AIBU to report a colleague after a child with allergies was given milk? Update!

[Pinkpony123]

So Update

Been just over a week since the incident. A couple days ago got pulled into the managers office about it (been waiting all week for this). The person who gave the milk went to management saying I had said all this awful stuff to and about her (I never directly engaged with her about it or said anything about her) She wrote this full statement about what had supposedly happend (I didn't read it but my manager told me about the key things I had supposedly said). She claims the person has been dealt with separately for giving the child milk. I was told I was not in trouble (the way she was talking I defo am though) but I don't think she believes me for the fact that I didn't say any of this other stuff.

The member of staff who gave the milk has decided to leave and not come back don't know if it was related to this or if they decided it just wasn't for them.

I think that you should read the statement before making your own statement about the facts of what happened and what you did say during this incident.

And Google isn't the natural place to start?

However, you did tell everyone on Mumsnet about the incident. That’s hardly discreet.

I was looking for advice to see if I was being unreasonable for thinking that I had done nothing wrong as I was being made to feel like I was in the wrong and not being spoken to by my colleagues over this incident. I've kept out identifying features.

Google for advice on the right union for you. They don't hide the info or make it hard to join. Generally, I'd try to move on from the issue if I were you. It's not that you did anything wrong, but for whatever reason it's led to someone leaving so people are bound to have feelings about it. But it's sorted now and something else will come up to occupy people's minds. If you move on from it, others will, and most already have by the sounds of it.

There you go - took all of 2 secs. Now look into which one fits you best -

Nursery staff can join several different trade unions depending on their specific workplace and role. The most popular options in the UK include UNISON, the National Education Union (NEU), Community Trade Union, and United Voices of the World (UVW).
Here are the main unions for nursery workers:
UNISON: The largest union for early years, representing support staff, nursery nurses, and assistants across all types of nurseries.
NEU: Represents staff in both council-run (maintained) nurseries and private or voluntary childcare settings.
Community Trade Union: Represents thousands of early years practitioners and nursery workers across the UK.
United Voices of the World (UVW): A grassroots union that represents a dedicated sector of childcare workers.
Voice Union: Highly recommended by forum members for private nursery staff and those without formal teaching status.

Someone has wrote a full statement making allegations about you and you didn’t read it? Is that because you didn’t ask to read it or was happy enough listening to the key points from the manager?

The nursery are unbelievably lucky that this is how it ended tbh.

You did the right thing reporting it though.

And join a union. Do it today so it’s all set up before your next shift.

I didn't know I was allowed to I have never had someone write a statement against me before.

But you could have asked?

You do seem rather helpless here I'm afraid.

This is the first time I've ended up in a situation like this. Well I feel helpless as my nursery is such a toxic situation where saying or questioning anything is seen as a problem 🙈

All the more reason to join a union. It's likely there will be more incidents like this. A union can help you defend yourself, especially if the accusations are unfounded (and even if you have messed up in some way). But you have to join before another situation arises to qualify for help. It's an insurance.

Unison is a very large union but EY staff are a tiny %age of their membership, so might not be the best union to represent you. NEU is the largest education union, with members across the whole sector. The others mentioned are tiny.
You really do need to look into what's available and make your decision quickly to join one or another. You need to gave the ba ki g of a large organisation behind you, in case you are accused of any wrongdoing in future.
I suggest that over the weekend, you write your own statement of what happened in the milk incident, with the names of any witnesses, keep a copy and ask your manager to put a copy with the other paperwork about the incident. Just in case there are any further repercussions.

Jeez some snipey mumsnetters on here today!
I wouldn’t worry too much this if the milk-giver has left. If you want to protect your reputation and defend yourself over what you’re being accused of, in order to not leave anyone in any doubt, and shut up the toxic colleagues, I would be asking to read the statement and preparing your own statement in defence of what’s been said. Your managers won’t be able to take this any further forward in the absence of any witnesses, but I’d be at least defending myself.
Actually if your workplace is that toxic that they believe the word of someone who would recklessly endanger a child in the absence of any evidence, you should be considering your future there.

Trust me I'm working on getting out at the moment!

Hi, my son has a non lethal cows milk protein intolerance. Overall I’m a chill parent don’t care about dirt and paint at nursery. I got a call a month ago to tell me he’d managed to get pizza, only a bite, and the new girl who was on snack was so so upset she’d accidentally allowed this. To me, this isn’t an issue as at home we are trialling milk now anyway, and they notified me and stopped him straight away. It’s possible depending on child’s age that they aren’t in bother as child may actually be receiving milk at home. It’s not often a lethal allergy and not all parents demand jobs to be taken! I appreciate your concern though but it did happen to us and I wasn’t upset at all. He also was given an out of date bottle of milk and contracted E. coli at crèche not nursery, THAT I was annoyed about and I made relevant reports as he was really really ill. Just a different perspective for you

Don’t let it put you off. You’re getting a bit of a badging but people sometimes do start new threads and don’t receive the vitriol that you’re getting here.

Her leaving sounds like a win. She sounds absolutely toxic and the DC will be safer without her around.

But it could have been much worse if the child had drank more then they had. If I hadn't come outside when I did then the child would have drank the whole cup as they were chugging it back

I get as a parent you wouldn't have been hugely concerned but nobody knew the child was on the milk ladder at this time.

But the point is posters are going to have to hunt around for your previous thread. You could have just posted your update on the thread.

I think you need to get that statement removed from your record because on its own it looks like you are a bully / mean girl which could affect your future

if they wont remove from your file your statement needs to be added so its clear you were a whistleblower and not a bitch

What key things should I include in thr statement? Should I write it at home and take it to her or should I talk to her before writing. Should I also name the child in in or should I refer to them as initials or something else.

Statements like that should be objective and factual. Document events in chronological order, only including what you actually saw happened.
I would refer to the child as eg B2 if they were a boy aged 2. Or something like that. Initials are not very anonymous.
We document a lot at work (hospital) and this is the type of thing we do
For conversations where other people are referred to I would also use eg CW1 (coworker1), or NS1 nursery staff 1 etc
Good luck op

Thankyou 😁