AIBU to question using spinster and old maid for single women

[Chocolatelabsarebest]

AIBU to wonder why some people feel that it is ok to use the word “spinster” and “old maid” to refer to unmarried women ? What is wrong with the word “single “?
I thought those words had fallen out of use!! So why have I seen these words used with reference to Ann Widdicombe?

It is not on current marriage certificates, no.

Did Ann Widdecombe come across as a person who'd give a damn about being called a spinster?

You must be thinking of a different Ann Widdecombe to me.

That was despicable. Apparently it was written before the murder investigation was announced, but so uncalled for.

Probably just as well not to dwell on Boulton's life choices.

ive never heard these terms used in real life.

As I said in another post it doesn’t matter whether she minded or not. It really doesn’t. It’s misogynistic language. Same as how “oh but my Asian mate calls himself the P word all the time” doesn’t fly when it comes to racist comments.

It said spinster on my marriage certificate. I had to give it to the court so I could get a divorce certificate. So I’m not technically a spinster. I’m called Madame by French speakers and Ma’am by speakers of some other languages but they have no idea whether I was ever married.

I have, but mainly by younger women and not in a pejorative way.

Yep I HATE it. If you are an older single woman and heaven forbid child free, you get referred to as “old maid”, “spinster”, “crazy cat lady”, “left on the shelf”, “aged milk”, a “hag”, but if you’re the male equivalent, you’re a “bachelor”, a “heartbreaker”, a “nobody could ever tame his heart/hold him down”

Also, films and TV shows have done lots of damage in reinforcing these figures. I was just discussing with my friend the other day how in horror movies, the old man is always the harbinger of impending doom, stoic, wise, or tries (and fails) to save the screaming maiden when she’s being chased to him. The old woman is always crazy, hysterical, an impediment, another obstacle to kill along with the monster/slasher.

I won’t be marrying again, so will take your word for it!

I agree about the racist comments but have reclaimed spinster. Of this parish,

I think these words have negative connotations and reflect societal misogyny.

I think Ann Widdecombe thought that too and used them deliberately to describe herself in an effort to take back control. It is similar to the way some rappers etc use the N word.

Boulton‘s use of them was completely inappropriate - whether or not he knew at the time she had been murdered. His grovelling apology shows he knows he knows he jeopardised his future employment prospects.

‘Confirmed bachelor’ was code for gay, back when being gay was unacceptable.

I don’t care whether Ann objected to being called a spinster or not, in the context of Boulder’s timing, it was misogynistic and that affects all females and how we are perceived in society. He reduced her to her relationship status, something he would not have done to a male politician of the same renown. Further down the line it might be something you could say, when the shock and grief of it has abated, but not on the same day it was announced she was murdered.

I completely agree with you. It’s similar to the way random women over the age of 45 are referred to in the mainstream media as “Granny”.

Yes, and notable how public figures rushed to apologise when it was announced that she had been murdered.