Anyone up? Feeling like a failure

[Northernlights19]

Hi all, I've come to temporary accommodation today because I just can't afford the increase in rent. It's a travelodge for now but at least we have a roof over our heads.
I just feel like I've failed my children. My daughters dad told me I should kill myself. I should be able to provide a stable home. Everything is just so expensive, especially when you're by yourself.

I don't even know what my aibu is or whatever. I'd just like some support if anyone is around.

Aw that shows that you've brought them up with resilience (and positivity and humour)👏My advice is to keep on doing that - maybe put up a few pics that they have drawn or something else personal to make your temporary accommodation more cosy for them, and just keep on making it fun for them. It must be so hard for you, but even if you're feeling low and worried, keep on acting positive for them and making it an adventure, and then that's what they'll remember from this experience. You've got this. x💪

Dear @Northernlights19 you are not in any way a failure. You are looking after your kids and holding everything together. Your ex is VILE.

i hope you have time to read the thread properly as there is some great advice on here. Lots of people have said to tell the school and see what they can offer .

Good luck OP - there's a lot of people rooting for you on this thread. You are a boss lady and you have got this 💪❤️👏

Hi all, thank you everyone for the kind words, advice and support. We're on the bus to school and work now.

Daughters dad does not pay anything currently, I'm going to put a claim in today. Feeling a little more positive after reading everything. Managed a few hours sleep but haven't been able to face eating yet. Haven't spoken to my family about the situation but thinking of reaching out this weekend.

What a waste of space daughter's dad is. If he isn't paying for his own child's keep, he's worthless and his opinions are equally worthless.

I'd second the suggestion that you contact Shelter.

You have provided a roof over there heads
Why care what some probably ex? Says it will never be or come from a positivie experience.
Small steps Op.
No one way of parenting is correct.
I only hate to here a home isnt provided or lost due to alchol or drug use.

Please do reach out to your family, I hope they can offer some support.

Glad you're feeling a bit more positive. Make sure you eat something soon, you need to look after yourself and stay strong.

God, this has given me the rage. A useless loser who pays not a penny to support his own children doesn’t get to have an opinion about their, or your, circumstances. The fact he makes zero contribution to anything means it’s at least partly his fucking fault you can’t afford the rent increase. Someone who is actually a father and a half-decent human being would be helping find a solution for his children. Instead, this loathsome moron is crowing about it and using it as point scoring opportunity. WTAF?!! Don’t let the twat live in your head - his words only count for as much as he brings to your lives, which is less than nothing.

You’re a lovely mum doing an amazing job, OP. I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself in this situation through no fault of your own, and I hope the advice and resources offered on this thread will help you get back on your feet 💐

Well a big problem you have is a useless twat of an ex who isn't/hadn't paid what he should. He should be hanging his head in shame.

Hello everyone,

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circumstances, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. Though, we strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

We've compiled some useful links posted by Mumsnetters into a financial issues webguide, so that people experiencing difficulties can find all the relevant information in one place

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Most bad fathers would say them either.

I'm not sure why people have reported this thread? I haven't asked for anything other than some emotional/moral support. I haven't asked anyone for money or privately messaged anyone. I work full time so I have an income and can feed and clothe my kids etc I just couldn't afford the huge increase in rent alone. @HopeMumsnet it's OK if you need to delete the thread. I didn't mean to make anyone angry by essentially asking for a handhold.

@Northernlights19 I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not a failure. The kids father however is another story. How dare he speak to you like that.
Please contact your family. If you were my daughter & grandchildren I would do all I could.

I have no real advice but wish you all the best & hope things are sorted soon 💐

@CoffeeBeansGalore Thank you so much for your kind message. I will reach out to my mum and stepdad when they're back from holiday, I just don't want to worry them x

I'm not sure either but sod them!

Hope your day has been ok x

Reading your posts I can tell you are a wonderful mum. You are doing what you have to do, in this tough time, to keep your DCs with a roof over their heads. They will always remember how safe you make them feel. Well done for your resilience and bravery. This hard time will pass and your DCs will be so proud of having you as their mother as they grow up. Look after yourself and know things will get better for you.

@Northernlights19

I know I only speak for myself as a parent, but if one of my sons was in financial or housing distress and didn't tell me right away, holiday or no, I'd be furious that I wasn't the first call they made. Whether I was in a caravan in Cornwall or cruising the Med in a yacht I would want to do anything I could, even if it meant coming home. OK, I've spoken my piece and that's all I have to say about that. You make the decision that works for you, you can't be faulted for that.

You are doing the best you can for your DC and that's all any of us can do. Just keep doing what you're doing, seeking out any/all sources of help.

And your Ex can go fuck himself with a porcupine. Asshole. To be saying what he said when he isn't even paying for his own kids. Fuck him, the horse he rode in on, AND the stable he's keeping it at.

Can I borrow these phrases? Gold.
👏

As a parent of adult children myself, I would want to know.

@Northernlights19 hi OP. Did you speak to your parents? Hope all is getting sorted 🤞