One of my old friends died a few days ago. I found out late last night and I was really upset. She was one of the kindest people I know and she didn’t deserve what happened to her.
I messaged my boyfriend to tell him and explained that I was really upset. He responded saying that life was unfair etc.
We have been together a few years. We don’t live together, as he has caring responsibilities which takes up a lot of his time.
I telephoned him this morning and he didn’t ask how I was, just complained about the fact that he felt down and that losing one of his parents last year still upsets him. He is often emotional when we speak and I always do my best to comfort him.
I rang him again later this evening to check he was ok and he then spent another half hour essentially giving a monologue about his day. Much of this consisted about none of his new colleagues (I will call her Sue). So it was ‘oh sue is really nervous about doing XYZ, I told Sue this joke, I need to make sure Sue is ok so I’ll have to do XYZ for her.’
Not once did he ask how I was doing. I’ve spent most of the day feeling really upset. And still can’t believe how hard this has hit me. I’m afraid that I got a little bit annoyed and said well now that we’ve made sure Sue is ok, were you planning at any point to ask me how I am?
This then turned into him telling me that he wasn’t going to allow me to pick apart his thinking (no idea) and that he was going to ask but I didn’t give him a chance and that he wasn’t going to argue with me.
WIBU unreasonable to end things? I don’t want to act hastily but he literally does not seem to care about me in any way. Me asking for basic care is interpreted as me being critical and picking at him. I accept that his life is difficult but mine is also similar in terms of elderly parents.