Did she just not want it?

[lloydgrossmanbol]

I bought my mum a handheld fan for her face during this heatwave. Has a thyroid issue so finds it hard to regulate temp.

I bought it for her and she said it didn't work. I asked her to send a video and she didn't.

I got it to return to Amazon and it works fine.

She's one of those weird people who says no to everything. I also bought her a sun umbrella which she used but she said not to at the start. We were outside today which is why I wanted to make sure she was as cool as possible - she also doesn't help herself with water, fans, hats, sun creams etc

Op said "I got it to return to Amazon and it works fine", not "Amazon said it works fine"

Stop taking her places. It's clearly no fun for either of you.

Form for being overbearing, infantilising your mother, etc. Did you bother to read past the first line? Give YOUR head (not heD) a fucking wobble.

You are patronising as hell to people on here, I feel sorry for your mother right now as it comes across as patronising to her too. As I said, if you’d bothered to continue reading, there’s CLEARLY a back story or this one thing wouldn’t be bothering you so much. Without sharing that, you sound completely unreasonable. Presumably your mother successfully got you to adulthood without needing you to parent her… so why have you started now?

By the way, you didn’t mention once in your OP that your mother is disabled (a thyroid condition isn’t usually classed as a disability - I don’t even know if it ever is to be honest). You also haven’t mentioned her age. You could be 20 years old buying your 36-46 year old mother a fan for all we know from your post. Or maybe you’re 70 buying a 90 year old who’s housebound a fan? Could have been pertinent info to include in an OP.

Starting to look like you’re bored to be honest.Plus you have terrible taste in bolognese sauces!

Where is that poster making assumptions? They literally only asked you questions.

Are you new to the internet and forums? When you don’t provide enough information in your posts, people will ask you questions to clarify details, even more so in AIBU. In your post, information like your mother’s age, are there other family members to support her and the clear history between you was crucial to be able to form an opinion or not.

You won’t tell us how old your mother is, which makes me think (that’s what an assumption is by the way - thinking a certain thing must be true based on other things, but not being told for certain) that she isn’t even remotely elderly. You sound either extremely young in your writing style, or possibly just not very intelligent and extremely impatient and patronising. You said someone had “psychotic” mind reading skills earlier - I presume you meant “psychic”… but even that didn’t make sense in terms of the post you were responding to.

She didn’t use the fan, did you end up at a and e?

Because it's relevant, and I've made no assumptions.

If, for example, your mother is 42, it's a different circumstance that if she's 92....

Of you have siblings who can share caring it's relevant.

You said that you had to take her out as it was a family event. I only asked if you invite her to only family events. Because it's important if you are doing things to help her by limiting the times she can endanger herself.

And it's all relevant because of you're the only family she has, then you have the control to organise events where she won't endanger herself, or you can just not invite her. And if you have siblings etc, they can surely be responsible for inviting and caring for her?

If you want people to support your position, give them relevant information 🤷

I didn't fancy a trip to a and e with her
Yeah and I don't want a heat exhausted elderly parent with me....
Unfortantly we had a planned day out and didn't want her fuckery
Form for what? Making sure my disabled mother doesn't overheat in a heatwave? Ok.

Yes, I'm sure you would have calmly taken it back and said "No problem, mother."

I am not remotely weird thanks. Neither did I say people should lie?! I said she didn't want it so stop buying her things she didn't ask for. It's not rocket science.

You are getting a hard time on here OP. I think it was a bit pass agg of your DM to claim the fan didn’t work, putting the blame on you for buying an inferior product,

In reply to some posters I’ve got thyroid issues and I love love my fan. And there’s no way a traditional fan can be as effective. My fan has four different power settings.

And you are incredibly unkind. But well done for popping all that energy into a nasty reply!

How old is she? My DM is mid 80s and she has already been to A&E due to dehydration. Since then there have been a couple of occasions when she was clearly heading that way because she said she went out, came home had a large glads of water and then a large cup of tea and then realised she had been feeling “off” and only realised about the “off” feeling after she had finished the tea. It’s so frustrating. If I remind her to keep drinking water, she gets annoyed with me. I’ve decided not to mention it any more because, in the end, she does not appreciate my care and it is her problem not mine.

Many people do distance themselves from very difficult and ungrateful parents. You obviously don't feel able to do that, but unless you put your foot down about some of her difficult behaviours, nothing will ever change and you will continue to feel resentful.

YANBU, my elderly mother who I am fairly LC with due to many reasons complained that she couldn’t read things. I bought her a pair of ready readers. She took them and sorted out all her meds that she hadn’t managed to read the labels to before. Read a few items of mail and then handed them back to me. I said no that they were for her to keep. She shouted at me that she didn’t want them.🤷‍♀️

Boo fucking hoo.

unkind how? By calling out the fact the OP has been an utter bitch to everyone replying trying to help her? By being exhasperated that the OP refuses to provide more details which suggests it’s more likely to be a her issue than her mothers, as anyone who’s mother has form for being difficult will tell you all about it? Or by refusing to believe this poster who made a racist comment on another thread, claimed on the other thread that they are disabled, but here it’s their mum (they may both be, but why only mention one) and only started posting around 6pm last night with rather inflammatory comments clearly designed to piss people off is actually a genuine poster, posting in good faith?

it’s too hot to deal with this shit.