AIBU to hate DH wolf-whistling at me?

[Bupcake]

With the warmer weather, I’ve been wearing more in the way of short skirts and low-cut tops than usual. Nothing racy, just typical hot weather clothing. Every time I come into the room wearing something a bit “skimpy”, DH wolf-whistles at me. I HATE it and have told him so; he tries not to do it so much but sometimes “forgets”.

However, he thinks it’s weird that I don’t like it - his view is that we’re married and it’s good that he finds me sexy. I just find it all a bit cringeworthy and don’t like feeling that that’s how he’s looking at me.

Leaving aside the fact that he hasn’t stopped doing it (though doesn’t do it anywhere near as much as he used to), is it weird that I dislike it?

The only thing that really matters is that you don't like it, have asked him to stop, and he hasn't.

Personally it wouldn't bother me at all, it's my husband showing he thinks I'm fit. He can like my body as well as my mind 😂

I think his argument is that he thinks I should appreciate that he still finds me sexy, but I’m quite self-conscious and find it uncomfortable to feel that he’s “eyeing me up” like that all the time when I’m just trying to relax at home. But he says that’s weird.

Fascinated by this. I have hit watch.

YANBU. My husband doesn’t wolf whistle but the staring and comments I hate too. I too am self conscious and hate it. He stops if I tell him to but he doesn’t understand why I hate it.

If you don’t like, you don’t like it, and that should be respected. I personally would hate it from any other man, but wouldn’t mind it from my husband. I would find it extremely annoying though, if he carried on doing something I hated.

🤦‍♀️

I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all but that’s completely irrelevant, if you’ve asked him to stop he should stop. It’s not “weird” that you dislike it, you don’t have to justify feeling a particular way about it

Why the face palm?

I like to be appreciated but this would annoy me too - the fact that he's not respected your request for him to stop is the problem here

See, it would make me feel like I was constantly sexually available. That he was looking as me as a sex object, while I was busy being a person. I’d worry he was about to interrupt whatever I was doing by groping me, and angling for sex.

It’s totally different from when you’ve dressed up specially, ready to go out.

Men can’t win these days, they show they are attracted to you, they get told not to. They’re not being affectionate enough, they get accused of an affair.

id be flattered if DP wolf whistled when I walked into a room

Why do you find your husband finding you sexy cringy ? Mine does this .. it makes me feel loved and appreciated.. because he’s great at the day to day appreciation.. but sometimes it’s lovely to know he still fancies me ..

I’ve noticed the times I don’t like it, are when I’m with someone I’m not that attracted to. It feels weird and cringey.
If I’m with someone I want to have sex with and am attracted to then I love it. It’s sexy as hell.
I now couldn’t be with someone I’m not attracted to.

I wolf whistle my husband .. almost daily. Particularly when he’s getting changed. We’ve been together nearly 25 years, he’s 63 years old, and if I can’t show him he’s still sexy, then who can?

Exactly this .. mine is 65, find him extremely sexually attractive and tell him !

I think this is it. I’m menopausal, trying to get through the day and half the time I can’t be bothered with sex, but this makes me feel like he’s constantly looking at me and thinking about sex.

Yuk. I would make it quite clear that he sounds like a pervert and if he values the marriage he'll stop. And if you have kids, what a vile example to set.

Do you feel self-conscious about your appearance in general? I do, and I do find it uncomfortable to know that DH is ogling me when I’m getting dressed etc. It feels like it’s turning me just existing in the world into some sort of performance to be observed and appreciated.

However in the end it is nice to know he finds me attractive so I try not to make a big deal of it.

Yes, I’m very self-conscious in general. I’ve always hated how I look, and now that I’m piling on the pounds in menopause it’s so much worse.

Jeez he’s your husband. You know how his brain works. If some random wolf whistled then yuck. My dh is rubbish with words. A wolf whistle works for him.

Im sure this is unpopular but I don’t believe a wolf whistle from the man you married is in anyway inappropriate.

As a PP poster said, what matters is that you don’t like it and that should be respected. I would question why you say you don’t like that he sees you like that! You don’t like that your husband sees you as a sexy woman?

For what it’s worth, I sometimes whistle at my husband. He’s 72, but still sexy 😃

Not unpopular with some of us on the thread. I’m surprised that so many women here would be offended by this. It’s rather sad.

Yes, it's weird. If you're still passionate about him and still fancy him. Why would you be annoyed with him finding you attractive? Or is it just the sound of the whistling? It might be the repetition you know. Like hearing the same joke over and over. Is it annoying you loads more now than the first time he did it?

I’d address the sex issue before the rot sets in and he starts wolf whistling someone else.

It’s not weird or sad to not want to be objectified when you are just going about your everyday life in a female body. He needs to improve his game if he thinks that’s how to make you feel good.