Employees emails and messages

[friendlytotheend]

Some advice on this situation please? I run a team of staff in a professional environment, it’s my company so I’m the employer and managing director. One employee has recently had some performance issues which we’ve had to be quite firm about (repeatedly not following important procedures). Since then, the communications I receive from her have no hello, hi, dear, no name and will often be along the lines of ‘can I have’ or ‘here’s the thing you asked for’ Etc and quite honestly, it’s starting to grate. Just a ‘hi’ or ‘thanks’ at the end of an email would be a bit more pleasant, it doesn’t take much.

As far as I am concerned, the performance issues were dealt with (we’ve been clear they can’t happen again) and I’ve moved on, but clearly she hasn’t.

Would you raise it or just ignore it?

Thanks
AIBU to let it go
AINBU to raise it with her

You should see some of the one word messages I get from some American customers. I assume its a cultural thing. I reply in kind.

$50? (they are asking for a discount)

Repy

Hi, my best on this is $70. Gingercat.

But still with a greeting and name.

Yes they do, and so did I until the performance issues were addressed.

Then I would probably just do my best to take a deep breath and let it go. As long as it’s not going to clients/customers.

it’s such a silly thing to do as you can move past performance issues but when someone is deliberately a dick you think well I’m never giving you a promotion or a payrise, why would I waste resources or money on someone who reminds me every day they don’t want to be here?

Alison Green who writes the ask a manager blog has been known for pulling people aside and saying “being polite and warm to your colleagues is part of your job. Do you feel you can do that? Or should we talk about you leaving the role?” You could amend that “showing basic respect and courtesy through email convention is a basic expectation for someone holding your role. Do you feel you can do that? Or would you like to talk about resigning?”

I write emails like that and so do my colleagues.

We don't do greetings or sign offs when we send internal emails, as we send a lot of them

Good morning sulky socks

Are you still in a snit about your disciplinary? Previously your emails included the usual hellos and sign-offs, whereas they now are quite abrupt. I’d appreciate it if we could keep communication in the previous professional manner .

Thank you , kind regards, much appreciated

Your boss

I place a high premium on good manners, but in this scenario I would try to let it go. She’s embarrassed at the performance management, and is retaliating by giving you only the bare minimum of respect, but no warmth. It’s immature (is she quite young?), but understandable, and crucially she’s not actually doing any harm, except to your feelings. It sounds like it’s all quite recent - I would ignore and just give her some time for her resentment to settle down.

She’s in her 60s and new to the role.

It sounds very very minor. Let it go

Thanks everyone- I shall ignore and continue to smile 😊

Copilot is pretty useless and who would waste time asking it to draft emails?

Are you kidding?

No don’t ignore it, because you have seen how she deals when a little bit of pressure is applied.

Yeah, it’s not ‘professionalism’ on display here but resentment.

Sounds tricky. I hope you can sort it (or get rid of her).

Well i think if she previously did use greetings and after your chat hasnt, (silly, passive aggressive move of disrespect), I would print them all out and show her the timeline and ask her why she has omitted the greeting since x date. See what excuse she comes up with, watch her flounder and tell her its not acceptable and what standards of basic respect and civility you expect employees to show .........

This happened in my workplace but it was a senior figure doing it to a junior one because the senior one was blaming them for something that wasnt their fault. We did an advanced search and counted how many emails in 8 weeks with greeting, BEFORE the date of incident and how many emails in same timespan afterwards without greeting. The junior colleague sent it to the seniors managers.. ........the senior is suddenly back to including the greeting. And you can imagine, none of us have a high opinion of this senior person. This kind of poor behaviour really shows what they are made of

If I'm starting a fresh email, I usually do put "Hello Fred" or "Hi all," or whatever.

If I'm replying to a mail, I'll quite often just reply, "yes, that's fine," or whatever, no greeting. It depends also on the audience, people I talk to all the time, or someone in a remote department I haven't dealt with before. I have colleagues who have their signatures set with "Regards, Mike" or whoever, do there's always a sign off, but no effort on their part. I vary mine. One colleague got, "yours apologetically" today. But again,like any communication, you need to know who your audience is and adapt accordingly.

However, if they used to do one thing and now don't, I would be asking why, especially if it's not based on any feedback that you know of.

Have you provided any training to your staff on etiquette in the workplace? Never met an employer who has. Either provide the training or accept that this person is free to write their emails however they like. I would remind them that building positive relationships with coworkers is part of their contractual obligations - assuming that's in their contracts..? Also: bit weird to piss off your actual employer like this. Won't they need a reference from you at some point? A quick meeting where you make a joke about this with a different colleague could jog their memory(!)

I’d be more bothered if it’s a change in communication style that coincides with you pulling them up on the performance issues.

so many people on here saying they don’t add “hi” or “thanks” because it’s unprofessional might be okay if that’s they’re style with everyone and they’ve always been this way.

however if someone else has always said hi, or a similar greeting, or added a thanks, then abruptly stops after a performance issue has been raised it would really grate on me too OP!

however it’s not misconduct or poor performance so not much you can do. On that basis I’d be tempted to ignore and act like youve not even noticed - that’s more likely annoy them even more. I’d continue with your usual greeting style as if you’re completely oblivious.

with any luck they’re pissed off and actively looking for another job anyway

I think timing and length of chain counts. I’ll always put a greeting in the first message but if we’re bouncing back and forth from there it feels really weird putting ‘hi’ every time

Yeah I wouldn’t put up with it if it’s changed since having a talk. Have been in this position. It was a downward spiral of the employee not respecting management/owners. The attitude was terrible. Just really rude. Not what we’re used to with our staff, especially as everyone is super happy and we’re super flexible for family time etc. Thankfully they left after more discussions.

How on earth is thanks unprofessional?

Deal with it head on - set expectations that are clear. Ignoring it is setting yourself up for her pushing other boundaries. Uncomfortable conversations are a key part of management.

Email etiquette is irrelevant here.
It is the behavioural change since the performance management that is key

They are looking to punish you for your actions and trying to use any power to do so.. It is a very immature thing to do.

I would probably evidence it and ask them if there is any reason why you have been singled out for this change. The likelihood is they will back down very quickly. By recognising it you are taking away the power that they think they have over you

I have to say I am just this side of polite with one particularly toxic and bullying boss. I do sign my emails off and I am icily professionally pleasant but that’s about it. I don’t and won’t pretend to like her: after the way she has behaved I think it would be undignified to pretend to like her and I find corporate sycophancy hard.

When people are unkind to me needlessly in a professional setting I find it hard to forgive them and move past it to be honest, certainly without an apology. I think pretending to be chummy with someone who has insulted and deliberately undermined you is a bit pathetic.

Are you sure you weren’t unnecessarily brutal during the performance issue period? Could you have upset her more than you realise?

Oh don't be ridiculous, do you understand what anonymous means?

As blunt and rude as this email comes across, this poster is correct in how an email was supposed to be formatted. I say “was” because no one EVER writes like this. I’ve been sending emails for 23 years in my job - to solicitors, estate agents, clients, financial institutions etc. No one has ever written an email like this.