Would it be weird to have a babyshower with a second pregnancy when I didn't for my first.

[Whydoweedsgrowsofast]

I am pregnant with my second child. I didn't want a babyshower during my first pregnancy as I was too thankful just to be pregnant (fertility issues) and didn't want to jinx it. I have also never been a fan of U.S. style daft present giving grabby babyshowers.

I still have the same issues, in fact this pregnancy has been much harder for various reasons however I am feeling like a babyshower would be fun.

Not daft games or expectations of presents but just a gathering of friends to celebrate that I am completing my family. At times it has felt like this would never happen.

Would it be weird though? I should also add that we did and will have a welcome to the world party within the babies first year.

YABU - that is weird Stick to your opinions

YANBU - it's always good to have a party.

In real life definitely not, arrange the shower Have a fab time

on mumsnet you’ll get different answers though, they seem to hate them on here

I think it would be lovely to have one if you didn’t the first time. Presumably everyone you invite will know why you didn’t have one last time.

Congratulations

People will still feel obliged to bring gifts, even if you state otherwise as that is the nature of the event. Just keep that in mind.

Maybe I just don't call it a babyshower. I really don't want gifts my house is overfull as it is.

Suggested party names please.

Just book a meal out with friends and say you wanted to see everyone before you’re thrown back into the depths of newborn

Why does it need to have a name? Why not “I’m having a small gathering at my house”?

Your post suggests that it would be you throwing your own shower? You can’t do that!

"have also never been a fan of U.S. style daft present giving grabby baby showers.

In my experience, the baby showers I have attended have never been daft and the mum-to-be has never been grabby. They've always been fun and it was really fun buying a gift for the new baby. I did go to one where the mum to be created an online wish list, her own family lived out of country and it did make it easier to buy a gift as duplicates were avoided, or too much of one item and none of another, so it was practical. In that case, there were three of us that went in on a gift. We also took turns dropping dinner off for a couple weeks, or so. To each their own, though. In OP's case, if she's organizing it, but doesn't want gifts, then definitely don't call it a shower, invite friends over to meet the baby and offer tea and scones, for example. Some might bring a gift and that's ok. It's nice to gush over a new baby and the mum. 🤗

Just don’t. Baby showers are naff and just grabby.

Just call it a party. A friend of mine had a really lavish party on a random birthday, but it was after she had had her 4th baby and she told me it was a kind of celebration of her being back after the birthing years! The main thing is you want to have a party and celebrate. So don’t fight that, life is too short. If you call it a baby shower though people will bring gifts and you might find men decline etc and start to follow all of those traditions etc

Only you know if your friends would enjoy it or not. Some people love them, my friend circle (including me) really don’t. I think it’s nice you said you don’t want any presents though so I’d just make that clear. Do something low key, don’t be annoyed at people if they can’t make it.

Why? Who is meant to if not me?

Agreed. Horrible American import.

I think it’s fine to arrange it yourself just don’t call it a baby shower, it sounds like you just want a gathering of your nearest and dearest and no presents and I think that’s fine.

I went to one once, I was already dreading it, but the mum to be was in a mood nearly the whole time barking at people to get out of the kitchen, they bought some Iceland economy burgers for a BBQ which were inedible as they weren’t cooked properly (neither was the chicken) they made us do stupid games such as wrapping toilet roll around each other to look like a nappy (this was after all the men disappeared down the pub, as was the plan, and I wanted to go with them but of course couldn’t)

I think that’s what people on here think of when they think of baby showers.

When i had my 2nd - i called it a 'baby celebration' and had only invited family as at the time with my 1st my family ruined it and my friends had to pick up the pieces after my family fell out with me. The phrase "baby shower" felt tainted after my family's behaviour at the time.

Nothing wrong at all with having a celebration. I don’t think you need to specifically call it anything - just “Baby Two is shortly to arrive and I’d love to get all my nearest and dearest together for a lovely lunch before life gets manic.” You can specify no gifts are expected as you already have everything; some people will bring small gifts anyway, some people will prefer to wait until baby is born and bring something then when they come to meet them.

But equally, I quite like baby showers. It’s just celebrating an important part of a friend’s life at a time when they have more capacity to enjoy seeing friends and be a bit silly than in the weeks or months after birth when they might not want endless visitors. If they get over the top and come with a lot of obligations for guests, that’s more to do with the individual rather than being a feature.

A family member or close friend. I’ve only been to about 3 but two of those were total surprises for the mum-to-be and the other she knew about but it was all organised by her Sister.

Same vibe as a hen-do. Odd to organise your own.

Forgive me if I’ve misunderstood, but if your family were idiots and your friends had to pick up the pieces, shouldn’t it have been the friends who were invited to the second celebration??

Urgh. Me, me, me. How can you say you think they're grabby then have not one but two parties! What t
On earth is a 'welcome to the world' party? Double number of parties... Double number of gifts and attention. But not grabby? Just have a first birthday party when that event comes around like normal people.

I think I am maybe not understanding babyshowers. I want to have a party, probably at a pub where I can sit and chat to friends male and female. I will happily put a bit behind the bar and organise a buffet but I just want a celebration that something I had almost lost hope for is actually happening.

You can invite people to any event you want to throw. Don't worry about organising it yourself, it's a party you don't need to comply with people's expectations.

Maybe don't call it a baby shower or some guests will feel compelled to bring gifts or expect silly games. It can just be a gathering because baby is nearly here and you want to see everybody now.

So you want not one but two parties to celebrate becoming pregnant? Cringe.

Doesn’t the ‘welcome to the world’ party (which I assume is the equivalent to a christening?) cover that?

Well a welcome to the world party is instead of a christening or religious celebration. As none of these celebrations cost my guests I feel it is fine to have parties. My guest know and respect my requests not to bring presents, I sort food and drink so I don't see how wanting to celebrate makes me grabby.

By that point I am fully occupied with newborn and older child.

I suppose I enjoy socialising with friends and host quite a bit but my friends always seem to enjoy this, apparently peculiar, habit.

Maybe I won't mention how many parties I hosted around getting married.