To consider proper ADHD assessment for myself, age 52; will it change much?

[Opinionsprettyplease]

I've identified with ADHD traits for a long time, and according to the internet quizzes I tick all the boxes. I know this isn't reliable.
Testing would prob have to be private, and possibly problematic as I have no access to evidence from childhood eg school reports etc.
I've been struggling a while, mostly with work but also all sorts of life admin. The exhaustion is becoming too much, and I believe a major factor in my anxiety and depression. I'm self employed, so even with a diagnosis will have to make my own allowances and adjustments, so no big change really; I try to use tricks and tools generally suggested for inattentive ADHD (timers, body doubles etc).
So I suppose the big difference is the possibility of medication, and I'm wondering if anyone has any stories to share of this and how much it has or hasn't helped. Is it worth pursuing?
I should also say I suspect my 12yo daughter has similar and in some ways am seeing this as a tentative "first step" in looking into it for her.

If you suspect you daughter has any condition I'd get that looked into anyway.

Is she struggling?

If you want medication for your own possible condition, then I guess assessment is the only way you're going to get it.

I think it’s worth it. However, word of warning some GP will not take a private diagnosis for supplying any medication. So I think your first stop should be your GP to discuss the best route.

Also, our GP mentioned to DH that things start to become more apparent and challenging as you hit 50 as the normal process of aging highlights things to a larger extent and it may be as you get older the medication will be more beneficial. Not gone down that route so I can’t advise on the benefits of medication.

My daughter is 36. She saw her GP who referred her to whoever they refer you to. She waited about 8 months for diagnosis then another year for medication. It's a long process. However, the medication has transformed her life and she is overjoyed. So, yes, worth pursuing.

I am late diagnosed Audhd as is my husband. It hasn't changed much for me, as I am a carer. It has enabled me to look into resources and to have some clarity and peace of mind. I have felt a sense of self acceptance. I also went into lengthy counselling, but haven't looked at the medication route.

It has been more pivotal for DH as he has been able to have a work based assessments and adjustments. I'd also say start the ball rolling for your daughter first, my son who is autistic needed a lot of support in school.

@Beautyfox thanks, I'll consider that re private diagnosis and prescribed medication. I suppose the main reason I'm thinking private is the timeframe and also have a (probably wrong) notion that it will be more flexible in the absence of evidence from childhood.

Medication is life changing for many so worth it just for that imo

Look into “right to choose” options for your health board / county. Get GP to refer without that if you want to try medication you could be looking £400 a month bill. Definitely look into for you DD. Getting a diagnosis & medication has been life changing for my 14yr old. The RTC option still took a year from submission to assessment to trying medication for my DD.

I’ve been on the NHS waiting list for 2.5 years, it’s going to be another year at least. I’m 50. The main reason I want an official diagnosis is to easily explain at work how it affects me. I’m told that you can request shared care with your GP if you go private.

I think its worth pursuing before it gets to a point where you are discussing diagnosis in therapy because you mental health has collapsed from years of masking and burnout! Not saying it will actually happen to you, but I was aware I lined up quite well with inattentive adhd for years and didn't really think much of it, but now I am suffering burnout from chronic stress on top of the normal struggle of living with masked ADHD through a busy job and 3 young kids.

Interestingly my son has already been pegged for ADHD assesment at 6, but his dad has much more classic ADHD traits so I assumed it was from him!

My friend has just been diagnosed early fifties, essentially it came about because she identified so much with my daughter who had just got a diagnosis.

This is so interesting, thank you to everyone who has replied.
I've only since realised that there are similar threads running in Chat, so sorry if this is the wrong place.
Yes I'll need to prioritise my DD. Maybe go public myself, I've made it through 52 years, I can go another bit!!!

Yes definitely worth exploring as medication can be life changing, as can the knowledge that you have a different brain to the norm, which means you can make any adjustments for yourself.

For me, these are things such as asking for extra clarification when I don't understand something rather than fumbling along, not forcing eye contact, saying no to overwhelming social occasions, using earplugs, subtitles, etc.

I am also autistic and the sensory overwhelm has been dreadful in the past but now I know what I need to cope. It's still a work in progress but so freeing when you can give yourself some grace.

I wouldn't worry too much about the childhood stuff as a good assessor can diagnose with your recollection of events.

I would say stimulant medication has helped me but this is in addition to anti anxiety medication, HRT, and therapy.

@Opinionsprettyplease you need to think about whether a diagnosis would actually change anything or just leave you £2000 poorer.

I also likely have ADHD and tick ever box but I have learned to be at peace with my brain and accept that some things I struggle with but other things it's an advantage e.g. I can hyper focus on things.

Anyone and everyone wants an ADHD diagnosis these days, it’s the latest fashionable condition, the waiting list is so ridiculous these days, especially for adult assessments.

Realistically medication might not help you or could make things worse. There’s so many tools available to help without medication these days.

If anxiety and depression are your main concerns, go to your GP and ask for medication for those.

Diagnosed via the NHS in my late 40s a few years ago, so in case it’s useful… I had no access to school reports etc, was also concerned about it but needn’t have been, they seemed to wave it off. That said, whoever designed the forms you have to fill out should be charged with hate crimes against the disabled.

I take Elvanse now. It’s not the transformative medication for me that some other people experience, but I spend a lot less time standing in rooms trying to remember what I’m meant to be doing.

I also likely have ADHD and tick ever box but I have learned to be at peace with my brain and accept that some things I struggle with but other things it's an advantage e.g. I can hyper focus on things
100% this. The menopause is a significant transition for most women. We just come out of it slowed down, ADHD or not.

I am not diagnosed but I don't need to, it's obvious to anyone who knows me. What saved me is very low dose of a specific antidepressant.

The problem with most medical therapy is that it helps in one are, but causes problems on another. It's rarely a miracle cure, just weighting the benefits against the inconvenience.

Ultimately though, it comes to acceptance and adjustments. I just can't concentrate any longer as I used to. It frustrated me so much as I'm self employed too and need to write many reports. I just can't take on as much work as I would have been able to 10 years ago. It's just how it is. Battling against it makes me feel worse in the end than accepting it and getting on with what I can do.

It’s not more flexible, good private assessments use the same diagnosis criteria as NHS assessments. One of the criteria is traits being present in childhood, you won’t get a private diagnosis without that. However you don’t necessarily need evidence like school reports. I didn’t have those, or an informant who knew me age 12 or under. I used my DH as an informant and did the childhood part myself. I had a lot of traits of both ADHD and ASD in childhood so that part wasn’t difficult for me.

It depends on your GP practice, not all accept shared care.

Yes this is what I'm wondering really. I suppose I have always approached it as you do, but am increasingly struggling. I suppose diagnosis would provide two things;

1. bring some closure to the constant cycle of "am I imagining it. Is it trauma. Is it depression. Is it anxiety. Is it age. Is it menopause. Is it lifestyle"
2. possible access to medication

I was diagnosed mod 40s. The private assessment I has was simple to the point I did kind of feel anyone could game it to get a diagnosis, which I didn’t feel great about.

Stimulant meds help me feel less overwhelmed, get things done faster & more efficiently, and help me initiate and complete tasks. They make me less likely to want to cry with boredom at the prospect of peeling a parsnip. They help me feel a lot less anxious. My resting heart rate came down, which you wouldn’t expect whole taking amphetamines, so that suggests its reducing my stress levels a lot.

But it’s not a magic bullet, and I do get very cranky in the evenings when the meds wear off. Sometimes I take a short acting tablet before bed, which paradoxically helps me sleep, and allows me to tidy the kitchen so I don’t come down to a mess in the morning.

I do have some concerns about the long term physical effects of stimulant use but I figure I’m less likely to die by my own carelessness if I’m on the meds, so it’s swings and roundabouts.

I was diagnosed in the UK, by means of some self-report questionnaires, one from my mum (but it’s not like they checked her ID or anything - anyone could have written it), and a 45-minute Zoom call.

We currently live in the US where my DC had a much more thorough evaluation, including tons of cognitive and psychological tests over 3 long days. As a result he was un diagnosed with ADHD, though kept his existing UK diagnosis of ASD.

The tests suggested DS’s attention is actually fine and his working memory is excellent, but he has extremely slow processing speed. He also has unusually high intelligence in one or two areas and solidly average intelligence in others - which makes school tough as he’s massively bored in some lessons, and massively frustrated and impatient in the lessons where he has to work harder with less reward.

He also has poor visual tracking (which is why he can never bloody find anything even when it’s right in front of him), and pragmatic language issues & perfectionism consistent with his ASD diagnosis.

All of which adds up to an executive function shitshow (in layman’s terms) that isn’t much helped by stimulant meds - apart from that they did help his frustration tolerance and mood management during the school day.

I found that all extremely interesting! But nobody has any suggestions for what could be done to help, apart from some eye exercises and extra time for tasks and exams.

I’d love to have similarly rigorous testing done on me - as I do think it really helps to have some understanding of why things are as hard as they are. But I can’t afford it, so I’ll just soldier on with my meds.

Just as food for thought - somebody I know had their child diagnosed privately, and medication is two hundred pounds a month.... the child's is now thriving but in our area there is no shared care agreement so they are tied into this for the foreseeable. Not a reason not to pursue a diagnosis per se, but for some - including us - this cost is prohibitive...

To add, our child is on the diagnosis pathway, but the waiting time for nhs route is four years... don't think it's unusual, sadly!

@VoltaireMittyDream I'm a bit concerned about that too re the assessment. I'm in Ireland rather than the UK but what I'm reading online seems to concur; a few questionnaires and a zoom call and no real insights gained.

Just saw this - and wanted to say that you may not get that closure, not least because your mind may be in a constant battle between the need for certainty and the urge to constantly question and revisit, which is central to ND experience.

And it can also 100% be a combination of all those things. The idea that there is one and only one cause of how we function in the world is seductive but also reductive.

But you’re not imagining the differences and difficulties. I work in mental health and I work with mostly ND people. When occasionally an NT person crosses my path, their engagement with therapy and the way they talk about their life and their struggles is hugely, palpably different - even when they’re depressed, or traumatised, or deep in perimenopause brain fog. The best way I can describe it is there is more coherence and flexibility / adaptability. They don’t fall down cognitive trap-doors all the time. Time and space feel solid. There’s an ability to create a clear and concise narrative that connects different parts of their lives and experience, and weights each part appropriately. They generally get more out of talk therapy as they are more able to take what they need and leave the rest, rather than needing everything to make total logical sense, and provide conclusive answers or a watertight framework for everything, leaving no loose ends. More ability to tolerate unsolved problems and imperfection and life as work in progress. It sounds lovely, TBH!

Yes, with many of the private assessments it's "pay for a diagnosis" rather than "pay for assessment." So even if they say you have ADHD, will it actually stop you wondering if it's that or lifestyle or menopause or etc?

8 months is amazing! I waited over 6 years!