Would it be weird to have a babyshower with a second pregnancy when I didn't for my first.

[Whydoweedsgrowsofast]

I am pregnant with my second child. I didn't want a babyshower during my first pregnancy as I was too thankful just to be pregnant (fertility issues) and didn't want to jinx it. I have also never been a fan of U.S. style daft present giving grabby babyshowers.

I still have the same issues, in fact this pregnancy has been much harder for various reasons however I am feeling like a babyshower would be fun.

Not daft games or expectations of presents but just a gathering of friends to celebrate that I am completing my family. At times it has felt like this would never happen.

Would it be weird though? I should also add that we did and will have a welcome to the world party within the babies first year.

YABU - that is weird Stick to your opinions

YANBU - it's always good to have a party.

Don’t call it a baby shower, otherwise guests will assume they have to bring gifts, and many of them will find an excuse not to attend.

As none of these celebrations cost my guests I feel it is fine to have parties. My guest know and respect my requests not to bring presents

So people turn up to a party / event and don't bring gifts or put money in a card? That's incredibly unusual. Even when people specify no gifts, plenty ignore the request, as they feel it's rude to turn up without bringing anything.

Thanks. I am getting the idea that I don't have a clue about babyshowers.

I do know how to throw a party my friends will enjoy though so I will just do that.

I just had my first ever baby shower and I'm expecting number 3!

I always thought they were a bit of an American concept and avoided them before. Was a complete surprise, had no idea it was happening till I walked in and it was honestly lovely. They took me to an art cafe, we had coffee and cake and created things for the babies room. Fab couple of hours with lovely people.

Celebrate the bump OP, think we should be taking any and every reason to gather our community and make memories tbh.

Well seeing as a friendship group we have agreed this behaviour and reiterated it for years it's becomes established. You might bring a bottle if there is something you want to drink out of the norm, or possibly just a bottle anyway, but anything more than that and a card is a no.

Long story short - My friends were helping to organise a baby shower for me but my family tried to do the same but without telling me and had booked and paid for a location that was not suitable then they just attacked my friends atm. It was so embarrassing and uncomfortable that they never turned up or apologised for their actions/ reactions. When I was pregnant with 2nd (which i never thought would happen at times due to health) I wanted a low key, stressless event so my eldest could attend and feel a part of the celebrations.

I think, if I’ve read the OP posts properly that it’s not her intention to be grabby and receive lots of gifts, it’s her intention to have a gathering with friends before the chaos and disruption of the arrival of a newborn.

but thanks for your post, my bingo card is getting ticked off, grabby was on there!

@Whydoweedsgrowsofast Told you people are weird about baby showers 😂

I agree that not calling it a Baby Shower is best. Limit the guests to very close women.

Call it a Coming Up For Air and Advice on No. 2 Luncheon. Your place, cool drinks and you supply the food. Have some outdoor games for the older kids and their Dads.
Play under sprinkler, water balloons, face painting, finger painting, play dough.
Dad run.

Ask Dad to BBQ.
The Dads will also gain support and strengthen their father bonds.

State No Gifts Please.

Secret ballot if good ideas - open and discuss.
Ask all friends to leave their phone number for if you need a friend.

Yeah I'm getting that. I completely get that I have the wrong end of the stick on babyshowers however not sure why hosting parties is somehow bad.

I host a bunch of parties through the year and don't expect presents at most of them. Why should people buy me something because I happen to be hosting?

Maybe I won't mention how many parties I hosted around getting married.
Please do tell

I agree with you. It’s entirely your prerogative to be able to celebrate and catch up with people before your baby arrives.

ignore people saying you’re grabby

"Showers" are thrown by family, friends, co- workers, etc. A person could have more than one.

Great idea to have a party now. Totally valid to have not had a party prior to your first. Don't overthink this. Tell your tribe you're hosting a party. Tell them why you're having a party. Enjoy the party.

Before baby showers became common lots of people used to have a get together before their baby arrived in a sort of ’we won’t be able to do this for a while’ sort of way. No one bought gifts, because that happened after the birth. Just don’t call it a baby shower and be clear what it is and you’ll be fine. Fine to organise yourself if not a shower and no expectation of presents

I suppose it could work if you have a group of friend and family that are all local and very sociable. In my circle most people need to travel for any sort of event so they’re less frequent.
Why a pub though and not just a garden BBQ thing? Is it a space issue? Otherwise easier to manage all the toddlers at home and keep it casual.
I am a typical mums netter though and in the baby shower hate camp!

Pub because it is easier to be central and convenient to everyone. There is a very family friendly one we often gather at. Not many of that group actually have children and those that are around are mostly older.

It may end up 2 parties to accommodate different groups but I now know better than to use the babyshower word. No one will think anything of it then as I am known to host for all sorts of reasons so it will be what I want. A relaxed gathering of friends to chat and enjoy each other's company.

Actually a second “baby shower” is called a Sprinkle and it’s there to congratulate you as you finish your family.
You absolutely can host your own sprinkle if you are not expecting games and gifts.

Have a baby shower and call it that! Just speculate that you are already full of baby items and you really don't need anymore.
Make it clear on the invite that it is just a chance to celebrate before baby comes along and life gets crazy!
I've been to two baby showers and they were both for my grandchildren and yes, we took gifts because we had already agreed to buy those items for the baby.
I've also been to one celebration of life (after baby had been born) and didn't take anything.
Just do what you want OP, life's too short to worry about anyone else's opinions!