what physically carry him to the bed and place him in it?! Tuck him in?! Is he 2?!

Silly sod. You should've just said make your own way to bed you've done mushrooms not had both your kneecaps blown off. 🤣

For starters I don’t think he is working tomorrow.

If it is a one off I would just shrug it off. Get the food delivered / order a takeaway.

He is an idiot though and I would be very unimpressed too.

I would not freak out too much, sounds like a one off. Would be more concerned if it was a regular thing. But , it would be good to chat tomorrow and say its a deal breaker if it happens again. Boundaries and all that. And mean it.

😂

The thing is is that he knows from the time that we did it together that he gets paranoid. The neighbour across the road had got a parcel delivered and he was then convinced the parcel was meant for him and she was sat on a bench in her front garden and he was convinced she was going to come over to deliver him this "suspicious parcel". I had to physical prevent him going out as he looked shitfaced. I also had to stop him setting off fireworks in the road. I really don't want to deal with any shit like that tonight especially being 8 months pregnant.

Silly bastard. I'm sure he'll be fine and I very much doubt this is a downward spiral into IV drug use - although I do appreciate being very pregnant, probably quite hot and a bit annoyed is probably making this feel very very very annoying and big to you right now, and you have my sympathies!

Order yourself a takeaway and try not to do the spiralling thinking-about-something-over-and-over thing. Tell him in the morning he's a stupid man for getting himself too twatted to get himself to bed and if he has to call in sick to work he's going to look a right dick because of the football, but you can get annoyed about that if it happens. I'm sure mushrooms don't stay in your system long at all so unless he gets tested tomorrow I think he'll be fine.

Then don't. Let him. Don't deal with it. You don't have to babysit him. Let him deal with the fall out.

Is there anyone you can call to back you up? You’re right, you shouldn’t be dealing with this.

I’d assume he needs to call in sick tomorrow. I’d also assume he’s stupidly thought, just once more before the baby comes.

Are you absolutely sure he’s not just drunk. Sun. Beer. Blah blah.

it seems very random. All of it. To try once, odd. To go out with usual friends, randomly come home and say mushrooms.

is it not more likely he’s just had to much beer.

Or would his grown up friends usually do stuff like that?

Mushrooms don’t show up on a urine test

What a weird thing to do - are shrooms ‘the thing’ now?

Anyway, he was giggly when he got back, so he should be fine.

no work tomorrow, for sure. He will have a bad stomach, so there’s that excuse.

But, if he heads down a bad trip, anecdotally, milk helps. Warm milk.
(Probably a placebo, but the power of suggestion is, well, powerful. So you need to offer it confidently - say something about tryptophans and leave him to it.)

What a knob! Shrooms are not a spur of the moment down the pub with pregnant wife at home thing to do. I hope he has an unpleasant trip and is very sorry tomorrow. Otherwise stop stressing. It's impossible to do any serious physical harm from shrooms and the idea that you'll get severe mental health issues from a trip is just false. He's probably not even had that much, a large dose is quite a lot of shrooms and is actually quite hard to get down you.

The whole thing of you doing it together and it being a bit boring and then having actual conversations agreeing it will never happen again is a bit odd to be honest.

I'm not surprised he did it again, there is obviously an interest in mushrooms there? Otherwise why the conversations agreeing never again?

it’s a one off I wouldn’t worry about it. He’ll probably get into a bit of shit at work for being “sick” after the England game.

wilL mushrooms even show up in a workplace drug test? I work for one of the biggest logistics companies and not sure ours do.

No urine dip test I've ever seen tests for psylocibin. I'm sure a hair strand test could, but nobody is having them at work.

What an absolute bell end.

Do you have anyone who can babysit him op whilst you try to relax and stay stress free?

You're too pregnant for this and he definitely needs the riot act reading tomorrow and you need to mean it.

I know some of his mates do coke too. He has been honest with me before that he's been offered it once or twice but has never done it and doesn't really want to try it. I have no tolerance for coke and told him if he ever came home having done coke I would leave him. We haven't discussed since I got pregnant. I worry it could be coke next time, which I'd never been concerned about before this.

The weirdness has started now. He's gone into WhatsApp and deleted his text thread where he admits he's taken mushrooms. He's now texting me from upstairs asking for food and saying he desperately needs to eat protein to "keep his stamina up" and I can hear footsteps of him wandering about upstairs.

First of all, you’re both very young and you appear to have put a stop to fun, spontaneity and silliness that are a rite of passage in one’s 20s, when you’re both only mid-20s? Did he want to settle down and have a baby so young, who drove that decision?

I’m not saying he behaved acceptably (he absolutely didn’t) but I can empathise with someone who perhaps felt pressured to go along with major life decisions at such a young age.

I think you both need to have an honest conversation on how you want your 20s to look, and reach a compromise or go your separate ways.

I am a massive magic mushroom fan and have a LOT of experience.
This is absolutely not okay, he is an inexperienced user and trips are highly dependent on the dose, strain and mood that a person has been in.
He's still got a good few hours to go of the trip yet and will probably be just about hitting it's peak.

I genuinely don't know what to suggest, if you weren't 8m pregnant I'd say you'd have to grin and bare being a trip sitter, whilst realistically the chances of anything going wrong are small I wouldn't want to take that risk, does he have a friend that can come and sit with him for a while whilst you go out?

I appreciate you have good intentions but he definitely wanted a child as much as me. He's usually incredibly responsible and level-headed and never gets drunk as he has childhood trauma from an alcoholic father. In the whole 5 years we've been together I think he's been out past midnight on 2 occasions. He was never a big night out person even before we met. The blokes he's gone out with today are just colleagues really. He turns them down the majority of the time when invited out.

Also I will correct myself somewhat, he's 4 years older than me. He is 28 now I'm 24. So he was more mid-20s when we did mushrooms together 3 years ago

Can you go to a travel lodge or premier inn nearby- £80 and you’ll have air con 😁 I wouldn’t worry about baby sitting him, he’s a grown man and can sort out his own tripping

Yes, I had a few colleagues who would do them recreationally. I think it's because the microdosing trend has made people less scared of anything trippy, especially compared with other social drugs like coke or ketamine that can fuck you up quite badly physically and (at least the day after) mentally.

Okay if he’s usually very responsible and reliable, then I’m inclined to agree with others that this is a one-off. You should have a conversation when he’s come down about how it should never happen again, as you both don’t want it to.

Ah, that makes sense - the microdosing trend.
It was a carefully planned ‘event’ in my youth! Very carefully planned.

Just to add, I still think 28 is very young. Especially as you indicate that’s he’s had a relatively sensible 20s. I really got into partying and making the most of my 20s at the age of 27, after a realisation that I had mis-spent the early part of my 20s (doing lots of exams / qualifications rather than settling down). The feeling of “shit, what am I doing with my youth” can be very hard to ignore.