A man asked me why I crossed the road

[berriesinthesummer]

I was on a walk minding my own business. A man was walking towards me and taking up most of the pavement, so I crossed over to the other side - I would usually cross this road at some point anyway as part of my usual route.

The man then called across the road to ask why I had crossed and ‘am I that scary?’ I just looked around puzzled and said ‘no?’

AIBU to feel a bit unnerved about this? I didn’t cross because he was a man, I would have done if it was anyone taking up most of the pavement as there were parked cars everywhere so it’s a bit awkward to cross people. As I had to cross at some point, I may as well have done it at that point. I find walking close to people generally very irritating whoever they are.

I agree. Calling "Good morning!" to your neighbour across the street is entirely normal and shouting TO them; demanding to know why a stranger crossed the road near you is shouting AT them.

"Well, you are now."

No, shouting at the OP in this context would be aggressive.

Calling across to her wouldn't be.

I think this is quite obvious in context.

And now we have 'demanding' when the OP said he asked?

Honestly, it's like a creative writing class on this thread 😳

@berriesinthesummer the fact he assumed it was anything to do with him and then shouted is the sign of a guilty conscience or someone who has a screw loose!!

Although I would have shouted back "the same reason as the chicken "

Quite. But the male aggression apologists must try to convince themselves otherwise. Bless them!

‘Yes, ugly too!’ 😀

People wanting to make a joke don’t cross the road to confront a woman though.

Ignore them and don't validate them

@ArseSkinForAFriend "Sounds like a joke that didn't land."

Bet you £50 quid he wouldn't have said it to a bloke. Or said anything to a bloke in the same circumstances for that matter.

Same - I'd have put a puzzled face on and said " to get to the other side?!"
😁

He didn’t

When did he cross the road to confront her?

I honestly feel like I'm reading a completely different thread.

The fact that he questioned what you did makes him part of the problem.

Gawd. Yeah it's clearly ridiculously intrusive and aggressive to question why a random walked where they did on a public street?!

Urgh I wish these men could try being a woman for a while, then ask him why you crossed the road

I would have said ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’

"Fuck off weirdo" would have been my response.

Ok shout across the road then. It’s not jokey behaviour, is it?

When did you last shout across the road to stranger? It’s confrontational.

And again, can you point out where the OP said he shouted across the road?

Because she said he 'called across' it.

Unless you know more than she does?

If he notices a woman crossing the road away from him what he really needs to do is recognise why that might be and then get on with demonstrating she has nothing to fear by just carrying on with his day. I know you were going about your day OP and crossing the road had nothing to do with him but I can think of a few women I know who, due to previous horrible experiences with men, might well have crossed over to avoid him and would have found his questioning of their behaviour really threatening.

Decent men are aware their presence can be intimidating for some and take steps like @Mycatmax’s DS to actively show they are not a threat. This man is either hard of thinking or slightly getting off on the idea you apparently felt the need to change your behaviour. If he’s offended by the idea that a woman might cross the road to avoid close contact with him because he sees himself as a decent man then he needs to use a bit of imagination and realise it’s not about him and his feelings.

What do you think a call across the road is, a whisper?

I do this all the time OP especially if I am running and/or the person has a dog.

Sometimes I cross back over once I've passed them, so am waiting for someone to challenge me! At which point my response will be "because you have a dog" or "because I like a pavement to myself".😎

Well it's not a shout is it? As you said yourself that would be aggressive.

If you see a neighbour across the road do you shout 'Good morning' aggressively or do you just call across as the OP said this man called across with his question?

Either way, there's no point in you or anyone else posting words that the OP has not chosen to use, despite the fact she was actually there.

To get to the other side.

Duh.