Fucking entitled men and their bullshit comments

[Needchocolateandsleep]

So sick of men who feel as though they have the right to make uninvited, unhelpful, unnecessary comments.

Today driving - went to drive past a car on left that I thought was parked. As I went to drive past, I suddenly realised he wasn't parked, he was just stopped. I waved to apologise and started to reverse back behind him.

However, white van man then drove straight up behind the stopped car - even though he could see I was starting to reverse. Which then prevented me reserving. He then shouted at me 'you've got kids in the car you know!''

Seriously like wtf? Just why?? Why feel the need to shout?? Why feel the need to try and shame me?? Why feel the need to attack my competence as a mother??

Yes I made a mistake, acknowledged it to other driver (who was absolutely fine btw as they realised what I'd done) and was attempting to rectify it.

Made me so so angry because I can guarantee if I was a man he would not have done this.

Just a couple of months ago I was reserving into a space. Another white van man pulled up beside me to give me a lecture, tell me that I was never going to get in there etc etc. I told him to mind his own business and am proud to say I actually managed it perfectly fine!!!!!

So many incidents of men doing this over the years (not all related to driving...but a lot are!)

Just why do some men feel the need to do this?

Easily done!
What a prick I hope you gave him your best withering stare

I didn't want to swear or cause a scene as the children were with me so just replied 'oh just shut up will you'

But the fury that flashed across his face that I dared to answer back

I'd have been tempted to say

OHMY GOD! Kids?! In the car?! Do I?! Shit do they look like me? Do you think they're mine?? How many?

🙄

Why do you care so much? Unless they are leering or swearing at me I’d just engage in conversation (or not engage as the mood took me.)
”Yes I got that wrong didn’t I? Oh well.”
Where do they go from there if you say that in a friendly tone?

Smile, agree, move on.

With the parking thing, “You’re right, it’s very tight.” Nice smile. Wind up window.

I can offer you solidarity, got told I’m an easy going manager today, I don’t micro manage, just what they like…. Easy going, Easy, haha you’re easy tee hee.
Tee fucking hee, they think they’re hilarious.

Sorry I don’t understand why you needed to reverse. Either there was space in front of him and the flow of traffic needed to pass him or there wasn’t space and you shouldn’t have started the manoeuvre. Whether he was stopped or parked seems more like a metaphysical question. If I was the van driver I’d probably be a bit stunned at your bizarre driving too.

Sorry I missed out because there was then another car coming in front.

But regardless, that's really not the point of the thread...

You handled it well. I would have told him to 'fuck off and keep his opinions to himself'. I have zero tolerance for male bullshit anymore though. 🤣

This is even more confusing
Did you pull out into an oncoming car? And reversing sounds dangerous
In this case he sounds justified in calling you out, you probably took it worse because you felt guilty
Anyone making unwanted comments as someone tries to park is a twat though

My mum at age 66 accidentally went the wrong way on a one way road. The first car that passed had 2 men of similar age...they were shouting indiscriminately at my mum. Next car had a woman about 40 who drove past kindly advised her to put her hazards on. The man I wish I'd got out and punched

🙄🙄🙄🙄

This. Not really about entitled men is it? It’s about being called out for dangerous driving. You went to overtake a car without confirming the oncoming lane was clear.

Or maybe your mum at age 66 shouldn’t be driving…

The fuck? Smile? Why the fuck should she smile at that dickhead.

If people were able to stop to converse about it i hardly think it was a dangerous overtake. This sort of thing happens all the time, the driver she was passing didn't raise an eyebrow, it didn't require a comment from the other driver - they overreacted just bc they like telling off women.

Just why do some men feel the need to do this?

Given your examples I suspect because you don’t exactly project confidence and command of your vehicle when driving. Some
men in particular will pick up on that perceived weakness and let you know what they think. Plenty of other people,
including women, will be thinking similar thoughts, just won’t be vocalising them.

Or maybe she shouldn’t have acted like a spineless twat in front of her children, validating abusive men’s outbursts. People make mistakes when deigning sometimes. Most women wouldn’t have responded by screaming them through the window in front of children

My children are young adults now but I was aware of this when out with them when they were younger - I was fair game to men letting me know that I had transgressed in some way, such as straying momentarily into the cycle path with the buggy.

I used to think the same, that you wouldn’t dare have commented if I was a man.

Although recently, as a middle aged woman, I was ticked off by an older male driver because I dared (accidentally)to have reversed out of a parking space in Marks & Spencer’s car park and was facing the wrong way. It took seconds to rectify but he let me know I’d done wrong.

How do you know he didn’t raise an eyebrow? Were you there?
If there was ongoing vehicle then of course it was dangerous, what bearing does stopping to converse have in that?
And if in your experience “this happens all the time” to you then maybe you should go re-take some lessons.

I don’t drive so haven’t had the same comments but I’m now (just) in my 40s and I’m still getting told I should be smiling by random fucking men I don’t know, including when I am at work in my customer facing role. I’m always polite, always try to be friendly even to some frankly awful people but I’m not able to constantly smile like an American cheerleader.

Naughty men ehh

I'm all here for complaining about aggressive and/or mansplaining men. But tbh your example today doesn't sound that bad. You shouldn't be reversing on the road to correct your initial error. What you describe sounds dangerous, and someone saying "you have kids in the car" isn't a wildly inappropriate response.

Because that’s exactly what the person wanted her to do, to prove his point about the crazy woman or whatever. By not shouting back he’s not got what he wanted, it’s pretty obvious really.
That said, sounds like pretty poor driving from OP.

Ah so it is all men's fault what you did, MN never dissapoints in the blaming men for eveything Olympics

and shock horror I am a female saying this, maybe if I try harder an intelligent ''cool mum'' or the latest highly intelligent insult will be used