My dd is 17 and has announced tonight she’s going to Marbella with her boyfriend on the 19th. i’ve said no and it’s turned into another massive row. She says she’ll be 18 soon anyway and can’t wait to move in with him because i’m controlling. AIBU to say absolutely not??
They’ve only been together a few months, since she started college. Before anyone says i’m judging him for no reason, i did actually try not to. I spoke to him when he came round, made him a drink, tried asking about college and things he likes. But the more i found out the worse i felt.
He was permanently excluded from school for threatening another boy with a knife. Dd says “that was ages ago you didnt even know him then”. Maybe thats true but i cant just forget hearing that.
He’s very into blood and gore. I know teenagers like horror films but this seems different. He showed me some drawings once when i was trying to be supportive and honestly they really unsettled me. I just smiled because i didnt know what else to do.
Dd has completely changed. She used to be a bit of a tomboy, now all she wears is black, dyed her hair black, loads of makeup, really revealing clothes which she never used to feel comfortable in. I know people change but it all happened so quickly.
She barely speaks to me now unless it’s to argue. She’s stopped seeing her friends. Doesn’t answer messages for hours. She wasn’t even turning up to college most days for a while and i only found out because they rang me. She stays out late with him, comes home smelling of drink sometimes and says i’m treating her like a child if i ask where she’s been.
Maybe i’m reading too much into it but he seems very controlling. If she gets a message while they’re together she ignores it until she’s away from him. If i ring she declines it.
Money doesn’t grow on trees either so i dont even know how Marbella is happening.
I just feel like i’ve lost my daughter in a few months. Everyone keeps saying if i push too hard she’ll run straight to him but if i do nothing i feel like i’m failing her.
AIBU for refusing to let her go?