AIBU to take a sick day when I feel overwhelmed?

[Cerc]

I never take a day off and manager really strict, when I’ve gone in obviously unwell there’s been no effort to tell me to go home. I haven’t been feeling too well mentally. My marriage is breaking down and my kids have been unable to sleep due to the heat. I just feel fed up. I could go either way not going in one day this week and just focusing on myself. What excuse would you give? I’ve never called in sick only for my kids and I don’t want to use my kids as an excuse. What would your reason be? What’s put me off in the past in the details they want of your sickness so it gives me anxiety and I just end up going to work. I really feel depressed but don’t want mental health to be a reason as I just don’t want them knowing. They won’t be supportive and will just use this information against me.

You should absolutely take a day to reset. Your manager should be open enough for you to say you need a mental health day but doesn’t sound like they are. Just say you’ve got a migraine or stomach bug

Haven't you just had 2 days off for the weekend? What difference is one more random day going to make?You can't plan to be ill. If you need time off, book holiday. If you cant handle your homelife and your job, start looking for a new job that is manageable for you?

I wouldn't, then. What happens when you're overwhelmed and you take time off is that you just dwell on things, sitting at home, and you get even more overwhelmed.

Could you get signed off for a week or so? Is one day going to make a difference?

The problem we have with calling in sick is that so many people take the piss that it becomes frustrating for employers and so they become excessively strict on people who are legitimately ill because they can'ttell who is real and who isn't. This thread 100% confirms that - so many people trying to help you lie to your employer.

Sick leave in the UK is at it's highest level ever currently. We are not sicker than we were 10 years ago, we have just developed a culture of entitlement, laziness and a lack of professionalism and commitment.

I get it @Cerc you just need a bit of breathing space without your DH and kids around. I’d agree that a migraine would be the best bet for a one day illness. Make sure you use the time to be kind to yourself and make any plans you need to make about your current situation.

Going forward, it sounds like a crap place to work, and I appreciate you’ve got a lot on your plate, but it would surely be better to find work somewhere else.

Please ignore those that have posted without any empathy. The fact is, you’re not ok, and if I was your colleague and knew you were going through a tough time, I’d have no problem covering for you. All the best

If you're a contractor and only paid for the hours you work, surely you can take a day off & not give a reason ?

Absolutely take that day to rest! I agree with others though, will one day be enough?

'Up all last night with diarrhoea and vomiting' would mean you can be OK by the following morning. But it sounds as if you need a bigger solution to finding life so stressful and exhausting.

I would go to the drs and tell them how you’re feeling. They’d likely sign you off sick.

Sounds like you need more than one day.

I wouldn’t use migraine as the reason. Unless you are a migraine sufferer it will just sound like wishy-washy bs.

I can use migraine as the reason because I actually get migraines - and have had them at the office, in full vomiting glory.

Upset tummy is best reason - just say “it’s only the bottom end at the moment but I feel very queasy there’s no way I could travel to work as I need to stay near the loo.”

Dentist?

Why don’t you just take AL?

I’m quite shocked at how many if you are coming up with ideas for lying!

Here's one way to take the guilt away. Hope this is ok to post here :-) clockedupapp.com

I used to pull a lot of sickies and I always said either stomach flu (you must take 2+ days), if you want one day “up all night throwing up” gives you clear to go in the next day (just make sure you look a bit shit). A weird one I used to do is I would hold my nose and say I can’t come in my nose won’t stop bleeding 😭. Probs best to do the first one, one time I tried the second and my manager told me “put a fucking tampon up your nose Cat and get to work!”

I really hope you’re okay though, you can pull through this. We all have rough patches, and the heat will just be making it worse. Sending hugs.

I'd say migraine. But today might be a bad idea, they'd assume you were up watching the football

Go to the GP. Burst into tears in front of them. Tell them all about the separation from your DH, how horrible he is, how awful you feel, how you are massively struggling with the DC, plus anything else that is making you overwhelmed or anxious.
Ask the GP for a sick note for a couple of weeks off, as you are just too overwhelmed and anxious about life and everything, and can't cope with work.
Keep up the tears throughout. You will get the sick note, which will give you the proper break you need to actually get your mental health back on track.

Don't underestimate the real and genuine distress and anxiety that a marriage break up is causing you. No one will thank you for 'soldiering on', so just don't.

Please don’t do this. We have a colleague who gets her partner to phone in for her. It’s ridiculous.

MN advocates lying all the time. It is shocking.

I’d tell them the truth , just say you’ve got a lot going on outside work and need a day or two off - can you just book annual leave ? I know when you don’t get paid it’s tempting to keep ploughing on but your rate should have provision for holiday pay.

I’m quite shocked by the lie suggestions too when it’s clear OP has an actual reason she could be signed off for!

But she is concerned about the stigma from an unsympathetic boss if she is honest about MH issues.

People tell small lies all the time. Giving one reason for needing a day to decompress and heal instead of another, which might lead to judgement, is hardly a lie that impacts the company. The day of sickness would be taken, whatever its cause.

What matters is that she gets well enough to return to work as fast a spossible, and a duvet day could be exactly what she needs. Just because our society, or her company doesn;t understand this doesn't mean it is irresponsible. It could be far more responsible than ploughing on and ending up on long term sick with a breakdown or the stress causing a physical illness that severely impacts her.

Food poisoning, maybe something spoiled in the heat. Prawn salad? You hate to miss work, but you’re vomiting and, erm, other things. It’s not contagious, so you can show up fine the next day.

Depending on her workplace, admitting to being depressed and overwhelmed might taint how she’s viewed by management and colleagues. Might cast doubt about her ability to handle tasks.