Do I appear to be untrustworthy

[LivelySquid]

I'm happily married. My dh trusts me 100% and I would never cheat on him.
I still like my nights out with friends. However, I'm quite outgoing. My personality and body language can come across as flirty. He gets that and so do my friends and he and they just laugh about it.
I was talking to a male aquaintance on a night out about all sorts, having a laugh. Duting the conversation he asked me if my dh trusts me. Would you be offended by this?
Does this mean I look like I'm a potential cheat throwing myself at people?
I should tone down my personality so I don't give out the wrong impression?
His question has been playing on my mind since then.

Yep, after a shag. Don't worry about it. You can do what you want.

Yes, others probably do think they're in with a chance.

This is why flirty people flirt because they like the 'excitement' of that person then flirting back with them.

But I guess that's their problem.

I think a bit of charm and friendliness is a great social lubricant and can be judiciously employed in many situations, particularly where there’s something you want. I lived in Italy for five years and everybody flirted and it was normal to be greeted with a “Ciao Bella!”

My eldest DD accused me of flirting in the following situations during a trip to London:
Bag check + asking for directions at the o2
Bag check at an exhibition (to be fair, security was extremely good looking and well built😳).
Ordering a drink.
Asking for directions at the shopping centre info desk.

In every case, I was simply being polite, smiley and friendly. There was no additional banter or anything. I’m not naive and I’m sure I detected a couple of ‘looks’ / glances on two occasions - so it was nice to know that I potentially could if I wanted to, but I don’t want to as I’m extremely happily married.

As I said to DD - “I’m married, not dead!” I think there’s possibly been a subtle shift in me as I’ve recently lost a whole load of weight and sorted out my skin. I look/dress/feel so much better (in clothes) and it probably shows in how I carry and present myself.

Just keep doing what you do OP.

Then it’s him. He’s the one who is the red flag. 🚩 🚩 Your discomfort is about what he was actually saying to you.

Ignore him! Everyone has their own relationship boundaries. Bf and I both have what I would describe as outgoing, extroverted personalities but have both been told we have 'flirty' personalities. I am the same with all sexes and adults and its low level jokey conversations, I am a hugger and touchy feely person but I am well aware of my relationship boundaries and also the boundaries of others (for example who aren't huggers). Bf and I are the same, we get it, we trust each other and dont get insecure in the way some other people do.

Each to their own. I know people who are ok with kissing others on nights out - that seems mad to me personally - but if their relationship boundaries permit that then its up to them. Ignore his comment and just keep being you

The thing is, men think anything is "flirty". Smile, laugh, show an ankle... seriously ignore it!

Sounds like he was testing boundaries himself to see if you were going to take a chance on him...

If you would be happy with your DH behaving like you do, then you’re all good!

What behaviour constitutes ‘flirting’ is subjective

I tend to raise an eyebrow when people claim flirting is ‘part of my personality’.

for me flirting includes:

• Spending much more time talking to or being around the person than other people. Seeking them out.
• Physical contact
• Different tone of voice
• Different kind of laugh
• Different body language, eg ‘mirroring’
• lots of compliments to / about the person

It doesn't matter what this bloke thinks.

Your DH clearly trusts you, and that's all that matters. Your DH knows you and loves you and he's mature enough not to be insecure about your personality. Honestly, your relationship sounds a lot healthier than that of most Mumsnetters!

I ‘flirt’ with everyone, male and female. I like people to feel good so I compliment and I smile etc. I know what it’s like to be unhappy so if I’m making someone happy for 5 mins I’m good with that. My husband absolutely trusts me and I love him to bits. And I never let anyone think I’m interested in them. I’m just being nice. You crack on. Sounds like you’re a fun friend.