A man asked me why I crossed the road

[berriesinthesummer]

I was on a walk minding my own business. A man was walking towards me and taking up most of the pavement, so I crossed over to the other side - I would usually cross this road at some point anyway as part of my usual route.

The man then called across the road to ask why I had crossed and ‘am I that scary?’ I just looked around puzzled and said ‘no?’

AIBU to feel a bit unnerved about this? I didn’t cross because he was a man, I would have done if it was anyone taking up most of the pavement as there were parked cars everywhere so it’s a bit awkward to cross people. As I had to cross at some point, I may as well have done it at that point. I find walking close to people generally very irritating whoever they are.

We get it, you think the guy was joking. You seem to have buried your head in the sand, good luck.

I think in all probability he likely was, yes.

But this has nothing to do with people rewriting the OP’s words for her.

It doesn't matter why you crossed the road. He was a twat.

Well he needs to keep his comic talent hidden. What a clown. Oh wait…

What are the chances of the OP also being, actually...a man?

None. There is no chance.

For were she a bloke, there would have been no calling.

A man saying something to a woman 😮
How very dare he, scumbag!

What a nob. My DS is 19 and he would cross the road to avoid making a lone woman uncomfortable.

Oh so did I! Disappointed now.

Bu why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens hadn't been invented.

"Am I that scary?"
"No, but I am".

Accompanied by your best serial killer grin.

Sounds like he was trying to intimidate you. Awful behaviour. Any decent bloke would have crossed the road before you felt the need to.

Yes, it's always great to joke about women beind afraid of men just because men so often rape, bash, and murder them.

Why would you even say that to a stranger in the first place? What the hell is wrong with some people 🤦🏼‍♀️

To get to the other side
Surely

It doesn’t really matter if he shouted, crossed the road or anything else. There was no reason for him to interact with OP. Unless he has lived in a cave for the last forty years he should know that many women feel anxious, nervous or even terrified if approached in the street by an unknown man. As someone who was attacked in the street by a man when I was fifteen I can count on one hand the amount of times I have walked alone at night and unless it’s a very busy area I wouldn’t walk alone in the day either. I am in my sixties and that fear has never left me. An interaction like this would have frightened me. It sounds ridiculous when I write this but it’s the truth. If men could just think before they act, but unfortunately some ( not all) men get a thrill from scaring women.

'A silly joke that didn't land'.

OK. I get the urge to be a bit dismissive and suggest OP may be being overly sensitive about a silly joke, but let's just pick that apart a little bit.

Even if it was meant in a lighthearted sort of way, why is he, a lone man, making a 'silly joke' which involves shouting across the road at a lone woman?

And a joke which - even in a lighthearted way - includes an insinuation that she might find him 'scary'?

The 'silly joke' (if that's what it is) is a dig at the idea that a lone woman might want to go out of her way to avoid a man walking towards her.

At best it is insensitive, extremely poor taste, and smacks of complete ignorance.

At worst it's not a 'silly joke' at all and is said to intimidate and make him feel superior, and is potentially going to stop a woman feeling safe going out without having to put up with random men shouting at her.

'Didn't land' indeed.... 🙄 You can say that again.

And arguing about the semantics of 'shouting' just distracts from the point. OP stated he called across the road - you have to raise your voice to get someone to hear you from the other side of the road.

The kind of man who would confront you like this is exactly the kind of man you should cross the road to avoid. Entitled twat. Ignore in future.

Because “not all men”

He was probs “one of the good guys”

Sorry that happened to you. Hes a dick.

Time for a cheery two fingured salute!

Even if it was meant in a lighthearted sort of way, why is he, a lone man, making a 'silly joke' which involves shouting across the road at a lone woman?

Because he's a twat.

But that doesn't mean it wasn't possibly a joke that didn't land.

Twats make jokes too.

It doesn't matter if he was joking.

It was ignorant and in poor taste.

Saying to the OP 'it was just a joke that didn't land' makes it sounds like you are defending him and suggesting OP needs to suck it up because it was just a joke.

You're saying you think he's a twat so why are you downplaying what he said?

He IS a twat and it's not OK that he shouted across the road at a lone woman - EVEN if he was joking.

What do you mean by this?

Make privilège right there.
I cross the road sometimes when I see a man coming from the other direction and I don’t feel comfortable/safe etc etc . It’s my choice. What’s it got to do with him?

I walk a lot, and I’ve noticed men like to be near you, and have some kind of interaction with a woman. Whereas women tend to do the opposite with men.
So he’ll get offended when you cross.
I’ve noticed if a man is in the distance walking towards me, he’s looking at me the whole time and getting to ready to have some kind of contact. I’m avoiding looking at him and working out if I can cross yet or just leave maximum distance.
Men do get really offended and ego hurt by this stuff, we’re just either being polite and leaving space or being safe.

I know you find this difficult to understand, but I and a few other posters on this thread think it was possibly a joke that didn't land 🤷‍♂️

That's the long and the short of it.

It doesn't mean anyone is dismissing anything, it doesn't mean the OP needs to suck it up, it doesn't mean anyone is downplaying anything.

It simply means that we (I) think it was possibly a joke that didn't land.

I would t have even responded.