6yo completely loses the plot after TV/tablet use, what do I do?

[TheJuryIsOut]

So my 6yo seems completely incapable of watching TV/playing on her tablet for any length of time without completely losing the plot when she comes off. So tonight she has watched about 45 minutes of TV, she then started arguing with her 11 year old sister and started kicking her and I had to physically drag her away at which point she started kicking me (which she never ever does, not even when she was a toddler) she just completely lost it, it was like she was completely out of control of her body/brain. She does this (although she's never physically attacked anyone before) almost every time she comes off a screen, just seems to turn into a completely different person.

Now I know people may say just get rid of all screens but is that really realistic in this day and age? She's going to be using screens at school and as she grows up, I just don't know if banning it outright is the answer. But what the hell is it about screens that could be causing this sort of explosive behaviour?

Maybe it's the transition? Is it suddenly taken away?
I would definitely reduce the screen time even if you don't take it away completely

It is as simple as just take it away. Keep tv off, get a tonie box. It’s a weak excuse to say she will be using screens in school - she’s 6 has she had tantrums and meltdowns in school so far? If not then screen time at school isn’t the problem.

I would set a time for 'five minutes until you are done' so there is a transition phase, but with the understanding that poor behavior means it goes away for 24 hours until you are ready to try again.

Seems ridiculously simple to me. Maybe I’m missing something
Misbehave = no screen time for a week. Rinse and repeat

I expect at school tablets come out for a specific task and time. You could try replicating that at home.

I'd also work on her ability to play independently, assuming you use the tablet so you can things done. Then you'll need to use it less and it'll be better for her overall.

I voted YABU because at 6 she definitely does not need a tablet and you actually could just ban screens altogether. It doesn’t matter if she’ll have access to screens growing up. She isn’t grown up now and you have the power to keep her away from them, so do.

She is giving you a clear signal she isn’t ready for screen time right now. When she’s older she’ll likely be better able to cope with screens.

But taking it away isn’t fair on everyone else who wants to watch tv

id remove the tablet for sure - we takes ours out only for long journeys

but tv I wouldn’t remove fully - have you tried doing a timer ? I give 10 min warning then 5 min warning and set a timer and when it goes off they know tv is gone and it’s helped massively

Take it away indefinitely. The tantrums will extinction burst but you’ll just need to stand your ground and wait it out.

I mean, this?!

Is there any additional needs? Ive noticed a correlation between adhd and screen obsession in young children,and obviously it possibly isnt that with your daughter, but worth thinking about 😊

She’s 6 so shouldn’t have access to a tablet at home at all imo. That would be a start. I agree banning TV would be more difficult but I would just use the TV as it was used pre internet. Let her watch a bit of kids TV after school but then have a cut off (say your tea time) and then after that, if you have the TV on, it would be because you or another family is watching it. Kids need to learn that they are not in control of screens in their presence.

No tablet. If shes watching the TV - make sure the content isnt whats making her an arse.

Horrid Henry is banned in our house for that exact reason.

Take away the tablet completely until older, that part is simple and correlates strongly with behaviour - they really are damaging. Regarding tv, if she plays up it gets turned off and she loses it for a day, longer if she repeats again.

What is she watching? Not all TV is created equal... some of it is of better "quality" in terms of encouraging attention span and avoiding lots of bright colours and quickly moving images.

This goes for adult TV too!

Take the tablet away FFS.

I’d restrict screens to TV in shared family space only. I found having a countdown on a timer, e.g. on my phone was more effective than me just telling the DC was time was up. They respected the timer more than they respected me 😁

6 is too young for a tablet so that needs to end immediately.
Now take a look at what they’re watching, too many parents allow their children to be fed absolute garbage by a screen for long periods of time and then wonder why it impacts behaviour.

Now I know people may say just get rid of all screens but is that really realistic in this day and age?
Yes, it is, certainly the Ipad is not at all necessary and very easy to get rid of.

She's going to be using screens at school and as she grows up, I just don't know if banning it outright is the answer.
It is, they use screens in school for short periods of time under the supervision of teachers and TA’s. They’re playing building games, learning to type etc not turning into a zombie watching utter brain rot.

I removed YouTube and all hand held screens/gaming from my 8 year old 4 weeks ago due to poor behaviour. He has completely transformed. TV is allowed but no YouTube. He’s sleeping so much better, no arguments at bedtime etc. Best thing I’ve ever done.

‘What do I do? Whenever I eat tomatoes I vomit copiously on the floor. It’s making my daily tomato eating hard - what do I do?’ Stop eating fucking tomatoes.

I would say the opposite and there’s a correlation of ADHD behaviour in children who have been raised by tablets since babyhood.

Jesus Christ. Of course banning it outright is the answer.

Well down! Too many parents refuse to take accountability with this and don’t want to admit that any of their choices have caused the issue their DC faces so they double down and just keep making the problem worse.

I agree with pp that "using screens at school" is a very weak argument for allowing a 6yo ok a tablet.