To consider proper ADHD assessment for myself, age 52; will it change much?

[Opinionsprettyplease]

I've identified with ADHD traits for a long time, and according to the internet quizzes I tick all the boxes. I know this isn't reliable.
Testing would prob have to be private, and possibly problematic as I have no access to evidence from childhood eg school reports etc.
I've been struggling a while, mostly with work but also all sorts of life admin. The exhaustion is becoming too much, and I believe a major factor in my anxiety and depression. I'm self employed, so even with a diagnosis will have to make my own allowances and adjustments, so no big change really; I try to use tricks and tools generally suggested for inattentive ADHD (timers, body doubles etc).
So I suppose the big difference is the possibility of medication, and I'm wondering if anyone has any stories to share of this and how much it has or hasn't helped. Is it worth pursuing?
I should also say I suspect my 12yo daughter has similar and in some ways am seeing this as a tentative "first step" in looking into it for her.

I was diagnosed on the NHS at 56. It’s been massively helpful. I did an NHS psychotherapy group course for several weeks which they offered, was also offered individual therapy but not doing that yet and tried medication.

Just getting answers had helped massively as has the techniques I learnt on the group course. I’m too scared to continue with medication atm.

OP, I'm in Ireland too. Am nearly 100% I have ADHD and possibly autism, I'm not sure about that. I tend to take things literally which is why I never thought I had ADHD. Did I find school boring and it hard to focus - no, I loved school and loved learning new things. Didn't realise the questionnaires mean the boring stuff, which made my skin crawl... Do I constantly lose stuff - no, I never lose anything. Didn't realise questionnaires mean do you misplace stuff - yes, constantly to the point of it being comical. Do you find it hard to focus - no I have amazing ability to concentrate/focus - hyperfocus after weeks/days/hours of procrastination.

Anyway the cost is off putting for me and due to my self diagnosis I'm managing myself better. I've learned that delayed gratification doesn't work for me, I need the rewards first. Completing leisure tasks ups my dopamine a bit, so if I fool around doing stuff like wordle on my phone I can get things done afterwards. If somebody else starts doing something I can finish it, even if what they've done is completely stupid. I don't seem to mind redoing. Perhaps fixing things raises dopamine, I'm not sure. Anyway I beat myself up less about the way I need to operate and that makes life better.

Also lack of hormones made my ADHD traits a lot worse so if you're not on HRT get that sorted. Incidentally there is some evidence that ADHD women don't get on with progesterone. Oestrogen is a stimulant.

This is atrocious advice.

I wasn't interested in a diagnosis at all and was very reluctant to even do screening, but my therapist who I see for a sudden severe increase of anxiety and depression took me through the process.

It is extremely relevant to the correct treatment of mental health conditions to understand neurodivergence, and especially for the treatment of anxiety and depression. Why on earth would you genuinely want someone to forgo understanding their own minds, and take unnecessary or inappropriate medications that have masses of side effects, when it would be more beneficial to develop coping mechanisms through understanding their ADHD? What sort of chip do you have on your shoulder?

And I agree it is especially important for women to get diagnosed because women who have ADHD can be much more sensitive to hormone fluctuations that can come from different life stages and are much more susceptible than neurotypical women to develop conditions like PMDD which can be absolutely harrowing.

But sure it's definitely just a trendy quirky label

I get quite annoyed at the 'Everyone wants an ADHD diagnosis these days' trope. I can't speak for every clinic, but the assessment process for most, is very long, stringent and has to be evidence based. People don't get given a diagnosis easily and it comes after all other mental health possibilities are considered by a team of clinical psychologists. I wouldn't have considered going through it if not for massively declining mental and physical health during the menopause. HRT did not solve this and actually made things worse.

Op I was lucky to have all my school reports, as I didn't want to involve my elderly parents, one of whom has dementia. Is there a family member who can help you with the questionnaires?

It’s a personal choice. I have many of the traits but I’m in my late 40s and I manage them perfectly well. I wouldn’t take medication for it, so it seems rather pointless getting a formal diagnosis. I appreciate others will view it differently.

Plenty of ADHD assessments aren’t rigorous though - you only need to be in some ADHD groups to hear about how many people were disheartened by how short and shoddy their assessments were - some assessors even telling people what they needed to say if they wanted the ADHD diagnosis.

No. It’s pointless.

That is bad. But surely someone must know their diagnosis isn’t necessarily proper if they’ve just had a short zoom interview? Surely they’d want to know if they really have it or not?

That’s why people voice feeling disheartened about it - most people want a robust assessment process so they can have confidence in the diagnosis they’re given

This is terrible 😭
Does anyone know if the process is similarly hit-and-miss for children?

I'm not sure about the pathway for children. My son was diagnosed with autism through CAMHS as the school said that the local authorities won't always accept a private diagnosis. There may well be long wait lists now, others would be able to advise better.

There is some advice here. ((ADHD Diagnosis Pathways (Children) - ADHD UK

14 members of my family, ranging from ages 9 to 77, have been diagnosed with ADHD in recent years and are all on medication.

They all think it's fantastic.

Got to be honest - I think for at least some of them it's just a fashionable badge of honour, but maybe it will work for you.

Can anyone recommend a robust private diagnosis for someone in their 50s?

@Opinionsprettyplease it’s pretty focused on your childhood so do be prepared. But they will want questionnaires about your childhood filled in by parents and friend too

My NHS one was through and they used my ASC diagnosis which they’d done too. I think it has been recognised that the NHS wait lists need to be sorted.

www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/report-of-the-independent-adhd-taskforce-part-1/

@AGlessandahalf I was assessed by McKeown Psychology Associates Ltd in Brighton. An extremely thorough process lasting several hours/days and one of the only places I could find that look at the entire neurodevelopmental picture. I am also under an NHS psychiatrist, again they were /are very thorough.