Did she just not want it?

[lloydgrossmanbol]

I bought my mum a handheld fan for her face during this heatwave. Has a thyroid issue so finds it hard to regulate temp.

I bought it for her and she said it didn't work. I asked her to send a video and she didn't.

I got it to return to Amazon and it works fine.

She's one of those weird people who says no to everything. I also bought her a sun umbrella which she used but she said not to at the start. We were outside today which is why I wanted to make sure she was as cool as possible - she also doesn't help herself with water, fans, hats, sun creams etc

I wouldn’t bother planning things with her if she’s known for causing problems like that. Or at least, don’t plan anything that you know she’ll purposely be a pain about. You have my sympathies; mine is also like this. I dropped the rope and let her get on with it on her own.

So don't go with her....

Better still, leave her at home in the first place if she's prepared to make herself so ill whilst out with her kids 🤷

Aren't people allowed to do nice things for others once they're adults?

Why does your DH buy you a Christmas/Birthday present? If you wanted what he gave you, you would have bought it alo...

Maybe it's a family event and I'm not a weirdo

She's my mother so that wouldn't work

She didn't have to lie. So yea she can do right instead of wrong

I'm 63 and I wouldn't want them either. It's just more clutter.

I'm perfectly capable of keeping cool without assistance, she probably is too so ask her if she would like something, before you buy.

She's one of those weird people who says no to everything.

She did have to lie because when she tells you she doesn't want things you ignore her and force them on her. She can't get it right can she.

Most successful parent purchases ever:
Dad - colour laser printer.
Mum - jigsaw light.

Worse: meta portal, throw, heated hand warmer.

No
.

I told her she doesn't have to have it.

I'll get it and if she doesn't want it I'll have it.

She was perfectly fine with the umbrella I got.her..

Oh they sound good

You sound quite overbearing and fussy. Also, if you’re as passive aggressive to your mother as you have been to pretty much everyone on this thread, I’m not surprised she fibs to you rather than just telling you she doesn’t want a fan.

She's one of those weird people who says no to everything

And you’re one of those weird people who refuses to take no for an answer. Which is why your mum lies to you.

Passive aggressive isn't what you mean.

Stop being a xxxx and look at the bigger picture

You got her something she didn't want. But it's her fault because she is a mum and you are a person.

It absolutely is what I mean and yes, I am looking at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is you.

Unfortantly she can't be reasoned with

She doesn't want it. Only buy her things she says she needs. Not things you think she does. Would you like her buying you things you don't want?

A handheld Spanish style fan is as effective as those little portable ones anyway.

You're one of those people that don’t have many friends and wonder why - when’s it’s blatantly obvious to everyone around you!

Bit of a weird thing to write. You ok Hun?

Than she can say she didn't find it useful and give to back. Not saying it's broken..

Why are you so weird and think people should lie

How old is she? Could she be losing capacity? If she won’t take advice to keep cool don’t take her out.

Maybe she lied because you’ve got form for this and she is trying to not appear ungrateful.

You are choosing to buy her things YOU think she wants. If you had asked her in advance, and she had said yes she wanted it, then lied like this you’d have a point. So try asking up front.

Re the fan, message her now and say “good news, Amazon are replacing the broken fan, it will be with you tomorrow.” See what she says. She’ll either have to fess up or you’ll find that she really was having an issue you couldn’t replicate and she will be pleased.

I suspect though there's a massive backstory regarding your relationship, and I suspect that will be pertinent. Whether you are reasonable or not will very much depend on your history.

Form for what? Making sure my disabled mother doesn't overheat in a heatwave? Ok.

Give your heD awobble

No she's always been like this and it's frigging annoying.

She's the type that take pain relief when she has a head ache but if you stubb your toe and shout ouch she thinks your are awful

The irony of telling a poster that what she said isn’t what she means, on a thread about you not listening to your mother.

Look, she doesn’t want your well intentioned things. If she has to go to A&E due to (what you think is) her own actions, let her. If someone turns up at hospital alone, staff will make sure she’s in the queue, they’ll get someone to wheel her around etc. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you are indispensable and everyone and everything will fall apart unless you intervene.

If she overheats, she’ll get ill, she might go to A&E, she might not. Either way, she’s an adult and can make her own choices.