3 year old food refusal, worrying the life out of me

[mrssnow7]

My 3 year old DD refuses most food and it’s really beginning to worry me, DH thinks it’ll resolve itself in time but I’m not convinced.

Since she was 6 months, she ate salmon, all kinds of veg, fruit, never been big on meat but could always rely on salmon, haddock or cod etc.

For the last 6 months all she wants is plain pasta or jacket potato with beans.

She refuses all fruit other than watermelon, will not eat any veg except a corn on the cob which she occasionally nibbles at and she’s always yawning, tired even though she sleeps 18:30 - 7am and she’s becoming increasingly frustrated by me it seems.

I feel like I’m treading on eggshells, sometimes she’s the funniest, sweetest and kindest 3 year old I know then other times she’ll randomly lash out at me, she’ll scratch me or hit me in my face. Never her Dad, Brother or anyone else in the family/she’s never ever spiteful to other children and her nursery teachers adore her, she gets birthday party invites etc.

I always get to her level and explain that there is no smacking, scratching etc in our home and I’ll always follow through with an age appropriate punishment. I try and ask her what’s wrong, is there anything she’d like to talk to me about etc but I just get no or I don’t know.

She is 88cm and 14.5kg.

I end up binning so much veg/fruit and I’m sick of dinner time battles when I end up giving up trying to get her to eat the dinner I’ve made and I’ll cook her pasta or a jacket potato instead just so she’ll have something in her stomach.

Pre school tells me she tries every meal, every day it’s reported on the app that she’s ate at least half of it, things she wouldn’t even try at home.

We are down to option for breakfast which is Brioche, some days she has one bite of it then that’s it.

She refuses lunch completely on the days she doesn’t go to pre school.

She’d happily go through a whole pack of cheese strings, petit filous and crisps if I let her.

I just want her to be healthy and eating good food.

Any advice or experiences with similar would be really helpful, thank you!

Well it worked with all 3 of ours, including DS2 with autism and food sensory issues.

A biscuit or small piece of cake for trying all foods at the meal table is fine. The fruit/yoghurt are always on offer.

It’s ARFID stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.

It’s not going to be AFRID if she’s eating a wide variety if stuff at nursery. Can you chat to them to confirm this is definitely the case and they’re not just genetically saying she’s had ‘half’ when actually she only ate the plain potato? Presuming it is then I’d give her a multivitamin and make healthy family meals that you all eat together and can be deconstructed (like your chilli with jacket potato example) so no pressure but the option is always there to try and there is always something filling she’s likely to eat on her plate. Limit snacks to set times- mid morning, mid afternoon and make sure they’re appropriately portion e.g. one cheese string and one slice of watermelon so they’re snacks and not meal replacements.

She is trying out control. Put the food down and everyone in the house sits down to exactly the same meal. If you think/worry about what she might eat put a little piece of baked potato on everyone's plate. Ignore her food issues, clear away when everyone else has finished, including her plate. Serve pudding in same way.

Never comment on how much left/eaten. Keep it all calm and normal. She will copy at some point, just like at nursery.