AIBU to object to school asking parents to cover trip shortfall?

[BingoBongoBusted]

So, I coughed up the required £23 for my child to go the school's "celebration day" for all year 5 and 6 children.
They have now said there is a shortfall, as not everyone had paid, and another £182.50 is required for the trip to happen, asking if any parents would like to pay more.
Pupil Premium families get half paid anyway, so those of us that have already paid in full are essentially being asked if we'd like to pay a bit more to fund the freeloaders who haven't paid.
AIBU to think this is outrageous???
I get that it's a trip in the school day,contributions have to be voluntary and unlike residentials either everyone goes or it doesn't happen, irrespective of who has/hasn't paid, but I thought charging extra to cover the non-payers wasn't allowed, which is what this very much feels like.

This is an amazing idea. It lays the situation and (lack of) obligation clearly on the table, so the parents in a more privileged position who can and want to have that transparent choice.

Presumably the school also makes sure that any 'gifted' places go to the kids whose parents genuinely can't afford to pay and not just to those who could, but just prefer saving their money and letting 'some other mug' pay instead.

This is infinitely better than sending a woolly letter, like in the OP, giving a general amount that 'is still needed' and no guidance, reasoning or justification ever offered as to whom is being asked and how much each is being asked to give.

Incidentally, in OP's case, what would the school do if people (maybe grudgingly) gave a total of £175, so it still wasn't enough? Or if 5 comfortable families each gave the whole £182.50 - especially as schools always include the message about the whole trip being cancelled if they don't get enough in... which probably also makes genuinely poorer families who want to go but can't afford it feel too ashamed to ask, when it's clear that their doing so may well jeopardise the trip for everybody.

But stuff like PP has broad categories. It would cost a fortune to investigate the precise situation of every eligible child to determine if they specifically deserve or require it.

They'll probably just get the standard replies about them being entirely optional; you can pay in instalments (as if that somehow reduces the cost in your stretched family budget); school will 'try' to help parents who are 'struggling financially' so that no child is supposedly excluded blah, blah, blah.

Well that's basically what the letter asking for £23 does,. But what costs £23 for 60 kids doesn't cost £23 for 50 kids because some costs don't go down with fewer kids. Such as astronomical coaches.
Coach costs say 1k. That's £17 each plus £6 entry for 60 kids. £23. It's then £20 each plus £6 entry if 10 parents say their kids aren't going. £26 each.

I agree... and yet very, very many of them still do.

You want OP to stalk around the playground at drip off making it clear she'd NEVER pay extra to help someone else's chidk and no one else should either because it's their parents mess to sort out?

Is this stage 1 in How To Make Friends and Influence People?

I really wouldn’t underestimate how much damage could have been done in those first few weeks even if they moved at 3 months. Clearly there is a spectrum and there will be some adopted kids who don’t have any ongoing challenges linked to the adoption but the policy is there for a reason as is allowing higher priority in admissions for schools etc. There are many things around government policy I question but this is not one of them.

Parents at ours sometimes said that on previous trips, others didn't pay, and got it free, so they're not going to bother paying this time, and it snowballed. Most people don't mind paying for someone who genuinely can't afford it, but some of the parents who had money to get their hair done at places most of us couldn't afford/fancy cars and holidays etc didn't pay for their own kids. I feel sorry for the school staff doing all the work too.

It is a very good system. We are in London and it really is a school of 2 halves. Catchment is very small and all the kids either live in a £2m++ house or in the local large high rise estate.

But all the parents (and kids) are very passionate about the school. I can’t imagine anyone just deciding they didn’t want to pay for the sake of it so I doubt the school needs to do any policing.

A lot of the families are very affluent so no child goes without. In fact, if our school sent out the letter OP received then they would probably receive at least 1 telephone call within the hour offering to pay the full £182.50.

Wow... Just... Wow.

That's another thing - I've always heard that part of the fees were for staff supervision, or other costs.

And you're spot on with it being cheaper to take them yourself. I've physically flinched when I've heard the costs of skiing etc. Can't imagine how our multiple holidays to Paris compare against just one with the school.

Then maybe call that parent out? Publically. At the school gate.

If that is what they are doing, shame on them, and why wouldn’t you shame them about it?

Maybe say what I’m about to say to you:

How lucky you are that you can afford this, or those other nice things and many people- you included- are a divorce, a serious accident or health issue, or a redundancy away from struggling to pay too. Wouldn’t you be grateful that others help makes sure your child doesn’t suffer in those circumstances? Why would you wish unhappiness and isolation on primary aged kids FFS? It isn’t their fault.

Skiing is one I'd happily pay the school for. I hate skiing myself but appreciate is a basic life skill like swimming so I was more than happy to outsource the kids lessons for this.

It's one of those things, some parents genuinely can't afford it, some are chancing their arm and some are disorganised and forget. There is no telling which is which and it's not the child's fault. Try to think of it as helping a child out and not the parents. I'm a primary school teacher and sometimes we would charge an extra pound to cover the shortfall or buy some biscuits etc for the trip.

I think that’s what pisses people off and makes them reluctant to contribute more. You can’t be sure if the family genuinely can’t afford to fork out of if people are chancing their arm.

It's up to the school to price the trips accordingly in the first place and build in a contingency to allow for this - not just send out an ambiguous letter just before the event asking parents to pay... how much? £182.50 each? 10% of that each? Another amount? Telling them that they need to pay 'something' in order to avoid losing what they thought they had already paid for is shockingly bad organising.

If they err on the side of caution and do have money left over at the end, nobody is going to complain about being given a fiver/tenner or whatever back - and they can always ask if parents want the refund now, for it to go to the school trip hardship fund, donate it to the PTA, knock it off their own payment for a future trip... or whatever.

But what they definitely DO need to do is to refuse to allow parents to book in without payment OR without speaking to the school first if they really can't afford it (or ticking a 'please contact me' box). There should be no mechanism whereby you can guarantee your place and then just freely decide - right up until the time of the trip, as the school organisers get more and more stressed - if you can be bothered to pay or not.

Skiing isn't a basic life skill! It's a pretty niche lifestyle option. Was that sarcasm?

Swimming is a basic life skill because there are plenty of times someone be near or in water and find themselves in trouble if they aren't a strong swimmer. Pretty sure the chances of someone accidentally finding themselves up a mountain attached to planks of wood and not sure how to use them are minimal.

I would pay the extra without hesitation.

@BingoBongoBusted I'd be tempted to be that parent who has changed their mind and has decided that little Tarquin has an allergies to tree bark and paint, so, as quite a lot of other parents have chosen not to pay, can I have a refund?

🤯

eta - especially as you said "My child isn't that bothered about going, so if it doesn't happen it doesn't happen."

I presume it must have been sarcasm.

Skiing is an essential life skill in the same way as knowing how to address your butler and how to recognise a genuine Rembrandt are also 'essential' life skills!! All very nice if you're in that privileged position, sure, but...!

I completely understand that aspect - it's like how the same trip would be completely different for the kids with their parents, and with their friends.

Not sarcasm at all. I've been to multiple corporate ski trips - what would I have done if I didn't know the basics. It's literally why schools run these trips so that kids can get the basic skills without their parents having to be dragged along.

Let's all race to the bottom. Maybe the kids should just never leave the school building and eat gruel so that no ones has hurty feelings.

One thing I do think schools should always ensure that they do - to help themselves and parents - is not to assume that every invited child will be coming, or will even want to.

We received several 'reminders' about making sure we filled in the consent form and sent payment by the deadline for our DS's place on the trip to Alton Towers. It very much isn't the kind of thing that he enjoys at all, and we asked him several times if he was sure he didn't want to go, with him replying "Definitely not" each time.

However, on the parental consent form, there are only options for 'I consent to my child going' and for 'I DO NOT give consent to my child going' - which then makes the parents look like the bad guys, and could put them in a very negative light if they keep doing so. In extreme cases, if schools have other potential causes for concern, repeatedly saying 'I do not consent' will likely be seen as a red flag and could be used against them.

They could save so much hassle if they simply added another option to say 'My child does not want to go, thank you'.

That's hilarious. Being able to fit in with posh firm jollies is also not a basic life skill "like swimming".

School ski trips are just a fun optional extra for kids who like that kind of thing. They aren't some kind of social skill training.

Every child should get the opportunity to visit museums and places of history and interest and places they can learn about other people and languages.

Skiing is an optional extra. You might as well expect school to organise horse-riding lessons, or opera appreciation.

This happened at my daughter’s primary school. No one paid extra apart from one generous parent. The event was cancelled and monies refunded.

I wouldn't pay it. I will pay my share but not other folks.