To just stop hiding my body?

[themiddleofourstreet]

I am a size 16-18, down from a size 32-34. I have lost a lot of weight and, as to be expected, I have a fair bit of loose skin. At the moment this seems to be centred around my arms.

I have always been insecure about it. I hated my arms at my biggest and I still don’t really like them now.

But I’m also bored of hiding them and staying away from gorgeous dresses because I’m worried that people will stare at my arms. Realistically, nobody will care, will they?

AIBU to just give up and stop hiding?

YABU - nobody wants to see that. Hide it away.

YANBU - I wouldn’t give it a second glance

Well done! Enjoy your body. There are very few prefect bodies around. We come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and one is not more valid than any of the others. Wear what you enjoy wearing and what makes you feel comfortable and cool. Life is not a dress rehearsal.

I’m the same size, kept creeping up. I don’t like my arms so summer dresses have a minimum of just about the elbow. If you want to look NICE you can still wear summery clothing that covers certain bits.

I’m not keen on the, letting it all hang out, look.

But it’s entirely up to you. Your life your body.

I’m fed up of hiding up to my elbows though, it’s really annoying

I think you should do as you like, but personally I prefer wearing dresses with loose elbow length sleeves in light fabrics. Cooler in the sun as well as covering my upper arms.

Then you should absolutely go ahead with the sleeveless dress.

Male here and I completely understand where the OP is coming from. I have lost 11 stone and am very self conscious of my body
It's easy for people to say nobody will look or care etc but that doesn't make it any easier. We're going to Majorca in October and I know I'll be very nervous about going in the pool with just shorts on.

Well done on a massive loss. Have you been doing any exercise?

Where do you find these dresses? Could you show some examples? I always cover my upper arms and never see dresses that finish at the elbow!

i’ve always been insecure about my belly and legs so have always covered them up - my weight has fluctuated and I’ve been everywhere between a 10 and a 28 so also have loose skin, but someone very rightly said to me that even if you cover up people still know you have a belly and legs because they are still there, so why cover them up? And it makes sense. People will still know you have “bigger” arms so just show them off anyway - don’t make yourself uncomfortable just to make others happy, it’s pointless!

Truthfully, when I see loose skin on people now I assume they’ve been on weight loss drugs and have lost weight too fast without trying to do any exercise!

I am a size 16 and I’d never wear a sleeveless dress even though I swim 75 lengths 4 times a week and so my arms and shoulders are well-defined. When I was younger I was a size 10 so I have a memory of how lovely I used to look in summer clothes. I don’t think sleeveless dresses look good on larger people. I only know one person who is size 16-18 who carries off dresses really well (she very fit, just large). For most larger women there’s just a huge expanse of upper arm and I don’t think it looks nice at all. I can’t imagine my dh looking at a load of saggy flesh thinking “she looks sexy today.” I prefer to feel that I look nice in my clothes and that makes me feel confident and attractive to dh. I wouldn’t feel confident with loads of flesh on show at all. It just reminds me I haven’t taken care of my body as well as I should have.

Weirdly enough, I have scars on my legs from an accident on my leg and I don’t mind showing them - if anything I’m proud of them because I had to learn to walk again and it was so incredibly difficult and painful. They are a testament to what I’ve done right with my body; the saggy bits (like my tummy) shame me and I don’t want people to know I haven’t looked after myself .

I am a size 16 and I’d never wear a sleeveless dress

This is so depressing

I wouldn't care. So long as your arse, genitals or tits aren't on display and then you'd take umbrage at people looking, wear what you want.

I went to an outdoor event yesterday - it was hot but what was great was the vast array of bodies on shape, not giving a shit, just enjoying the event. Fat, thin, wearing revealing clothing - just enjoying life. Nobody really cares what other people look like, wear what you like.

How nasty and judgmental.

The drugs don’t change whether you get loose skin or not. When you’ve been as large as I was, loose skin is a given. Even if you lose it at half a pound a week.

Blimey @AlreadyBettyso much to unpick in that one. Shame and self loathing, making your DH the benchmark on whether you look attractive etc

@AlreadyBetty I feel a bit sorry for you. They’re just arms, why be uncomfortable because someone random might judge you? Be like Elsa and “let it go”….

OP wear whatever you like. You’ve done so much to improve your health I hope your new dresses are gorgeous!

Wow. What a fantastic weight loss. You should feel very proud of yourself. I have awful arms too. If I hold them a certain way I have hangy skin and I’ve forced myself to not focus on them and wear what I like. I know that I don’t focus on anyone else’s arms so I’m sure they don’t focus on mine. I keep repeating that to myself 😜

If people have large weight loss, they can exercise till the cows come home, it won't tighten stretched skin. Exercise builds muscle.

Your self-loathing is really apparent from your post, and that's sad.. your DH knows what you look like unclothed and I'm sure he loves and desires you.

This is so true. If you just take a general look around your local area there’s all shapes and sizes and ages.

Thank you, I have been.yes, spinning and boxercise classes but still have some loose skin and I have always hated how I look.
I have literally had gangs of lads shouting fat cxxt out of car windows at me, I suppose the bad stuff is easier to believe

If only we could all have your will power and stamina. By the way my 11 stone loss had absolutely nothing to do with any weight loss drug.

I've always hated my legs. They've always felt like tree trunks, and I've kept them hidden since I was in my early 20s. I carry weight randomly around the sides of my knees, so they have a bit of weird bulge. It's not helped that I've inherited my dads legs, which were also bigger, where as my mum has little sticks for legs. Not an extra ounce on them. I'm surprised they hold her up tbh, but they've always been like that.

But just this last year, I've thought "fuck it" and got my legs out. And while I'm still not that confident, I'm wearing shorts more and more and caring less. I do wonder if I have lymphodema, as my arms and the rest of my body is quite normal sized... But I haven't cared enough to do anything about it.

I think if anyone has anything to say about your arms, the way you look, what you should/shouldn't be wearing etc - says a lot more about them, than it does about you.

You may feel uncomfortable/self conscious the first however many times you wear the sleeveless dress. Its not your current norm. The more you do it, the more it will become your norm. Growth, mentally and physically, often requires a bit of discomfort.

You got this - Enjoy the dresses!

Truthfully , your post isn’t coming across great & you’re going to get slated to shit for some of what you’ve written.
“ When I see loose skin on people I think they were on weight loss drugs , lost the weight too quickly & didn’t exercise “ , shitty remark & also untrue .
” I can imagine my dh looking at saggy flesh on show , & thinking , “ she looks sexy today “. 🙈.
You should be kinder to yourself & clearly others too pp .

Go for it! I deliberately bought a slightly small tankini this week, for a holiday in August to inspire me to loose weight!