To be upset no pictures of my son?

[Susuzw]

Please help me get over this. I’m feeling really upset I do tend to feel deeply as I suffer from RSD which makes normal emotions feel worse.

So my son had his primary school prom yesterday and parents were not allowed to stay obviously so drop off and pick up. We were told plenty of parents helping so they will take pictures. My son was the first to arrive and within an hour lots of pictures posted on the group chat but not one single picture of him! I feel socially he gets left out as he’s not friends with the boys of the PTA mums. I find it really nasty, if I had been volunteering (I did offer but was told no they have enough) I would definitely have made sure all kids were included.

I Sent a message to one of the PTA mums to please take a picture and she took 3 but half assed ones where he’s not even looking at the camera!

I feel sad the other kids have Lovely pictures to look back on with beautiful backdrops and really stunning prom balloon display in the back but he doesn’t have one decent pic to look at.

how can I let this not upset me?

I know what you mean. It was DS’s Y11 prom this week and he isn’t in any of the publicly posted photos. They said photos would be available to purchase online after the event but we haven’t been sent a link. I got lovely ones at home obviously but I wanted to see him there having fun too! Having said that, he isn’t massively extroverted so he spent most of the night chatting with his small friendship group.

They didn’t post one of him getting out of the car because we have a humble 26 plate merc but the kid behind was dropped off in a lambo so immediately outdone!

Did he want his picture taken? Did he join in when pics were being taken? There are no pretty backdrop pics of DD at her leavers party because she was too busy jumping around on the inflatables, kicking a ball around and running about in the field…. and I was actually there for a couple of hours!!

This is absolutely crazy. The consequence of attitudes like this is that no one will want to volunteer for events and the events won't happen.

Photographs aren't that important.

So he wants photos? He has asked for this? Or is it all you?

You sound very over the top and no you should npt have emailed about this, let the child breathe

Parents who do absolutely nothing to volunteer and help the PTA that go on to complain about minor things the PTA volunteers don’t do, are the absolute pits.

Your son’s not a trained model and this parent volunteer isn’t a trained photographer. If you were so fussed, you should have volunteered yourself!

We had a year 6 prom for dd. I was even one of the organisers! I look back on it and do regret a bit how it snowballed from a disco in the hall to a prom with limo! I just kind of went with the majority. None of the parents objected. The kids had a blast.

But I do think it's unfair of the mums that went to not ensure they got photos of everyone. Easily done in a group photo. Some PTA mums are just there to benefit their kids and suck up to the teachers

OP did volunteer

Second paragraph of the op - she did offer, but was turned down.

She said primary. They’re 11!

Big difference offering to volunteer at the event but not doing the hard work of organising it. Then complaining

As a mother of 3 older sons, I understand why you are upset about not having any good photos of him to look back on yourself but if it puts your mind at ease at all, he probably won't care. There's no need to be disappointed on his behalf.

It’s not the op’s fault that the schoo/PTA decided to hold a leavers’ prom (leavers’ disco in old money - they’ve always been a thing). Given that there was one, i completely get why the op was disappointed that her son didn’t have a posed photo taken, when lots of the others did. Different if there were lots of general photos of the event, and her ds just didn’t happen to be in shot (until she made a request), but that’s not what it sounded like.

Yes, it probably is more important to the op, than her ds, but most of us have been there! If you didn’t get any pictures of him at home before he went, op, why not get him to put on the outfit he was wearing and take a nice photo of him yourself? Frame it with one of the informal photos from the event, and then put the whole thing to bed. It’ll hopefully become less and less of a niggle over the next few days.

Yes. I correct myself in my next post because I couldn’t edit. Useful comment though.

Don't do this

Perhaps he didn't want to be photographed. My son would do everything possible to avoid someone taking photos. All the way through school he didn't want to have photos on line, in groups or on school websites so I arranged for this not to happen. For his primary primary (ridiculous) I took a photo at home for the family only. It's a stupid thing to get hung up about.

Read the post properly.

Another one for DONT DO THIS

I don’t think they didn’t take pictures of your son out of nastiness, they did overlook him though because they were intent on taking photos of their own children.

It should have been a project that all children got a photo against the backdrop. But sadly in this case it wasn’t organised.

Maybe have a word with the head PTA mum. She should have been more organised.

A primary school prom?? What fresh hell is this?
Bring back the 80's of sweaty middle school end of term Disco's 😢

She just means a leavers party.

Primary school. I think it's ridiculous they do that at that age. My son didn't even go to his Secondary prom.

Did you not take pictures of him before he left?

When did this stupid PROM start?
Primary School it’s all abouthaving fun adventureslearning not looking in the mirror and seeing what they look like absolutely awful

I expect the last thing that PTA parents need whilst organising a party for the whole year is parents demanding photos. There is normally guidance that days don't post photos on social media unless they are your kids. Next time if photos are that important to you volunteer to help.

Aside from the leaver party/prom debate, I understand how you feel about your son not being in photos. It’s just about having something to see that they are OK and enjoying themselves, and for a memory of an occasion.

My daughter is the same.

Sadly, she just isn’t very Instagrammable, and I think that’s why she is photographed very little. (I am not saying this is the case for your son).

I noticed on the photos from the school residential this year that the popular attractive children had many photos, whilst she was at a distance/a face in the crowd.

Even in competitions, the professional photographers seem to focus on the more photogenic children with barely any of her, which is then a bit embarrassing when winners are announced at the end.

On the flipside, if I am volunteering/chaperoning and I know the parents are happy to have their children photographed, I make a big effort to make sure I take photos of everyone. However, it gets horribly busy at times, and the priority is keeping all the children safe. Sometimes there just isn’t the time to get photos. So there will be events where I have lovely photos of some children as they happened to be near me during lulls in activities, but I won’t be able to photograph the children I am helping at other times, because it’s so hectic/not appropriate to be taking photos.

It won’t hurt them. I grew up in the era of 24/36 frame film reels. There was also the cost of getting photos developed as well as the price of the film itself. Therefore photographs were much less commonly taken. I was also a middle child. There are barely any photos of my childhood, but I have enough stored in my brain to remember it fondly.