AIBU to refuse a Year 9 staying up for the 1am match?

[BlackTulipss]

Is this unreasonable?
Apparently "every other mum" is letting their school year 9 kid watch the 1am match tonight and phone in sick to school tomorrow morning then go in at lunch.
I've said no to staying up to watch it. Starts at 1am, it will go on till 3:30am, or later if extra time!
DS has to get up at 6:30 for school.
DH says let him, keeps going on about once every 4 years experience, it's only 1 night, etc. And he says it will be the final England match - they'll be knocked out by Mexico tonight so there will be no other England games to watch after tonight.
DS badly needs his sleep and at 14 he still needs a solid 11 hours to function.
Is anyone else letting their DC watch it live tonight?
AIBU?

This is another great idea. Phone off so no whatsapp messages! There are a few solutions that will work for most kids.

There we are then.
And what about the matter in the hand - the match? What’s the verdict?

If, as seems likely, most of the kids in his class are staying up, it makes no difference to his education if he does likewise. It's not as if it's the portal to a nocturnal existence.
No day off though. I let mine do the odd late night thing when they were at school, and while it was allowed as a one-off, they had to accept the consequences of missed sleep rather than catch up when they were meant to be elsewhere.
Can't help pitying the teachers.

I don't see the hype about it all tbh, maybe if it was the final I would let my year 9 and year 6 watch it if they were really keen, but otherwise probably not.

Thankfully nobody in my house is in the least bit interested (except DH but even he said he's not staying up).

IMO:

• It would be unreasonable to assume you can control when your child sleeps.
• It wouldn't be unreasonable to point out that being tired due to choosing to stay up / get up in the middle of the night to watch a match isn't the same as being sick.
• It wouldn't be unreasonable to tell them you won't make excuses for them at school.
• It wouldn't be unreasonable to remind a teenager who needs a lot of sleep to be able to function (growth spurt?) that this is the case.

I'm going to watch in the morning after a normal night of sleep. I don't see the point of denying myself sleep and feeling rubbish at work all day when it'd just be us at home watching anyway, since I'm not going to be taking my kids to a pub to watch nor inviting the neighbours round. My kids are welcome to do as they will do, and they've decided they'll join me and my husband and watch in the morning after a decent sleep.

YABU. Let him watch it. It matters to him.

"I'm a relaxed parent..."

Yeah right. I've read your posts and you are anything but relaxed if you're not getting agreement.
Also, good luck with that with a 14 yo, it's only just beginning.

He's 14! Jeez just let him. It's one night and we're nearly at the end of term. You're being very controlling and precious here.
What is his normal bedtime if he needs 11 hours?!!

Or end up in the school medical room
whining that you're tired and light-headed and can't focus...

...can you tell I'm really looking forward to work tomorrow 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄

Well he will be 18 or near enough next time so you wont stop him then, if we get this far again.
But he will always know you stopped him at 14.

My mum used to get us all up, as a single parent, to watch the big boxing fights at 2/30am back in the day. Some things are experiences that can't be replicated, and worth it. Are you sure this isn't your bias deciding you don't care so it shouldn't be worth it, rather than objectively assessing what would be good for him overall in spite of the fact you don't care?

And seperate to this, if he can't function at all after a single night of less sleep, there is something wrong.

This doesn't sound like the SEN child you described in an earlier post?
Anyway, hope you've come to a decision that is right for your son. He sounds like an angel so I think deserves to watch it like all his mates are.

I’d let him stay up or go to sleep and get up, but either way he would go to school at the normal time. I think it’s good to experience events like this but also the consequences of doing so.

If he was mine, I’d let him stay up, but not call in sick.

All the more reason to let him watch it. You’ve got the perfect golden child always full of the joys of spring, does everything perfectly without complaint and asks for this one night of slightly less sleep and you’re denying it? He’ll still get 9-10 hours if he goes to bed, gets up for the match and then goes back to bed after it. After all, he’ll fall back asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow. Maybe his singing will be a little more muted tomorrow morning and his smile slightly less sunshiney bright if they lose but he’ll have a core memory.

Your DS sounds like a dream child who causes you no problems, why would you want to punish him by not allowing him to do something that he really wants to?
His ask is not a big one, it will not impact you if you are sleeping anyway, even if he needs an early night to catch up on his sleep, again this will not cause you any issues, but you seem to want to assert your authority over him.
You don’t seem to realise how lucky you are with your DS op

Mistype: I meant 7-8 hours.

My Y9 is staying up to watch it.

There will be so many tired pupils (and teachers tomorrow) that one more won't make much difference. It's not like hes got to sit an exam. I would let him stay up if he really wants to. I wish I had the energy to do so. Get him a few snacks and make the most of the occasion. He will always remember it.

Let him its a one off .
Unlikely to win so quite possibly their last game of this tournament
Hes got to understand that he will have to go to school and most probably be tired

Let him do it. He will hate you tomorrow when all his mates are talking about staying up and the match. He can get a few hours sleep beforehand. It’s one night. He will remember if you don’t let him.

I've taken my kids to the cinema at midnight a few times (Avengers and Star Wars films mostly) and from a younger age. Now older teens they remember and love the experience of being up to do that more than they remember the films.

For Endgame they were 8 and 10 years old, and as it was a weekday I took them to school the following day, saying to the teachers 'I made an unwise parenting decision last night, well to be fair the decision was a few weeks ago, but it happened last night.'

One teacher thought it was an amazing thing for them to have done, as an occasional mad thing. The teachers at school tomorrow will be expecting some of the children to have been up tonight - and it's a one-off mad thing.

If you don’t let him watch it, it’s got nothing to do with how much sleep you need but you know he that don’t you?

Just let him go to bed at 5pm, then he can get his 8 hours in and wake up early at 1am to watch it. It's likely to be delayed due to the weather.

Letting your kids be early birds for the match feels far more responsible. Plus they will be all refreshed to remember every aspect of the defeat.

I’ve taken my boys to anfield night fixtures when it’s been a nightmare getting out of Liverpool, home about 2 am

they were primary age, they went to school the next day

it teaches resilience, that actions have consequences, and to prioritise things that are worth it