AIBU to enforce the under-16 social media ban despite child missing out.

[Spottyblobby]

Can I ask those with teens how you are approaching the social media ban for under 16s?
Since the announcement was made I took the approach to implement it immediately, my thought process being that the government have confirmed it’s harmful to young people, to continue to allow my 15 year old on social media would be the equivalent of buying him cigarettes or alcohol.
He doesn’t see it like this, to him I am the most unreasonable person in the world, he didn’t go to an after party after his prom, when I asked why he said that it was all organised on Snapchat, he hasn’t been out much this summer, when I asked why he said it all gets organised on Snapchat. He doesn’t have numbers for a lot of his “friends” which is on him because when the ban was being voted on I warned him that he may need to get contact numbers off of people but clearly he didn’t do it.
Am I dealing with this the right way, it’s harmful, have it back when you are 16 & can make that decision, OR I’m wrong, it’s only 7ish weeks until his birthday, he’s missing out on what should be a brilliant summer, let him have the apps back? Curious to hear what other parents are doing.

But the point of the gov legislating is to create social change accros the whole population. So that in time the majority of the population accept that social media isn't appropriate for children and young teens to have access to. As a society we're not there yet. We won't be there the day after the legislation comes into effect in 2027. The government recognises this. There will be a massive cohort of tweens and teens who will continue to use social media because it's their normal. That's why the gov has made it clear they're not going to be criminalised for getting around the ban. Over 5 or 10 years that cohort will age out of being affected by the ban and our current preschoolers will have a different experience and different expectations. The benefits of the ban for our current 14 to 15 year olds are pretty negligible. It's naive to think that they'll follow it en masse, just like it's naive to imagine that many teens of that age group have no experience of alcohol, vapes, drugs, porn, 18 rated films, rock and roll music...

Well I’m glad you’ve seen sense but since you already removed things like tik tok what on earth did you think the problem was with WhatsApp? It bet you were a right stickler for the rules during Covid lockdowns OP 😅

I think you should have an honest conversation with your son about how wrong you got this one.

What an awful thing to do to your child. What on earth did you think was going to change in 7 weeks. Smacks of self righteous morality. You've likely damaged your relationship with him significantly.

The ban is for platforms to operate, not parents.

It's not that odd for parents to wait for the government to tell them how to bring up their kids though. They don't want to tell their child no, so they tell their child the government/teachers/leisure facility/whatever made the rules.

Another example would be getting supermarkets to remove sweets from checkouts to avoid pestering.

Maybe parents could just learn how to say no themselves.

However I agree with the OP that if he knew his mother was going to cut off access to Snapchat he could have collected his friends' numbers or used WhatsApp.

I'm fully on board with the ban, but my eldest is 11 and never had anything. at 15 I'd let it ride, it won't cause any more harm than it has so to speak. 2 months off 16 I wouldn't even CONSIDER a ban. ya ridiculous

Possibly not right now but they might after the ban comes in, though it doesn't apply to WhatsApp.

Seriously mad...he has been using it all this time with no harm. He is 16 in a few weeks...let him on again. He will be feeling so isolated.

What are you going to do in 2 years time when all his friends want to drink after a-levels and he’s still 17?

Year 11 are probably going to always be sneaking into social media once a few of them have it. This is about keeping it at that older teen level, not 10 year olds.

The bans not even in yet and he’s nearly 16. Oh come on op! Are you serious? Mental. Congrats, you have damaged your relationship for nothing.

This proves that it's possible for parents to implement a social media ban, there's no need for government intervention (which will require all people older than 16 to input their private data in order to view many websites).

However, this poor lad is a few weeks off 17, how mad is it to ban social media now? All you are doing OP is damaging your relationship with him. Goodness!

I don't blame you. It's mainly morons who use Snapchat.

Poor kid. Almost 16 and it’s not even in place yet !

Probably the most unreasonable thing I've ever heard. You brought forward a ban which punishes your son even though legally it will never impact him. How crazy is that.

In Wales the 20mph speed limit was announced about 9 months in advance. I don't recall anyone slowing down from 30mph in anticipation. In fact most ignore it now, which is probably what will happen with SM

Why do you need the government to tell you something is harmful? Surely you can work it out by yourself.

Quoted wrong poster 🙈

I am very supportive of the ban but I think the impact will be on younger children who have not yet experienced social media.
In your son's case I don't think there is any point in the ban especially if that's how his friends organise their social lives

For the sake of 7ish weeks, I would have just left it! Its not coming into force until spring 2027.

You've basically set him up to fail so no one else is going to enforce it now.

Because the government have been right about so many things? 😂

I agree with the ban but not in this context, you are isolating your son! Tell him no YouTube etc and snap chat only to communicate. Curb his phone use. So many ways to enforce this sensibly. Poor boy.

I think you were trying your best with the information we've been given. It's not easy being a parent, especially with how quickly technology is changing. It sounds like you've got a great son, and I'm sure he'll appreciate having Snapchat and other messaging apps back in situ.