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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do some people attract much drama?

86 replies

VerifiedAccount · Yesterday 09:20

I know some people make their own drama either on purpose or through poor choices but there also seems to be a whole group of people who just seem to attract it.

For instance, there is a woman on my FB who I dont follow/interact with but who keeps coming up because I read her posts. In the last month she has taken legal action against her son's school. She suddenly stopped talking about it after naking a big deal over seeinv a solicitor so I guess it went nowhere. Reckons a teacher in another school assaulted her daughter with witnesses and on CCTV but there was no action taken against him and is now kicking up a fuss over someone walking into her and getting upset that the police aren't treating it as assault. Something about BTP too. Then the police apparently threatened to arrest her. She also regularly moans that she is being discriminated against different organisations. It must be exhausting being her.

Then a few years ago there was another lady who seemed attract drama. Don't get me wrong she clearly liked playing the victim but she also had a lot of bad luck and had a few awful cards dealt to her eg her daughter died, someone she thought was a friend ripped her off, there was something about a misunderstanding over church funds etc

I see this in real life too. Some people seem to go from one crisis to another. An ex friend had a crazy time for a few years with various housing issues, boyfriend issues and health issues. I suspect it's still ongoing. She isn't hugely resilient so I don't know whether her "dramas" would have been such big deals for other people but still drama.

Are you someone who just can't seem to live calmly? Or does someone who know crash from one disaster to another? Why do you think that is?

OP posts:
Papster · Yesterday 23:21

OvernightBloats · Yesterday 09:30

Drama attracts yet more drama. It's a vicious cycle for some. Snowballing from one drama to another.

The most tragic example of someone who thrives on drama is Katie Price. Drama is her oxygen!

Unlikely that KP will be involved in misunderstanding over church funds.
A blessing

TY78910 · Yesterday 23:33

So in your first example I’d be taking a lot of that with a pinch of salt and say actually 90% of that is probably fabricated and or exaggerated for attention.

Some people just get a boost from drama, some people (like strings of bad exes etc) will be in a cycle of low self esteem and dependency on dysfunction.

I don’t think people actually attract drama.

5128gap · Yesterday 23:34

They tend to be people who are impulsive, fail to consider consequences and lack the ability to de-escalate situations, going at everything like a bull at a gate rather than in a calm, considered manner.
You see it a lot on here. "My child wasn't invited to a party, so I texted the mum and told her how upset he was, and then she told another mum I was rude, so I called her out on it in the playground..."

mumumental · Yesterday 23:52

Well said @5128gap.

VerifiedAccount · Yesterday 23:58

TY78910 · Yesterday 23:33

So in your first example I’d be taking a lot of that with a pinch of salt and say actually 90% of that is probably fabricated and or exaggerated for attention.

Some people just get a boost from drama, some people (like strings of bad exes etc) will be in a cycle of low self esteem and dependency on dysfunction.

I don’t think people actually attract drama.

I suspect most of what she says is nonsense but I don't know how much she actually believes is true though if that makes sense? I dont think she intentionally lies. She bounces from one thing to another and then never mentions that first thing ever again.

OP posts:
honeyfox · Today 00:08

My MIL is like this. Luckily my DH is an emotionally intelligent person so even though we've been together 15 years he's never given her my phone number.

PenelopeJoanSterling · Today 00:46

i think some dont always realise they cause the drama or they think in any given moment they are doing the right thing etc

FlamingoFloss · Today 00:49

Sounds like my stepdaughter and her mother. There is always drama. They seem to thrive on it

raspberryrisotto · Today 07:04

My XSIL is like this. Loves to whip up a storm over nothing and create a load of drama, whilst having an interesting relationship with reality and telling the truth. My XMIL (her DM) always quietly went along with it and never pulled her up on her behaviour. She doesn’t have many friends…

I stopped trying to be her friend decades ago…

FudgeFudy · Today 08:12

One of my neighbours is very much like this; she's a sixty-something woman who's weirdly like a teenager that can't control their emotions, and she seems to have made a hobby of falling out with people and acting the victim.

Just this week she was on about how she'd been unjustifiably banned from a (very nice) cafe that's recently opened in town because she'd had a blazing row with the owner who was a total arsehole and how it's all so unfair. The owner in question is an absolute gem; one of the nicest men you could hope to meet and who does all sorts for the town, so this seemed odd. Turns out what actually happened is that his 15 year old daughter - who was only helping out as they were short staffed - made a very minor mistake with her order. Rather than accept the genuine apology and wait literally 2 minutes for the mistake to be rectified, my neighbour instead kept on having a go at the daughter to the point where she was crying, and both the mild-mannered owner and some of the clientele were telling my neighbour to fuck off and not come back.

This is the latest in a long line of tales with a similar theme. It's a small town where we live - big village really - so she's really not done herself any favours by falling out with most of it for no good reason.

somekindof · Today 08:59

Histrionic personality disorder is a condition, it is related to BPD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many of the examples described above could be attributed to this. I am surprised that in this day and age it is not more widely known about. Often people are called Narcissistic- casually rather than official diagnosis- when HPD would be closer to the mark.

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